Do you look through your partners cell phone? Ever found anything incriminating?
Do you check your partners cell phone?
Discussion Topics
1.
Do you check your partners cell phone?
(187 posts)
2.
Does your partner look through your phone?
(60 posts)
3.
Have you ever found anything incriminating?
(40 posts)
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/05/2012
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He doesn't have a cell phone anymore but when he did, I checked it a few times. I wasn't trying to find anything. He doesn't mind if I check his text messages. At least, he didn't until this one time I'll mention in another topic.
02/05/2012
It's inappropriate to snoop through someone else's phone even if you're in a relationship. Everyone is entitled to privacy.
02/05/2012
I will not check my husband's cell phone, unless I need a number that is on his phone only.
02/05/2012
If you're snooping through your partner's phone for anything other than trying to get a number or something, that might be a sign of something called trust issues.
No, I would never go through my partner's phone. As Tuesday said, everyone is entitled to their privacy.
No, I would never go through my partner's phone. As Tuesday said, everyone is entitled to their privacy.
02/05/2012
Only when he shows me something or he knows I am looking for something. I don't snoop, and I trust him
02/05/2012
I have because of suspision and found exactly what I was looking for....
02/05/2012
Quote:
I agree, that snooping is a sign of not only trust issues but more.
Originally posted by
Ms. Spice
If you're snooping through your partner's phone for anything other than trying to get a number or something, that might be a sign of something called trust issues.
No, I would never go through my partner's phone. As Tuesday said, ... more
No, I would never go through my partner's phone. As Tuesday said, ... more
If you're snooping through your partner's phone for anything other than trying to get a number or something, that might be a sign of something called trust issues.
No, I would never go through my partner's phone. As Tuesday said, everyone is entitled to their privacy. less
No, I would never go through my partner's phone. As Tuesday said, everyone is entitled to their privacy. less
I've lived through having a controlling abusive spouse, I don't recommend it.
And FroggieMoma, ever consider that frequently accusing one's SO of cheating just might induce that person to think "she's already convinced that I have cheated when I haven't, I might as well go ahead and do it now".
02/05/2012
I don't look at his phone unless he asks me to (like if he's driving and needs me to read a text to him) and he doesn't look at mine either. I think we both deserve to be able to have private conversations with our friends. I don't have anything innappropriate on my phone, but I would be angry if he was snooping because I would feel like he didn't trust me.
02/05/2012
I have a few times in the past with good reason. He knew about it for the most part. Not anymore though. I hated doing it anyway.
02/05/2012
No way
02/05/2012
Sometimes if he gets a text I'll check it, but just playfully
02/05/2012
Quote:
Occasionally
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/05/2012
He doesn't have a cellphone. Even if he did I wouldn't look through it.
02/05/2012
Quote:
No, I don't I trust her
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/06/2012
Nope, never have.
02/06/2012
lol I tell them people I date bring one home for me if you can. actually I say check their medical records so you don't get an STD, I would like to meet them they might make an excellent friend for us or I would just like to meet them once so I can approve of your choice and you can have a fun guilt free time. Sex is sex long as I get the most attention and the most effort is spent on ME, I'm good.
02/06/2012
Quote:
I have to add something here. The whole "OMG my partner thought I might've been cheating! I NOW have the right to go ahead and do it." thing is not an excuse to do it.
Originally posted by
RonLee
I agree, that snooping is a sign of not only trust issues but more.
I've lived through having a controlling abusive spouse, I don't recommend it.
And FroggieMoma, ever consider that frequently accusing one's SO of cheating just ... more
I've lived through having a controlling abusive spouse, I don't recommend it.
And FroggieMoma, ever consider that frequently accusing one's SO of cheating just ... more
I agree, that snooping is a sign of not only trust issues but more.
I've lived through having a controlling abusive spouse, I don't recommend it.
And FroggieMoma, ever consider that frequently accusing one's SO of cheating just might induce that person to think "she's already convinced that I have cheated when I haven't, I might as well go ahead and do it now". less
I've lived through having a controlling abusive spouse, I don't recommend it.
