Does breastfeeding in public offend you?

Contributor: Ash1141 Ash1141
It's fine and natural.
09/12/2011
Contributor: PussyPurr PussyPurr
I am amazed at the ignorance, intolerance and misinformation that surrounds this issue. It just takes my breath away. Thanks to people like P'Gell who at least make an attempt to educate (though once people have their minds made up they are stubbornly resistant to things like facts).

I did notice many of those who are most critical and think it's "disgusting" are quite young. It's sad that people who don't think twice about discussing actual sex-related issues such as dildos and butt plugs can't handle a woman breastfeeding. Wow, just wow.

Personally, I was 18 when I had my first. I was a 17 year old pregnant high school student spending a lot of time reading and learning about breastfeeding because...well, that's how you fed babies. What was somewhat unusual about this was I had virtually NO exposure to nursing babies so like many young women nowadays (who rarely get exposed to nursing babies but get plenty of cultural brainwashing about sexualizing their bodies and breasts) I had no clue what it was supposed to look like or be like. I also bought into the crap that you should wean when the kid hits a year (luckily I was more educated with my second and we went over 2 years).

Anyway, obviously NIP doesn't offend me one bit. I have better things to do and worry about than hate on some poor woman who is just trying to feed her child.
09/12/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
Not against people doing it. However I think that women should cover up with a blanket or something. That way no one has to see anything and plus maybe you won't have weirdos staring at you breastfeeding.
09/12/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Illumin8
I personally agree with Blinker on this one. I'm completely in favor of breastfeeding, but the majority of the time that I see it being done in public, the mothers make little to no attempt to cover up whatsoever. If it would be inappropriate in ... more
Why not then?

Because infants need to eat, and if you read the entire thread , not only were the reasons that often what women who have no children think is "discreet" is impossible to do, it was explained, by women who have nursed their children and many babies simply cannot take bottles, even of expressed milk. (I failed as a bottle feeder myself, I HAD to breastfeed, no other choice) and the fact that making food for small children is what breasts are for, it is completely different that is "exposing" oneself.

I find it hard to believe that "the majority of the time.. women make little attempt to cover up." Although I do believe that the more women who breastfeed openly are helping to desensitize and de-sexualize breastfeeding for everyone.

I am a Board Certified Lactation Consultant and one of the most difficult issues I face with my patients is GETTING THEM to breastfeed outside their own homes or to even feed without suffocating the baby under a pile of blankets. Many babies simply won't nurse when their face is covered. Try eating your dinner, in the middle of summer or anytime with your head covered, you won't be able to do it either. Add that to the fact that the average baby nurses between 8 and 12 times a day, often as often as 24 times a day, and it means that if a woman with a baby wants to leave the house, she NEEDS to feed her baby, whether others consider what she is doing "discreet" or not.

Honestly, you can see more of the breast in a woman in a bikini or a V Neck top than you see breastfeeding. Have you never seen a nipple before? If not, it's time you do.

When I nursed my babies, (and I nursed a LONG time, my youngest a premie nursed for 4 years) after the initial fear of nursing in public wore off, I fed them where ever and when ever they needed it, until they were about two years old and could wait until we got home. I have seen much more disgusting things in public than breastfeeding (in fact I think it's beautiful, as I honor the female body) the way people chew, the foods they order, the way they stuff their faces, the crap they feed their kids, YET all that is MY problem, not theirs. It is not up to me to tell a woman feeding her child blue Kool Aid in a bottle that I am "offended" by it. It's MY feeling of offense, so I own it and move on and look away. And in the grand scheme of things, not only is it really NOT important, what I CHOOSE to be offended by, but it isn't MY business.

I have learned to ignore things that "offend" me but are not harmful, and those who oppose public breastfeeding will have to learn to do the same... or spend a lot of time being offended, when they could make better use of their time. Accepting breastfeeding as a whole includes accepting how different women feed their babies, no matter how much skin is showing or "covered up." We are not prudes (I assume) nor Victorians, so [italic]we need to get over our feelings of entitlement to "being offended" by normal things]. Even if we don't personally like them.

