An argument that breaks your heart and rattles the foundation of your relationship

Contributor: Badass Badass
I know I am not the only person who has these kinds of arguments where they are left feeling like even though you love them more than anything, you just don't know what to do after it. You're feelings are hurt so you want to run for the hills but you can't imagine being without them.

I'm in the aftermath of one of those arguments.. My question to you all is "What do you do to calm down and lick your wounds after a fight?"
I usually paint or talk it over with a friend. But I don't feel like talking. And I'm all out of canvas. I'm feeling pretty pathetic but I didn't think you all would mind me venting for a moment.

What do you do to make yourself feel better after an argument?
05/05/2012
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Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Space. Honestly, that's the only thing that makes it better. As much as you might want to patch things up, MAKE yourself get away from the person for awhile, and just take care of yourself. For me that has involved going over to my parents' house and playing with their cats. Or if my husband is not home I will take a bath, paint my nails, etc.
05/05/2012
Contributor: TheCleansing TheCleansing
If anything, you need those arguments if they're actually meaningful.

Having said that, find something you love to do alone and do it.
05/05/2012
Contributor: xOhxSoxScandalousx xOhxSoxScandalousx
You are not alone. It's easy to run for the hills and sweep your problems under a rug. But we all know that's not possible. Arguments/fights are gonna happen in a relationship. Whether they are big or small. It's how you recover from them and fix them that counts. Just give yourself some time to relax. In the heat of the moment we all have said terrible things we didn't mean.

Usually when my husband and I get into a huge fight I need to walk away from the situation and be away from him for a couple hours so I can cool down. I'll listen to music or watch tv. Maybe go for a walk if the weather is nice out. That way I keep busy to get my mind off it. Then I'll take a few minutes to think about what happened and figure out what went wrong and how I can fix it.

You're not alone don't worry. Am here if you ever need someone to talk to. Take it easy and don't stress it. Everything will work out in time. You and your significant other just need some space right now. Nothing wrong with that.
05/06/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
Spend some time alone, take a breather, regroup and remember what is special in your relationship. Apologize for your part of the argument, allow your partner to do the same and agree to disagree on the issues that are still volatile.

My husband and I fight to the point of 'I am never going back', however, it is usually alcohol based, on his part & hurt/retaliation based, on my part. When we get to the point of saying things to purposely hurt each other I will leave.

I heal by taking time away from him (going for a short drive, etc.), listening to music, writing my feelings out and burning them. When I come back, we both try to smooth over the argument as best we can and go on from there. It doesn't always work right away....but time is a wonderful healer.
05/06/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
We've not had many of them, but whenever we've had them there has always been an underlying issue. There are certain things we can agree to disagree on, and for the underlying issue stuff we try to face that head on as well - once we're both calmed down.
05/06/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I go for a walk. I need fresh air and time to think. Sometimes a shower is the other option for me. We argue like this. Not as often as we use to, but during the 2-3 year we were together it was bad. We love each other though. We have got better at not hurting each others feelings. Once you have both calmed down, talk. If you can't talk calmly don't talk about it yet.
05/06/2012
Contributor: Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Spend some time alone, take a breather, regroup and remember what is special in your relationship. Apologize for your part of the argument, allow your partner to do the same and agree to disagree on the issues that are still volatile.

My ... more
Any time we argue, it is alcohol based. Last night especially.. I think this fight was the final straw..

Pretty sad, pretty lets wallow and die, but I still breath.

Thanks for the useful ideas everyone.
05/06/2012
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
Any time we argue, it is alcohol based. Last night especially.. I think this fight was the final straw..

Pretty sad, pretty lets wallow and die, but I still breath.

Thanks for the useful ideas everyone.
Hugs, lady.

I'm a fan of the 'take a several-hour-long walk, regardless of the weather, with no ipod and no phone' approach. Do you have any pressing obligations today?
05/06/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Definitely take a break for at least a few hours. Exercising and talking it out with yourself can also help you form your thoughts.
05/06/2012