My boyfriend is a very social person whereas I like my down time.So he keeps dragging me all over the place like a freakin cheerleader on steroids.I'm about to go nuts.How do you get away from your boytoy without making him feel bad?
How the hell do you get away from the hubby?
09/25/2011
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I can relate, My wife is like saran wrap, very clingy. I've yet to figure this out. I'm interested in hearing suggestions.
Originally posted by
Defi Enyo
My boyfriend is a very social person whereas I like my down time.So he keeps dragging me all over the place like a freakin cheerleader on steroids.I'm about to go nuts.How do you get away from your boytoy without making him feel bad?
09/25/2011
Sorry, I can't be of more assistance on this one. My husband and I are very happy being homebodies for the majority of the week. We enjoy doing even the most mundane things together; however, if I feel like going somewhere and he doesn't, he will just say, "Have a good time!" and I go without him.
09/25/2011
"Have fun. I'm staying home tonight."
Communication is the answer.
Communication is the answer.
09/25/2011
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My hubby does this stuff too. He works a lot (military) so it's not always going to happen often, but there are those weeks when he's off completely and he's dragging me to and from football/hockey games or friend's houses. I, like you, need my down time. Yes, I'm social, but I still need that down time.
Originally posted by
Defi Enyo
My boyfriend is a very social person whereas I like my down time.So he keeps dragging me all over the place like a freakin cheerleader on steroids.I'm about to go nuts.How do you get away from your boytoy without making him feel bad?
I just tell him straight up that I don't want to go. The very first time I said this it sounded rude, but then I said "It's not because I don't want to hang out, I'm just exhausted. I'd like to stay at home today and rest." and ever since that day I can easily say I don't want to go.
09/25/2011
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That's exactly the words I use half the time! He gets it by now. But we're actually married so that most likely has something to do with it. Hun he'll get the message after a while. Just make him understand that you have a private life as well. Not EVERYTHING has to be shared.
Originally posted by
Silverdrop
"Have fun. I'm staying home tonight."
Communication is the answer.
Communication is the answer.
I hate saying this but maybe you could say you aren't feeling good, or that you have a date with some girl friends?
09/25/2011
My partner knows I'm antisocial and require schedules and three days notice when it comes to interacting with people.
As far as getting time in general, I tell him to bugger off. Yes, using those words.
As far as getting time in general, I tell him to bugger off. Yes, using those words.
09/25/2011
First, read this little essay to empower yourself.
Don't read it to him, though, because it's kind of accusatory. It does a better job of making introverts proud of themselves than it does making extroverts understand.
But then, like Silverdrop says, tell him "I'd like to stay in and bake a pie on Tuesday. You can still go out if you want to" (of if you're not into baking, some other at-home activity that's not just watching tv, but does suit your personal interests). When he asks why, or at another time when it's appropriate, have a conversation about needing time to recharge after social events, and say you haven't been getting enough 'quiet time' lately, so you want to start scheduling some for yourself. Let him know it doesn't need to interfere with his plans, though. Make compromises, you'll make it work
Don't read it to him, though, because it's kind of accusatory. It does a better job of making introverts proud of themselves than it does making extroverts understand.
But then, like Silverdrop says, tell him "I'd like to stay in and bake a pie on Tuesday. You can still go out if you want to" (of if you're not into baking, some other at-home activity that's not just watching tv, but does suit your personal interests). When he asks why, or at another time when it's appropriate, have a conversation about needing time to recharge after social events, and say you haven't been getting enough 'quiet time' lately, so you want to start scheduling some for yourself. Let him know it doesn't need to interfere with his plans, though. Make compromises, you'll make it work
09/25/2011
My husband works way too much to even be home, forget about going out.
There is the occasional time he'll want to take a night/morning off and go out. Most of the time I'd rather not, but knowing he doesn't do it often, I just go along with it.
There is the occasional time he'll want to take a night/morning off and go out. Most of the time I'd rather not, but knowing he doesn't do it often, I just go along with it.
09/25/2011
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As usual, I was going to write just about what Redboxbaby said.
Originally posted by
Redboxbaby
Sorry, I can't be of more assistance on this one. My husband and I are very happy being homebodies for the majority of the week. We enjoy doing even the most mundane things together; however, if I feel like going somewhere and he doesn't,
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Sorry, I can't be of more assistance on this one. My husband and I are very happy being homebodies for the majority of the week. We enjoy doing even the most mundane things together; however, if I feel like going somewhere and he doesn't, he will just say, "Have a good time!" and I go without him.
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My Man and I try to spend a lot of time together. If he's watching a football game, he may have some friends (or actually A friend) over and I might sit when them for a while. I like male company. Sometimes he goes outside to have a bonfire, and I'm not crazy about doing this (so many times and I end up smelling like rotten wood.)
One of the things I do without him is go to the library. He isn't a reader, so I go with my kids or by myself.
We don't go to a LOT of parties anymore, but we used to. My teens and 20s were pretty social. I've kind of burnt out on that, though, but he did before I did.
Can you maybe just talk to him and let him know you need some downtime? Some people need more than others. Luckily, My Man and I both need it, so it works out.
09/25/2011
+1 for communication.
Explain that you need some down time and that you love going out with him, but it's getting overwhelming and you need some time to relax. Maybe invite him over sometime for a relaxing night watching a movie.
Explain that you need some down time and that you love going out with him, but it's getting overwhelming and you need some time to relax. Maybe invite him over sometime for a relaxing night watching a movie.
09/25/2011
I tell him to leave me alone. x_x
09/25/2011
I had to divorce mine - there's no reasoning with someone who is a codependent child, even after ten years of trying to do so.
Tell your man outright that you need 'you time' and he must respect that.
Tell your man outright that you need 'you time' and he must respect that.
09/25/2011
you just have to sit down and have an adult conversation about it. That is the only way to figure it out.
09/27/2011
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Totally agree. Communication is key to everything in a relationship. Fortunately, we don't really have this problem as we are both major homebodies, and just enjoy doing nothing together. But with 2 different level energy people you just have to communicate and make compromises. Maybe you could make an arrangement where you go out 1 weekend and stay home the next. Whatever works for you, it isn't about "getting away" from them - if you really want or need to get away from him maybe you should consider breaking up - it's more about both of you getting what you need/want out of the relationship.
Originally posted by
Silverdrop
"Have fun. I'm staying home tonight."
Communication is the answer.
Communication is the answer.
09/27/2011
I am glad that we are both home bodies. However when he wants to go somewhere and I do not. Oh I think I have a headache or upset stomach. If he goes anyway so be it I do not have to fake whatever I said. You do need to talk though. You need to tell him, don't you like to just be home once in awhile.
09/27/2011
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Same situation, same solution.
Originally posted by
Chilipepper
I had to divorce mine - there's no reasoning with someone who is a codependent child, even after ten years of trying to do so.
Tell your man outright that you need 'you time' and he must respect that.
Tell your man outright that you need 'you time' and he must respect that.
09/27/2011
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Just be honest with them
Originally posted by
Defi Enyo
My boyfriend is a very social person whereas I like my down time.So he keeps dragging me all over the place like a freakin cheerleader on steroids.I'm about to go nuts.How do you get away from your boytoy without making him feel bad?
09/27/2011
Just tell them. He's a homebody, and I like to go out. When there's something to do, I tend to go to weddings, fairs, parades, etc. by myself, but that's ok with me.
09/27/2011
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 18