If you don't like it, don't look. A small child's NEED for his mother's milk is more important than what either you or I think about it. That's a fact.
09/12/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyPurr
I am amazed at the ignorance, intolerance and misinformation that surrounds this issue. It just takes my breath away. Thanks to people like P'Gell who at least make an attempt to educate (though once people have their minds made up they are ... more
Good for you. I'm very proud of you. And when they are old enough, your babies will thank you for your efforts. I know my kids have.

We learn more with each child, I nursed each of my children longer, too.

It's SO hard to talk to teens about breastfeeding. I have about 50% success with teens, while my older patients are about 95% success rate. I give talks at the local high school about it, and so many of them roll their eyes, or say "EW" or say things like, "Nasty. Those are for my boyfriend."

It is very heartening to see a teen mom who broke tradition and did what she simply KNEW was best for her baby.

KUDOS, sweetie.
09/12/2011
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
It doesn't bother me as long as mother's are considerate of where and when they breast feed. If your child is hungry, then I would prefer that you feed it than it be crying because it's hungry. However, a little tact is appreciated, especially in a restaurant or in other public places. Think of it this way: If you wouldn't eat there, should your baby?
09/12/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
I've no problem with it, where-ever it is.
09/14/2011
Contributor: MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
I don't mind it. Such a beautiful bond between mother/child...AND it's super healthy for the baby
10/02/2011
Contributor: Dear Ruby Dear Ruby
I think breastfeeding is natural and healthy, but should be done discretely. If I happen to see it, I'm obviously not going to flip out, but I think nursing mothers should try as much as is convenient to cover themselves or take it to a less public place.
10/02/2011
Contributor: kitty377 kitty377
I think its fine. Maybe not that okay if you really expose yourself, but if you're covered up then feed the baby!
11/09/2011
Contributor: ilbelsole ilbelsole
I could care less if she's breast feeding. But, I do wish I would have some warning that when I turn my head I'm going to see a tit hanging out in public.
11/10/2011
Contributor: LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Why not then?

Because infants need to eat, and if you read the entire thread , not only were the reasons that often what women who have no children think is "discreet" is impossible to do, it was explained, by women who have nursed ... more
If you don't like it, don't look. A small child's NEED for his mother's milk is more important than what either you or I think about it. That's a fact.
agreed fully
11/10/2011
Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
Breast milk is the best thing for a baby, and the actual purpose of breasts is for providing food (just like all animals have nipples/teats/etc). The fact that breasts are sexualized doesn't mean they lose their original purpose. I have no problem with women feeding their babies in public.
11/10/2011
Contributor: eeep eeep
Breastfeeding is normal and natural, and a hell of a lot healthier than formula. That said, in public places like restaurants a mother should be discreet about it, as that is being respectful to others.
11/10/2011
Contributor: billybobtoy billybobtoy
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Recently in the news in some random Midwest McDonald's, a woman who was breastfeeding was asked to leave. The lady doth protest too much and proceeded to find other breastfeeding mothers and have a...tit-in? They all gathered at Mickey D's ... more
its natural
11/10/2011
Contributor: Kaltir Kaltir
I understand that many women believe in solely breastfeeding, but a child doesn't have to eat 24/7. If you need to go to the store, etc, I think you should wait until your baby has fed. Not even so much because it can be found gross, or offensive, but because some people have children that they don't want asking a ton of awkward questions. Obviously they will someday, but I wouldn't want to have a 4 year old asking questions that are hard to explain and lead to questions that are even harder to explain.
11/10/2011
Contributor: Cherrylane Cherrylane
I think it's fine. ESPECIALLY WHERE PEOPLE EAT. Babies eat too, you know. It's not like they're performing a kinky sex act. It's a boob. It's anatomical purpose is not sexual play thing.

And saying they need to cover up... Well that just gets into the question of why the hell women can't be topless in public in the first place. In most cases men can be unless there's a no shirt no service rule like there are some places here at the beach.