And FroggieMoma, ever consider that frequently accusing one's SO of cheating just might induce that person to think "she's already convinced that I have cheated when I haven't, I might as well go ahead and do it now". less
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME point where you wonder if they've thought about cheating or came close. Everybody has those thoughts, even if you're 100% sure they did not cheat, you wonder. However, there is a huge difference in being controlling and checking your partner's text messages one time. There's also a major difference in not trusting and being over stressed or insecure and paranoid every so often. Look at how women are typically treated. Not very well. I'm not saying women don't do just as shitty things as men, but let's face it, it's rare to find a man who doesn't even THINK or LOOK at another woman. If he does those things, why the hell wouldn't his wife/girlfriend suspect him as a cheater? Perfect reason. However, I do think trust should be a top priority and some people have trust issues and insecurities and if a partner is kind and understanding enough to reassure their love, that's great. Snooping can be really bad, but what's more important than critisizing the snooper is why the snooper snoops. Is it because the bastard's cheated before? If so, I would urge anybody to leave. However, if you have broken trust with your love then you have to own up to the consequences and if you expect them to stay with you after breaking trust, you better be ready to prove yourself sometimes IMO.
Beside that, I don't check on my partner. He doesn't check on me. You know why we have it so easy? Because neither of us EVER get involved with the opposite sex. Nope. Unless it's family, we don't cross those lines, those boundaries. That's another thing that should be top priority in a relationship. Boundaries and sticking to em'. I've answered his cell before when he asks me to and he does mine some, but rarely. I'm weird about answering anybody else's phone calls anyways. He tends to leave his LOUD phone in the bedroom after work and usually I'm doing work or school work so I when he gets a lot of calls, I'll see who it is and write it down and turn his phone off and tell him who called later. We usually read our texts to each other anyways if it's interesting. However, we made an effort to keep our phone numbers to a minimum. Mostly family and close friends get our number and we don't use the phone or internet for anything that would be crossing the line.
If you have worries like this, going the route we did isn't a bad idea if you're both happy that way. We made the decision to stay totally away from specific things that would cause problems and that was 5 years ago. It cut down on a lot of drama I'd encountered with EX'S and there's complete trust with us. We don't chat with the oppostite sex so we have the luxury of not having to worry if the other was crossing the line and things like that. It's We apply that to every part of our lives. We still interact and talk to the opposite sex, but are VERY careful. It's worked for us and allowed us to have a peaceful past 5 years where we get to focus on US.
02/06/2012
Never, unless I need to go online and can't find my phone. We trust each other.
02/06/2012
Yes. When I need a phone number or he wants me to check one of his messages. I know he doesn't have anything to hide and he's offered to let me go through anything I want, but I don't feel the need to because I trust him.
02/06/2012
I don't have too. I know what my hubby does and where he is all the time, so no need to check his phone. He even switched phones with me for a day and I didn't go through it.
02/06/2012
Quote:
I don't, but since he has a smart phone and I don't, he'll let me look through it or play around on it. I've never looked through his texts or anything (frankly, I don't know how, lol). I trust him.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/06/2012
My wife doesn't like to check her email or phone frequently. If a text tone or call comes in while shes out of the room - I'll check to see who it's from and let her know who's trying to reach her.
02/06/2012
The only time that I check anything of his or he does of mine....its for "necessity" purposes. We both have the same friends/family in our phone, so we don't need phone numbers from each other. Sometimes if his phone goes off, Ill check to see who it is, or tell him what the text message says, and he'll do the same for me. We have every account and password information for each other, because we have nothing to hide.
We have both been cheated on in the past (Our ex spouses) and we know that feeling to be cheated on. we know that we would never want to hurt the other that way.
We made a pact a long time ago, before we married, that if ANYTHING came up to where it was so bad that we couldn't work things out, and that we had feelings or urges for another person, that we would be honest and open with each other and end the marriage before any kind of infidelity occurred.
We have nothing to hide from each other. Besides, we're always together (unless he's at work). When he and I are not together, we trust each other wholeheartedly!
We have both been cheated on in the past (Our ex spouses) and we know that feeling to be cheated on. we know that we would never want to hurt the other that way.
We made a pact a long time ago, before we married, that if ANYTHING came up to where it was so bad that we couldn't work things out, and that we had feelings or urges for another person, that we would be honest and open with each other and end the marriage before any kind of infidelity occurred.
We have nothing to hide from each other. Besides, we're always together (unless he's at work). When he and I are not together, we trust each other wholeheartedly!
02/06/2012
Quote:
"Look at how women are typically treated. Not very well. I'm not saying women don't do just as shitty things as men, but let's face it, it's rare to find a man who doesn't even THINK or LOOK at another woman. If he does those things, why the hell wouldn't his wife/girlfriend suspect him as a cheater? Perfect reason."
