How much sex education is enough for our children in the school setting.

I think that this is a bad way to do it. Think about a situation with a strict religious or even moral code which demands rigid heterosexual standards, abstinence etc. These children will have no idea how to deal with situations when they arise other than what they learn from their totally clueless friends. There is a HUGE statistic of children just like this who commit suicide because they have no support and are in some cases terrorized because of who they are.
At the moment schools, at least in Canada, teach sexual anatomy, the physical act of heterosexual sex, give children a basic knowledge of stds, and show us how to put a condom on. There may or may not be discussion of sexual preference. At first I thought, they are teaching too much of something and not enough of other things. But I honestly believe that children should be better educated. They need to be informed with a better knowledge of stds and statistics. Not only what the symptoms are but the permanent repercussions of the treatable but not curable stds. They need to hear horror stories about other children like themselves making stupid decisions and contracting things like syphilis. They need to be made fully aware of gender issues and different choices in sexuality. And they need to be told that there is always SOMEBODY to talk to when they are in crisis. Somebody other than a counselor is less knowledgeable and almost as awkward to talk about some of the situations they will be dealing with then they are. I will definitely make sure my children are better aware then I was.

Most peoples parents give them some random speech about not having sex before they are ready, or before they are in love; about "being safe and using a condom". My favorite conversation with my mother involved the statement "a plastic bag is no excuse for a condom". I knew I would be loved no matter what I did or was. Not everybody is so lucky, and parents do not know it all. I think some of us may take for granted how knowledgeable we really are. There are a huge number of women out there who don't even know that wiping from back to front is what keeps giving them a yeast infection. There are thousands of young girls getting drunk and shoving lolipops up their snatch. The sex ed teachers have a curriculum which has been designed to teach students the things that are most important. Where we fall short now is where parents start freaking out and worrying that the knowledge will turn their children into sex addicts. Which should speak volumes of the information that parents would be handing down to their children if left to their own devices.

They should definitely provide more sexual education for teens. I think there should be defense courses too! Alot of crap happens in high school.

My older children were told the same exact thing in the "Sex Education" class in HS. It was, of course, an abstinence based program and they guy teaching it was so woefully neglectful and uninformed that I actually sent a note, with references about all the shit he was telling the kids that were completely untrue and not factual.

His reply, "Well, condoms can come off or break, then you have AIDS." (facepalm) NOT a reason to not tell kids they are their best first line of defense against disease and pregnancy! He also exaggerated the percentage of people who are HIV positive and told the kids "In 10 years, at least a quarter of you in this room will become infected if you have sex before marriage." The school claimed it had NO recourse, as it was during the Bush Administration and they told me "We have to say that." So much crap.

Right.

But, I know too many parents who are Abstinence Only minded....most of them are grandparents by the time their little darlings are Juniors in High School. It's like a "thing" in our area.

IMO, Planned Parenthood should give a 3 week minicourse in EVERY High School in the Country, every year, and get paid for it!

Carrie Ann & P :
You guy have seen first hand what it is that is going on in the school systems that support the whole idea of just dont have sex at all. Abstinence only by some schools is all about scaring the poor kids to death. The bad thing about that idea is that if the kid is curious about sex and or their body, they are gonna play around.

What do we do when the society that we live in, seems to take away most of the rights we should have as a parent. A child that has open parents that have taught that child that there isn't anything wrong with their bodies, and that it is ok. When that child not knowing any better tells or corrects others about what is right and what is not all the sudden has the attention of every child protection agency around because they think that the child is being abused in some way or another.

In a way yes some laws are needed to be in place, but at the same time there has to be a line there that parents know they are safe in telling their child the truths of sex in all its forms and not fear having the child or children taken.

I guess if schools are not willing to tell the truth, then parents should be willing to step up and do so. To me I have always said that sex is the best thing you will ever have the chance to know. The last thing I want to add is that I think it is best to talk about it at every chance possible. A few short talks hear or there are better then one big sit down talk. Now days though, instead of asking what they don't know about sex, it would be better to ask what they don't know... or what they think they know about sex. The internet is a great thing but just like anything else, depending on the information it too can be tainted or off.

Vanillafree,
You bring up a great thought and theory, BUT... What about the child who has no real models at home or the like. The days of "I love Lucy" are gone, the fact that there are more children living with a single mom or a dad in some cases just adds to the problem. The scary part is what if the parents are not the best roll model, the type that say... Do as I say... Not as I do.

