Has an illness ever threatened your relationship with your significant other?

Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Congratulations to CPTinsanity for being able to overcome this illness and for your successful surgeries.

P'Gell and kinky girlfriend, my heart really does go out to both of you. I do not have a personal experience with this but I can ... more
Thanks Owl, and Antipova and KG and every body else. I AM OK. Everybody has struggles. But, thanks.

It's an ongoing work. We have to work at it every day. I try to keep my mind on my kids, my clients, Eden helps, and living with it for years makes me know I can get through it.

I was in my neuro's office once, and there was a girl, only about 16. She was in a wheelchair, and her muscles didn't work and her eyes were closed, and evidently she had some muscular wasting disease. I thought she was totally out of it, as her eyes were closed, and I had my kids with me, including my youngest who was a baby then. I hear her say, quietly to her mom, "Mom, is that a baby? OMG, I love babies, Can she come over here so I can touch her?" I brought the baby over and she struggled to open her eyes, her mom asked and then put the girl's hand on my baby's little hand. Then my baby smiled at her and my kids talked to her, and I went home thinking, "OK, things can get shitty for me. But, I can usually (not always but usually) walk, I can open my eyes, if the pain isn't too bad. I am not in a wheelchair, and I can get myself around and do at least some, but not all the things I want. That girl is dealing with 10000 times more than I am, and she's putting on a brave face. I have to work harder." So, I am still trying.

This is a totally true story. I never saw that girl again, but she made such an impression on me. The FML attitude I had been fighting to rid myself of had met its match that day.
06/16/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by missthing
Because I have Celiac disease, I have to be on a Gluten Free diet. This really eliminates a ton of everyday foods. My fiance refuses to eat any of my gluten free foods and insists on making a sometimes entirely different meal. Maybe I'm being ... more
yes I have although I'm going to go on a grain free diet saves money and apparently you feel better as well theres a book I want to get called No grain diet by Dr.Mercola
06/16/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
My deceased spouse suffered from mental illness. The worst part of it was that she did not believe there was anything wrong with her. I tried so damn hard to get her help. But I'll never be free of feeling that if I were just a little bit smarter or more tenacious I could have found a way to get her to agree to treatment.
06/16/2011
Contributor: Valentinka Valentinka
This post is pretty old, so I hope things are getting better for you already! I just wanted to share something as well. Maybe that would be helpful.

About half a year ago I found a lump in my left breast. At that point we didn't know yet if it was simply a fibroadenoma or something way more serious. I asked my boyfriend what if I had cancer, would he leave me or stay and help me fight it. His answer way pretty simple. If you love someone, you can cope with almost anything. But if an ill person starts to fall into depression, blame everyone around, cry all the time, complain too much or show other negative behavior - that's what makes it unbearable.

Everything turned out fine for me, even though I had to overcome a small surgery. Unfortunately due to a huge amount of stress I was acting way too weird and it played a huge role in our relationship crisis, which - luckily - we happened to overcome.

So I was wondering... maybe the way you are expressing your emotions is too much for your guy? I'm not defending him, because I believe that there are always two sides of a conflict to have a responsibility. But anyway - crying on the floor in front of your partner is not a very wise thing to do. Surely, everything happens sometimes, but not on a regular basis. Especially, when it's not because of pain, but due to some inner personal reasons, sometimes unexplainable and unclear to the other person and thus often seen as some kind of manipulation or even attack. His rather disappointing words might not really mean what they seem too, and probably he's not frustrated by your inability to go out with him, but by your negative emotions, which might be just overwhelming for him. No one needs a relationship which brings only bad, negative stuff with it. Even if/when you find someone else (someone more compatible with you or maybe more understanding), the best thing to do is not to let negative emotions evolve because of your illness. People sometimes deal with much more serious stuff and yet stay positive and optimistic. That's the best thing for both you and your relationships.

I hate saying these things, because I know how easily offended a person in your situation can be and how important and sensitive this topic is. I wish you all the best and really hope everything improves very soon (if not already)
10/01/2011