Sadly, my health is pretty shitty. It has prevented me from working in my profession adequately, and probably has threatened my relationship at times. I know My Man would get really frustrated when we were dating and early married, when a severe migraine or IBS attack would lay me low for days at a time.
He has matured and realizes I have no control over surges in bad health. It took a while, but he was willing to work on it, and for my part, I stopped complaining so much. I think I did tend to complain a LOT and had kind of a FML attitude. Changing doctors, trying different therapies, and working on our relationship helps. Years later, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which further limits not only my activities, but my ability to bring in money to the household.
The recession has hit us hard. Really really hard. Our house is worth HALF of what it was worth only 3 or 4 years ago, and we can no longer borrow against it, My Man has not gotten a raise (no one at his employer has except the VPs and the CEO) in nearly 5 years. My health prevents me from working long hours in my field, and most part time jobs want to hire 22 year old girls and won't even LOOK at a woman my age with my education. They figure anyone with lots of education will just move on when the economy gets better, so I'm looked over and ignored for jobs that I can certainly do, but I am overqualified for. Jobs are nearly impossible to come by, my home business is nearly in ruins, but we just keep at it.
I also had to eliminate dozens of foods from my diet, from ALL dairy products (it took a month to see any improvement and a year to see great improvement, but dairy is the worst offender for my IBS) too much fiber (I don't care what they say, I can't eat the stuff in any quantity) and things I am allergic to, like shellfish, peanuts, corn, and about 1000 other things. Giving up favorite foods sucks, but when it finally gets out of your body (it could take months for all the offending proteins to leave your body totally) you do feel better. I'd as likely eat most dairy again as I would swallow a cyanide capsule. But, it took MONTHS of complete abstinence from it to make any difference.
We decided to treat the IBS with a lot of humor. My Man has more diarhea jokes than anyone I know!
I also found that many of the meds to prevent pain from the migraines have eased the IBS symptoms, after about 12 different antidepressants were tried, we found one that worked to decrease both IBS and migraine symptoms. But, it took years to find that drug, along with a cocktail of other meds to keep me upright, out of bed and at least reduce the pain somewhat.
I spent up to 6 months in bed (and not supposed to be having sex, but we did, gently) with each of my term pregnancies and up to a week out of commission with each miscarriage. It was rough on our relationship, but we just keep at it. It's worth working at, but both of us are committed.
Life sucks sometimes, but we have found approaching even bad health with a LOT of humor helps. I also get a lot of UTIs and we have taken to calling them "Pee Hole Spiders" (after the viral video) and that helps a lot.
Some of us have shitty health. You have to make what you can of it, and continued persistence with your HCPs and humor are the best things we have found to help us stay sane.
Plus, I knew if My Man loved me enough for me to want to keep him around, he'd have to learn to live with my crappy health. Of course, I changed MY attitude too. He knows when I am sick, just by looking at me, and I don't talk about it much, except to make jokes, occasionally. We proved our love to each other by BOTH changing.