I agree with you though, options to has sex and the morality of sex should be done at home... But here we go back to the above paragraph. I don't want the school to tell me what is right or wrong for my children in regards to their bodies and sex. But, at the same time I am aware that some children aren't as lucky and have no real out let for them to talk to. I believe that there is a fine line that is needed. One that will cover not only the basics but a little more then that. But, done in a setting that is non-intrusive.

What does everyone think of the thoughts of having students attend a program done by a group like planed Parenthood. Now, I am not saying they would be the group, but just the idea of an outside organization. What would be the problems with something like this being done in schools? Any idea's.....?

I agree totally.

It's an ongoing dialogue in our house. No "Big Talk." We use every day scenarios as Teachable Moments. It starts when a baby starts learning her or his body parts, penis, testes, vagina, clitoris, labia and butt are all included with arms, legs, fingers, head, tummy, shoulders etc. Babies and toddlers are always up for talking about their genitals, so it's good to start teaching them the right names for their body parts and what they are for then.

We've had thousands of "talks" with our kids. Some of them are funny, some of them are serious. Often it is just to answer a question or correct something one child heard that was not accurate.

One "Big Talk" is embarrassing for the child, and doesn't grow with the child. Ongoing dialogue is really the best way for us to do it.

Sex ed in kindergarten? Wow. I didn't have it until I was in high school, which was probably a few years too late. Right around the time kids start puberty would probably be the best time, IMO.

I don't think this is a good tactic but I do think that children should he educated about the possibilities of condoms breaking and coming off. Especially when they are younger and it is more likely to happen because they are just learning the ins and outs of sex. I know a lot of guys when they were young would had condoms WAY past their exp dates which made them more prone to breakage. Condoms should not be the only defense. Children should be taught that the only way to know for sure that you will not contract a disease from your partner is to see their test results. There is always a risk with sex, whether it be pregnancy, sti's, emotional repercussions whatever. Fortunately sex is awesome and makes it totally worth the risks as long as you protect yourself to the best of your ability. Which is what children need to be educated about.

(I am also all for them being fully educated about sexual preference and gender issues)

I agree, schools have no place in teaching morals or discipline in school. Parents should act like parents and discuss sex ed with their children. If kids get into trouble then there should be consequences for the parents.

Often sex ed shows kids how to get pregnant but doesn't include prevention methods, STD education, the costs of raising a child, etc. due to the abstinence standard. Why teach prevention when we're telling kids not to have sex all together? Abstinence education is a failure.

Schools should be allowed to teach to the kids. I think alot of parents have dropped the ball and they are the only ones left to help the children out. Parents here got angry the school was teaching about condoms. Now the sex ed consists of a movie and that's it. Not a movie that puts things out there point blank. I would say that has alot to do with teen pregnancy. No one is being honest with them anymore.

most schools never teach enough

The operative word here is "should." People "should" do a lot of things. They usually don't. As the parent of 3 kids, two having already gone through puberty, I see few parents willing to step up to the plate and say much of anything about sex and protection. Yeah, they "should" but most don't.

What kind of "consequences" should the parent of a pregnant teen face? I'm sorry, but this makes no sense to me.

Even teens who are given proper info on sex sometimes make poor decisions. Teens fuck. It's that simple. Unless you go on all your kids' dates with them (and even then, they'll find a way to fuck when you aren't around) there is no way to be completely "responsible" for an other person's actions. But, yeah, the schools should (but don't) do more work to educate young people about their bodies and sexual activity.

I wasn't given any sex ed as a child. I took books out of the library, read the encyclopedia (I lost my cherry pre-internet) to learn about birth control and made an appointment with Planned Parenthood when it looked like I was ready to be sexually active. Of course, most girls don't go to that extent, but I KNEW getting pregnant or an STD was possible and not workable for me at an early age.

My older girls were not only given sex ed at home, (as the school did shit work of it) but, they, too, with my blessing saw Planned Parenthood when they were ready to become sexually active. Teach your kids how to use resources and you can't go wrong.

Schools are where our children spend most of their awake time and where they are starting to "hook up" so I think that as much information as possible is a definate neccesity in school!

hahaha They showed us the condom on the banana in like 7th gradE?