When I lost my great grandma. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, but thinking about all the wonderful memories she gave me, makes me smile. So for my, losing my grandma made me both smile and cry.

I'm so glad to hear you are safe & secure in your own place! The worry about where you are going to stay is such a primal concern, I don't think others really think about how devastating that can be on a person's psyche! You're very life is at stake if you can't be somewhere safe. How can someone be expected to focus on the rest of their needs when such a basic one isn't met? You can get food more easily than shelter! Worse comes to worse, you can walk into a police station & say you are starving & someone will take you to a place to get food, but shelter? Good luck with that! No one wants to be bothered & if there is a shelter, for women it's often more dangerous than going on their own. Thanks for sharing that!

I never expected an answer that covered both! I expected people would have enough trouble coming up with either, or, but you surprised me! Thanks for answering my discussion, I was afraid no one would bother with one that is more thought provoking than a multiple choice poll. (Don't get me wrong, I like those as much as everyone else!) You are fortunate to have known & had a relationship with your great grandmother!

There are food banks and stuff but if you think about truly homeless people, they're gonna need a can opener and possibly a way to cook stuff. I wasn't that bad off but things were still hard. There are no homeless shelters in my county! If the police catch you sleeping somewhere that is trespassing, they would drive you to a homeless shelter a county away. Being homeless and in an unfamiliar place is bad. I never tried to do that because I have my psychiatric and medical doctors in this county. Since they do have no homeless shelters, after I got kicked out of my other temporary place, I had a motel room paid for me for like 3 weeks and then went couch surfing after that time was up.

The shithole motel happened to be right behind the seediest nightclub in town and there were always drunk rednecks outside yelling at 3am. I never opened my door for anyone I didn't know while I was staying there and always had the blinds closed.

Wow, that makes for some amazing life experience! You are a very strong woman for having gotten through that. Yes, yes, I know there's worse, but there's ALWAYS worse. The good part is that at least you now appreciate those basics, like having a permanent home, even more. I know the hard things I've been through in my life have made the good things better!

WW, it sounds like someone is familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs!

Wow, that is some turning point! But, no doubt, you are better off for that struggle & decision to turn in a direction better suited to your needs & happiness. I see in your profile that you identify as gay, so I am guessing maybe you are with that same female? (It's not my business & I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable by asking!) It would just be a happy ending kind of thing, if it were true. But, as long as you are happier now, than when married, that's all that matters. I'm just nosy!

I'm just so impressed with some of the things I've found out about members who have gone through so much, things I haven't & probably will never experience. You just never know, do you, until you ask a question like this discussion and then someone surprises you with their candor! I already knew I get on well with you & sunflower because I like what comments I've read before, but then I find out more & it makes the appreciation even stronger, you know? Oh, well, maybe no one knows what I mean because I've been up for hours & had a few too many muscle relaxants, so don't expect me to be particularly articulate, sorry!

I really wish I could take credit for knowing about Maslow, but I just do not like to lie, it's too hard to keep track of what you say & to whom, I don't need the complications! Anyway, I had to look up his Hierarchy of Needs & found it very interesting. Naturally, I read the critiques, as well, but, in academia, so many are apt to throw out the baby with the bathwater - he did a good job! You gave me more credit than I deserve & I admit to wanting to take it, ha ha. I guess the reason his work is popular is because it makes a lot of common sense! I'm flattered you thought I knew more than I really do, thanks for making me feel kinda smart

Good for you for getting it! Boy, that is some kind of patience & deliberation you have! I know Ryuson waits something like 2 years before getting inked, but you are a marvel of self restraint!

When I married my Master and began a TPE (Total power exchange) relationship with Him in 2004. It makes me smile and cry with happiness. It was a very special day in my life.

Damn! That sounds like something you'd see in a grand romantic movie on the silver screen! You'd think, "Isn't that nice, too bad nothing like that ever happens in real life." What a grand gesture, hell, now I'm kinda in love with him, too!

Hey, share all the turning point stories you want, it's MY discussion after all & I love it! Besides, I'd rather cry at the touching, happy stuff than the depressing, miserable rest of life!

You can always ask! I have the choice of whether to answer or not, you know. The answer is no--I am not still with her. We actually weren't involved in a romantic way for too long, because I needed time to be single and independent, and get back in touch with myself, while she wanted to jump into a relationship right away (she had never really been single, always jumping from one relationship to another). I dated both men and women for around six months, before realizing that I much preferred women. After dating more women, I wound up in a relationship with a very emotionally abusive woman who turned out to be schizophrenic. That was quite the ordeal, to say the least. Talk about some life experience! So, then another relationship with a wonderful woman who had issues with depression and repression--we literally never fought, because (as I later learned) any time she disagreed or got upset with me, she just kept it to herself. She broke my heart pretty good, and then I started dating my current partner, who was also recovering from heartbreak, about two years ago. We took our time, were friends/dated for months and waited to have sex. I had thought, at first, that we would have fun together for a while and then be just friends, but boy was I surprised!

This was a great discussion question, WW. What made you think of it?

Well, if you thought of the fact that people have great difficulty focusing on things like finding employment when the basic needs of life are uncertain, then you're more than "kinda smart". And yes, sometimes people have such a hard time separating baby and bathwater! I've learned about a lot of psychological theories, and most of them have a good amount of useful, relevant information and insight for us, even when they aren't 100% on the money. They often work well in tandem with each other, too. One of my favorites is Erikson's Psychosocial Stages--I wrote a paper on the stage that my mom is about to leave and I'm about to enter, Middle Adulthood, for a class last semester. It's a very helpful way to look at life, in my opinion.

Thank you for the compliment! I looked at the link, thanks. I didn't study the same area(s) of psychology as you, I did psychobiology because I just had to know the biological basis of the behaviors, (less of the guess work & philosophy I don't do so well with, ha ha). The nice thing about psychology, to me, is it's personal application & that it doesn't require learning another "language", like math or chemistry, you know what I mean? Sure, you need to learn things you don't know, but at least most could read the link you gave & understand some of it, as opposed to understanding some of the advanced physics stuff.

I'm so glad you have a safe play to stay. Blessings.

Thanks for always leaving such great answers on my discussions! I can count on several people to always say something interesting & you are one of them, for sure. I really like how you have so many & list them right off the top of your head; you're very mindful of all those times & I think that's great!

It's a bit of a story, but when I was 4 months pregnant, I left my baby's father. I lived with my mom until my daughter was 6 months old. Even though my mother actually didn't help all that much, when I finally moved into my own apartment, it was one of those moments. The thought that I was truly alone with this child was so overwhelming, yet I was glad to be independent again. Now, my tot is 3, and she commonly says, "Just you and me, mom!" Yep.

I don't know why I find this answer so touching other than it's from a Father's perspective & I don't usually hear them talk about this topic. It's just sweet that you missed her so much. I always hear the Mom's bemoan the change, but I don't recall ever hearing a Father talk about it, though I have no doubt other's have.

@ ViVix: Congrats on being a strong woman & doing what you needed to do despite any fears - leaving the Father, moving out on your own with a new baby. It sounds like your daughter & you already have a deep bond & that must make it all worthwhile!