But really, stupid stigma. Anyone against it should try and be a little more self aware of why they think the things they do.
11/10/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Recently in the news in some random Midwest McDonald's, a woman who was breastfeeding was asked to leave. The lady doth protest too much and proceeded to find other breastfeeding mothers and have a...tit-in? They all gathered at Mickey D's ... more
I think it is NASTY...DISGUSTING.... RUDE and HORRIBLE.....to expect a woman to feed her baby, NATURALLY...in a BATHROOM, because we have SO twisted our puritanical sense of body parts to forget what a breast is for. If I were the manager I would have been glad to tell the woman to breast feed the baby in the ladies room....but ONLY if the neanderthal who complained agreed to eat HER hamburger and fries in there too...and of course, make her CHILDREN eat in there as well. Oh...wait...did I say Neanderthal? SORRY....THEY knew what breasts were for and probably DIDN'T need to hide in a cave to feed their babies.

YES, you do NOT need to "whip it out" and put on a show for the world, but in my fifty plus years I have NEVER seen anyone do that. It is VERY easy to politely and with complete appropriate tact, put one's baby to the breast and feed it. That should be a WELCOMED activity ANYWHERE humans are. Period. I just think that with all the child abuse and poor parenting in the world now, the act of a compassionate mom feeding her baby the healthiest nutrition on earth (sorry...NO formula comes close...ask ANY nutritionist, OB Doctor or Neonatal nurse), it should be lauded as a GREAT thing.

(Can I get off my soap box now?)
11/10/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
As long it is done with some discretion I am fine with it. In the case were they just whip it out in a restaurant, no. Although I have never seen it done that way.
I have never seen anyone do it that way either. I have seen woman use very good discretion, where you didn't know they were feeding their baby unless you stared!!!
11/10/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I have no issue with breastfeeding in public, and it doesn't personally offend me, but I do think that unless there's a specific reason not to, there's no harm in using a blanket to try and cover up a little since there may be people ... more
They make blouses just for that..and they work better then a "blanket" for covering up a bit when feeding.
11/10/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Well in that case, I apologize, again, to anyone who is offended by my original post, mine and Dwtim's jokes, and any other word that may have offended anyone. My intention was not to offend or make any woman or any man feel bad about anything. I ... more
Gee whiz...are folks here that thin skinned??? Do we really need to "walk on eggshells" here now???? I see NOTHING offensive in your original post. Even if there was no "joke" it was a valid opinion. If we cannot be honest here...what is the point?
11/10/2011
Contributor: julia. julia.
I don't really mind. People can be discreet about it, though.
11/10/2011
Contributor: authorzero authorzero
I am in no way offended by breastfeeding, and don't really understand why some people are.
11/10/2011
Contributor: NavyDoll87 NavyDoll87
I breastfed both of my children and I was highly uneducated with my first born on how to do so in public. I never did because I was embarrassed and afraid someone would say something. Many times that left me very uncomfortable and feeling a ton of pain.
With my daughter, I knew a lot more and I fed when I wanted where I wanted because that was my natural right. I refused to use the bathroom because I don't eat in a bathroom, so why should my child?
Breastfeeding is natural. It isn't gross or rude. People who gawk and make snide remarks are rude. Long before formula, breast milk was the food of choice.
As for the comment about waiting to go out with your child after they've eaten, yeah, let me ask my newborn to hurry up and eat so I can get my errands done right away. It doesn't work that way.
I don't aim to please anyone when it comes to my natural rights.
I would rather not have a smoker around me because it's a disgusting habit (let me repeat, the habit..not the smoker), but I'm not about to tell them they can't do that in front of me. Why? Because it is their right....but that's a different topic.
11/10/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Kaltir
I understand that many women believe in solely breastfeeding, but a child doesn't have to eat 24/7. If you need to go to the store, etc, I think you should wait until your baby has fed. Not even so much because it can be found gross, or ... more
That's not always possible. The average newborn may nurse 12 or more times in a 24 hour period. That leaves most moms with no more than 2 hours (at the most) to get the baby dressed and into her coat, make sure the diaper bag is filled, get her purse, comb her hair, put on her shoes and coat, ooops baby just pooped, so change the diaper and the sleeper, then grab the diaper bag and purse again and get out the door... by that times some babies will need to nurse again.

And I have to debate you about the fact that "a child doesn't have to eat 24/7." Some do. My last baby was a preterm infant. She nursed an average of 25 times every 24 hours! Would you suggest I not have left the house for, oh, say, 3 or 4 months? I think I would have lost my mind. And NO I DO NOT "pump and put it in bottles." EVER! Read the rest of the thread to see why.

