40 Percent of Women Report Sexual Problems, Most Don't Care

Amen! And thank goodness for men who understand that hormones ARE involved. When a woman can't get going, it's not always because she's not trying hard enough, or he's not good enough, or she doesn't love him, or that she's "frigid." Sometimes it's a medical issue, a matter of hormones.

My better half knew that it was my medication that killed my sex drive, even before I knew I'd lost it. And he didn't say a word until I figured it out, because he didn't want me to stress about it. He just cuddled me when we should have been all over each other, and never complained.

Having been there myself, perhaps I can shed a little bit of light on this statistic. When the issue is, as with giggled, a loss of sex drive, sometimes the desire to HAVE a sex drive goes with it. And sometimes it's a gradual, insidious loss, over the course of months, and you never notice until one day you turn around and realize that you haven't wanted sex in months. I all but stopped masturbating, I often pretended to be asleep when he tried to initiate foreplay, I actively avoided situations where we'd have enough privacy to have sex, and finally came to dread physical intimacy! If he was persistent and kept trying to get me going, the motor would finally turn on, and I could still thoroughly enjoy sex and have amazing orgasms. I had an inkling that something was wrong, but because of the way my sex drive had been messed up, I didn't care that it was a problem. Thankfully, I later woke up to the fact that something was seriously wrong, and switched off of the medication that was causing most of the problems.

But it's a very real issue that often, when the sex drive slips away, even sexually knowledgeable people fail to see it as an issue. Strange as the logic sounds, the thought process (if and when there is one) is often "If I don't want it, why should I WANT to want it?" and "If it's so great, but I don't want it, there's probably a good reason."

There's so much work being done on issues like Erectile Disfunction, and so little being done on fixing a broken libido. There are so many people, men and women, whose sex drives are dead or dying, whether or not it's due to medications; I'd like to see some research being done to give people back their sex drives. Not a magic pill that will make you have sex with the closest willing partner, as some people suggest this might turn out to be, but something that lets you want to have sex again, lets you experience desire without first jumping through proverbial hoops of foreplay fire.

I don't know if not having an orgasm is a sexual problem if it doesn't bother you. I mean, I would be bothered if I had trouble orgasming, but I know a woman who NEVER orgasms during sex, but still enjoys it. I can still find sex incredibly pleasurable without an orgasm, provided it doesn't become an every day occurrence.

You say your husband doesn't offer you any foreplay in return...could you talk to him about this? Most people enjoy seeing their partners having a good time; it makes them feel good and heightens their own arousal. Are you comfortable with touching yourself during sex? Or perhaps immersing yourself in a kink to heighten your own enjoyment of the act?

I have talked to my husband about forplay several times. He will do foreplay the following time we have sex after the conversation and then its back to normal. I do enjoy sex with out an orgasm, but I hear how wonderful they are, and I'd like to be able to expierence what so many women brag about. I guess this is one of those curiousity killed the cat situations, except I'm hoping it don't kill me, lol. I feel fine playing with myself during sex, but to be honest I don't think I've got the hang of it. I use to feel uncomfortable with that, but one day I figured what the hell. So I'm still a beginner in that situation too. Sometimes my clit is extremely sinsative and others its like I'm not even touching it, when I'm know I am. I'm not sure. My body confusses me to be honest, and now that I'm thinking about it I don't see how my husband could if I can't. Another factor I'm wondering if it contributes to not having an orgasm is that my hubby doesn't last very long when he goes how I like it hard and rough, if goes slow and steady (which I've heard wins the race) he lasts much longer, but I don't enjoy it as much. See I'm so confused.

being some one what has never had an orgasm I can understand how frustraiting it can be. I feel sex is over raited just because I don't have the feelings down there that I always hear about. It was not till after my hystroctemy (sorry bad spelling), That I had decided to experiment. I have had 2 kids and yes i have medical issues, but untill I discover something that works for their is nothing I can do about it. The drs don't know what to do because mens sexual issues are more important. Their are no studys out there about women with sd(my term for Sexual disfunction) you know like ED for men.
Also being from a family that would teach us as young girls that sex it bad and that you do not touch your self, that makes you a bad girl. And we don't want to be a bad girl.
Also many women are taught that they don't have a choice about sex. That you should never deniy your spouse or significant other you. That means you shoudl never deny them sex even if you don't want to have sex. You would be amazed how many to this day are still told that. I hear it more than not and like I tell people it is my body NOT YOURS!!

I totally agree - one thing I find myself telling pregnant friends and family members is that they need to make sure to read and ask about the reality of postpartum effects in general. I think that aspect of pregnancy is far too often glazed over quickly and leaves the couple unprepared for the reality. That was most definitely my experience.

I absolutely agree. Sexual pleasure is something found together. It shouldn't be like a chore or favor like taking out the garbage if you do the grocery shopping. It's supposed to be an intimate experience not a give and take game.

I've read "studies" that say there's no such thing as G-spot orgasm. It's pee. Of course these were men's opinions on women's bodies which really pisses me off. If we say we orgasm then damnit, we orgasm! We know the diff. Sorry, I'm beginning to rant...

Anyways, yes I find this is a little ridiculous. I am so sorry to hear that you had to suffer like that though Glad things are better!

I'd be really unhappy if I cannot have orgasm.