Is it better to ASK a Significant Other what they want for a gift, or just GUESS you know them well enough to pick?

Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Does it make it "less romantic" to actually ASK what they might want or need, if you are blank for good ideas? (or do you just "chance it" and get something you think is a nice gift?)
12/28/2011
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Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Depends on the people involved. My husband does not have to ask, because he nearly always gets something I'd actually want. However, I've been with numerous people who I WISH WOULD ASK, because they always would get something I had no interest in. I'm not sure if it's that they honestly thought I'd like it or they just didn't think at all. I try to always get a gift someone will actually like and use depending on their interests and proclivities at the time.
12/28/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Guess most of the time, but ask if stumped.
12/28/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
It's not less romantic to talk about specific things you'd like for a gift. I don't think it's fair to expect someone to automatically be able to read your mind. Generally, you know each other well enough to have a pretty good idea (hopefully, lol) but I don't see any problem with talking about things more specifically. Better to talk about it and be able to get them something they LOVE than just guess and get them something they aren't crazy about.
12/28/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I don't ask, but I make a mental note whenever I hear him mention he wants something. His Christmas gift was something he said he'd like to have back in the summer. He didn't even remember telling me about it, but was happy that I had remembered.

He does the same thing for me, but he says the problem is that I say I want too many things. Half of them are things that I think are kind of neat but don't REALLY want, so then he has to try to figure out what things I would actually love to have.
12/28/2011
Contributor: Subbi Subbi
I know my fiance well enough to just get something and he always loves it. Like for his birthday, I bought him a computer cause his was done for. He was really excited!
12/28/2011
Contributor: T&A1987 T&A1987
it depends on the person. if s/he is really persnickety and demands only the best gift, asking might be the best option. a more laid back person allows for flexibility when giving gifts. there's also the matter of how well you know that person. if gift giving is a mystery regardless f their personality, it's better to ask, if you can determine some they might like, then only ask if they are persnickety.
12/28/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I'm not a mind reader. I need to ask what someone wants for a gift or I will buy the wrong thing (by accident). I have no idea why it works out that way, but it does. I'm a people pleaser by nature, so I do what I need to do make sure the receiver is absolutely happy.
12/30/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
I should hope I know them well enough to pick a present that they would like. But I might ask for a general category of things to point me in the right direction.
12/30/2011
Contributor: voenne voenne
I like to ask, but if I've made a general observation of them needing a particular something without having to ask, then I get that. I personally like surprises, so I enjoy surprising people in return, especially when it's a thoughtful and practical item.
12/30/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
I guess.. just because I know my partner pretty well and know what he likes : )
12/30/2011
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Asking if not less romantic in any way. WTF.
12/30/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Not at all! At least you'll know you'll be getting something they want. My partner and I ask each other every year. It doesn't ruin it. We usually start asking months before Christmas or our B-days and then keep it a secret that way it's still a surprise. We actually go to great lengths to keep it secret. I had a real chaotic time shoving him in wal mart while I drove to Game Stop a few weeks ago. Even with asking him what he wanted, he still had no clue. Just tell them to give you a few things they want so that way they don't know for sure which you'll choose to give. Works for us. He got me a Kindle Fire and couldn't wait so gave it to me early this year, but he did surprise the heck outta me on Christmas day with some zebra print heels!

I tend to think it's better to just ask.
12/30/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
I have never had to ask. Either she drops enough hints, or I just listened to her say she wanted something 5 months prior. She asks me all the time what I want. Not sure why. Maybe because if I want something, I just go buy it. But I give her enough hints. But there is nothing wrong with asking. You want to get them something they really want. You can always add on to the item they say they want, add something extra and make it over the top.
12/30/2011
Contributor: shcoo shcoo
I do both. Even if they ask for something expensive, I'll throw in something else smaller that I just think they would enjoy. Or if they don't tell me anything, I get them three or four small things I think they'll like.
12/30/2011
Contributor: KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Does it make it "less romantic" to actually ASK what they might want or need, if you are blank for good ideas? (or do you just "chance it" and get something you think is a nice gift?)
Asking for a few little hints to steer you in the right direction is probably best unless you have some showstopper of a romantic gift planned.
^_^
12/30/2011