I just need to ramble a bit....

Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
Some may have noticed (although I find it rather unlikely) that I haven't been around much lately. Although my two long-term partners and two fuck buddies and discovery of Reddit have something to do with that, it's mostly due to my having recently come out as an atheist to my family.

Even though I'm used to hiding things from them about myself, I now feel like I've lost a bit of the kinship that I had with them. Even though I definitely haven't been disowned or mistreated for it, I feel like they now tiptoe around me and avoid talking about "important" things when I'm present. I've always carried the label of the artistic free spirit in my family, but they apparently thought that I maintained my god-fearing, conservative outlook on life despite this and my silence during conversations that concerned such things.

It's really frustrating that I'm suddenly being treated differently for having the knowledge and opinions I've held dear for the last 6+ years, and I'm trying to find a way to form some sort of outreach program to others like myself around here (Mississippi doesn't have a particularly large non-theist population), especially young people who are doubting their faith and need someone who will actually talk to them like they're actual (sane and intelligent) people.

Or maybe establish some sort of science conference thingy to teach people about evolution, because I sure as hell don't remember learning about it in school...and it's obvious that a lot of people around here are not aware of what this theory actually entails...

Wow....I think I'm finished already. That wasn't a very long ramble at all!
05/12/2013
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Contributor: js250 js250
I am sorry about the awkwardness you and your family are feeling about your belief differences. This will eventually dissipate as you each get to re-know each other. What my daughter told me when we were going through this a few years ago was that she is still my daughter, the person that loves me no matter what the differences are in our beliefs and that we need to work through the tiptoeing around each other. We are both adults and can actually handle listening to each other's conversations on the beliefs and such--as long as it remains as it was normally and is not intended as a means to change the other person.

She was right, we respected each other enough to work through the issues and continue our strong, loving relationship...but it took time for both of us to come to terms with our differences--real and imagined.

I think a support group and gathering literature for others is a wonderful way to approach your differences. Just make sure you are doing this for the right reasons, not as a conversion or statement. I really empathize, if there is anything I can do or if you have questions, need to vent--just message me!! Big hugs and best wishes!!!
05/12/2013
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by WhoopieDoo
Some may have noticed (although I find it rather unlikely) that I haven't been around much lately. Although my two long-term partners and two fuck buddies and discovery of Reddit have something to do with that, it's mostly due to my having ... more
Wow, that was a big step! I think you will eventually see them get over it to a degree, but the fact they didn't disown you should give you hope. They just had their foundation shaken, they thought they knew everything about you & need time to sort through that. I have a feeling they are not discussing some things in front of you because they don't want to offend you with topics about religion? They'll eventually loosen up about that mostly because you will still be treating them the same. If I think about it, religion doesn't really come up all that often when I talk with my family as if they have just dismissed in their head anything about me saying I'm agnostic! I don't care if they spout whatever they want as long as it's not a conversion lecture. I can only guess, but I think your family will soon push this to the back of their minds, even the ones who can't accept it & may think you are just "confused". ;-) I definitely noticed you weren't around as much, just saying! I think your idea for outreach is a good form of therapy & a really cool idea to help others who may be questioning. It sounds like you will be filling a void & at the same time being able to talk to others about what you believe, because you can't do that right now with your family. I don't know why so many people from religious backgrounds think it normal for them to all talk about God, but that an atheist wouldn't want to talk with other like-minded people. They always seem to think the atheists are trying to convert everyone, but it's okay for them to convert people! I just worry about the physical peril if you are targeted because of whatever outreach you establish. I would just think long & hard about that kind of thing before starting. I am NOT trying to discourage you! It's just something I felt needed to be said given what you've said about where you live. Well, I guess I can't say I'll pray for you, ha ha! (I'm just teasing & hope you don't get offended by that!) How about, you are in my thoughts? I wish you well? Yeah, that last one is a keeper. I am really glad you didn't get the reaction you feared from telling them, (you mentioned it before).
05/12/2013
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
That's rough. I can't really say that I understand because I live in CA where it is much less strange to not believe in a Christian God. I imagine that it may just take time to sink in a bit and blow over. I don't know the specifics, but sometimes people just need time to get over things.
05/13/2013