Nipple confusion is the single most common reason breastfeeding fails. What causes Nipple Confusion? Giving breastfed babies bottles. Some cannot even have ONE bottle, ever. Others can go back and forth. You don't know until it happens, and then there's the devil to pay to get the baby back on the breast, some babies never nurse again, and MoM never knows why. (And you hear, "But my sister in law's kids go back and forth between bottle and breast all the time." NEVER take the breastfeeding advice of one's sister in law, is one rule I've learned in decades as a Lactation Consultant.)

Also, there are antibodies and other constituents of human milk that are in larger supply when the milk is taken directly from the breast by a baby, rather than a pump. Pumped milk also has less fat in it. Of course, pumped milk is vastly superior to artificial milk, but some of us do not pump and "put it in bottles" for many reasons.

Nor do we want to remain home bound for months on end. So, we breastfeed in "public."
11/11/2011
Contributor: LilMissSub LilMissSub
It does not bother me as long as it's done discreetly. I do however mind the opinion of 'go to the bathroom if you're going to feed your child'. It is possible for it to be done without anyone noticing without really concentrating on the individual.

If you're just letting the girls hang out there, it does bug me a bit. I mean, I don't think it's gross, tits obviously don't bother me, but it's just kind of rude.

So yeah, I clicked other.

Edit: I also breast fed my son for a two months, the benefits even for that short while are very, very good. I will never understand it being 'disgusting' it's natural and human women are cleaner then cows and goats which most people -do- drink.

Also it's far healthier for it to be straight from the breast, it's the most sterile time for it, hence why milk we drink is heavily processed and if you intend on drinking raw milk you have to find it frozen.
11/11/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
Quote:
Originally posted by Kaltir
I understand that many women believe in solely breastfeeding, but a child doesn't have to eat 24/7. If you need to go to the store, etc, I think you should wait until your baby has fed. Not even so much because it can be found gross, or ... more
I'm not following what's so difficult to explain. 'Mummy, what's that lady doing? Is she suffocating that baby?'

'No, dear, only daddies get to be suffocated by mummies' breasts. Babies drink milk made in mummy's breasts, when they're hungry.'

'Oh ... Mummy?'

'Yes, whelp?'

'I'm hungry. Can I have a drink from that lady's boobs?'
11/12/2011
Contributor: Mistress Jezebel Mistress Jezebel
I think people need to take into consideration there are children in places such as McDonalds, they can go to their cars if it's necessary. Or use a 'milker' and extract the milk beforehand to feed their kids at the store.
11/12/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress Jezebel
I think people need to take into consideration there are children in places such as McDonalds, they can go to their cars if it's necessary. Or use a 'milker' and extract the milk beforehand to feed their kids at the store.
I think the reason that many women, myself included do NOT use breast pumps (they aren't called "milkers") has been made clear by about 20 posts.

Please educate yourself and Google "Nipple Confusion" and read the 10+ posts I have posted about the smaller amount of fat and nutrients in pumped milk (although even then, it's more nutritious than anything from a can) and the fact that MANY babies simply cannot take bottles and go back to the breast. Then, before you disrespect the most optimal way to feed a small child, educate yourself here, at the La Leche League website, and at Ask Dr. Sears as well as Kellymom website on breastfeeding . The more you know....

QUOTE "There are children in places such as McDonalds"???? Yes, children should know what breastfeeding IS. If they don't their parents are being negligent. That's how babies are SUPPOSED to be fed! There is simply no rational argument against that fact.

Not only did my kids know what breastfeeding was, ("Look, Mama, that baby is getting Nummie!") but they all remember being breastfed themselves.

I don't want to eat my lunch in a car, nor do I want to feed my babies in one; it's cold in the winter and hot in the summer. And it isolates both the mother and the baby from the social experience of having a meal with friends and family.
11/12/2011
Contributor: SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
I personally think it's a beautiful thing to see a mother and child connect like that. I do, however, believe she should try to be polite and use a blanket or something so she doesn't offend people like yourself.

It also depends on the age of the child. I have a cousin who would openly breast feed her 6 year old boy in public and that disgusted me a little.
11/12/2011