How to deal with a mouthy *almost* 7 year old?

Contributor: Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
My *almost* 7 year old niece is BEYOND mouthy... She's been mouthy for a couple years now and it just seems like it's getting worse! She talks back and is very rude. When she's mad, she'll scream at the top of her lungs, run through the house, and slam a door..Then she'll bang on a wall. She also kicks or hits my dogs. ...Today, she asked me if I looked at my dresser, which I had just painted gray a couple months ago. I said "no, why?"... She giggled... I looked.. She had scraped some of the gray off! I asked if she did it.. She nodded & laughed.. She found it hilarious. Seeing me mad, made her even more pleased with what she had done. She asked me "what are you going to do?? Arrest me??".. I'm just wondering... Is it normal for a child at her age to be so mouthy & rude?? How would you deal with it?
04/07/2013
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Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I suspect she has ADHD Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, tell her parents to have her tested as soon as possible.
04/07/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
Rossie's advice sounds really good. It's definitely NOT normal for a kid that age to be so out of control. I would tell her parents what you've just told us and ask if they've investigated ADHD.
04/07/2013
Contributor: PassionCpl PassionCpl
No, that's not normal but it's not 'out of the norm' these days either. It's worth the ADHD test but I'm not so sure it's that. If it was, she probably wouldn't care whether it upset you and almost certainly wouldn't be provoking you for a reaction - she'd be more likely to just do it and not care about the consequences.

Speaking of consequences, I think that might be part of the problem. Kids need structure and need to know early on that there are rules that apply to them. If their parents tell her that they'll do 'y' if she does 'x' then they need to back it up and do it. Whether that's taking TV away, going to bed 30 minutes earlier, whatever. Telling kids there's a consequence then not following it up is tantamount to giving carte blanche to do what they want. Of course, if the parents are turning a blind eye to what their child's doing then that's a big part of the problem too.

Finally, is she getting positive attention from her parents or anyone else around her? It could be just as simple as her not getting attention elsewhere and this is the only way she can get some. It certainly doesn't make what she's doing right, but might go some way towards explaining it.

Good luck!
04/07/2013