Originally posted by
K101
I have to add something here. The whole "OMG my partner thought I might've been cheating! I NOW have the right to go ahead and do it." thing is not an excuse to do it.
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME ... more
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME ... more
I have to add something here. The whole "OMG my partner thought I might've been cheating! I NOW have the right to go ahead and do it." thing is not an excuse to do it.
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME point where you wonder if they've thought about cheating or came close. Everybody has those thoughts, even if you're 100% sure they did not cheat, you wonder. However, there is a huge difference in being controlling and checking your partner's text messages one time. There's also a major difference in not trusting and being over stressed or insecure and paranoid every so often. Look at how women are typically treated. Not very well. I'm not saying women don't do just as shitty things as men, but let's face it, it's rare to find a man who doesn't even THINK or LOOK at another woman. If he does those things, why the hell wouldn't his wife/girlfriend suspect him as a cheater? Perfect reason. However, I do think trust should be a top priority and some people have trust issues and insecurities and if a partner is kind and understanding enough to reassure their love, that's great. Snooping can be really bad, but what's more important than critisizing the snooper is why the snooper snoops. Is it because the bastard's cheated before? If so, I would urge anybody to leave. However, if you have broken trust with your love then you have to own up to the consequences and if you expect them to stay with you after breaking trust, you better be ready to prove yourself sometimes IMO.
Beside that, I don't check on my partner. He doesn't check on me. You know why we have it so easy? Because neither of us EVER get involved with the opposite sex. Nope. Unless it's family, we don't cross those lines, those boundaries. That's another thing that should be top priority in a relationship. Boundaries and sticking to em'. I've answered his cell before when he asks me to and he does mine some, but rarely. I'm weird about answering anybody else's phone calls anyways. He tends to leave his LOUD phone in the bedroom after work and usually I'm doing work or school work so I when he gets a lot of calls, I'll see who it is and write it down and turn his phone off and tell him who called later. We usually read our texts to each other anyways if it's interesting. However, we made an effort to keep our phone numbers to a minimum. Mostly family and close friends get our number and we don't use the phone or internet for anything that would be crossing the line.
If you have worries like this, going the route we did isn't a bad idea if you're both happy that way. We made the decision to stay totally away from specific things that would cause problems and that was 5 years ago. It cut down on a lot of drama I'd encountered with EX'S and there's complete trust with us. We don't chat with the oppostite sex so we have the luxury of not having to worry if the other was crossing the line and things like that. It's We apply that to every part of our lives. We still interact and talk to the opposite sex, but are VERY careful. It's worked for us and allowed us to have a peaceful past 5 years where we get to focus on US. less
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME point where you wonder if they've thought about cheating or came close. Everybody has those thoughts, even if you're 100% sure they did not cheat, you wonder. However, there is a huge difference in being controlling and checking your partner's text messages one time. There's also a major difference in not trusting and being over stressed or insecure and paranoid every so often. Look at how women are typically treated. Not very well. I'm not saying women don't do just as shitty things as men, but let's face it, it's rare to find a man who doesn't even THINK or LOOK at another woman. If he does those things, why the hell wouldn't his wife/girlfriend suspect him as a cheater? Perfect reason. However, I do think trust should be a top priority and some people have trust issues and insecurities and if a partner is kind and understanding enough to reassure their love, that's great. Snooping can be really bad, but what's more important than critisizing the snooper is why the snooper snoops. Is it because the bastard's cheated before? If so, I would urge anybody to leave. However, if you have broken trust with your love then you have to own up to the consequences and if you expect them to stay with you after breaking trust, you better be ready to prove yourself sometimes IMO.
Beside that, I don't check on my partner. He doesn't check on me. You know why we have it so easy? Because neither of us EVER get involved with the opposite sex. Nope. Unless it's family, we don't cross those lines, those boundaries. That's another thing that should be top priority in a relationship. Boundaries and sticking to em'. I've answered his cell before when he asks me to and he does mine some, but rarely. I'm weird about answering anybody else's phone calls anyways. He tends to leave his LOUD phone in the bedroom after work and usually I'm doing work or school work so I when he gets a lot of calls, I'll see who it is and write it down and turn his phone off and tell him who called later. We usually read our texts to each other anyways if it's interesting. However, we made an effort to keep our phone numbers to a minimum. Mostly family and close friends get our number and we don't use the phone or internet for anything that would be crossing the line.
If you have worries like this, going the route we did isn't a bad idea if you're both happy that way. We made the decision to stay totally away from specific things that would cause problems and that was 5 years ago. It cut down on a lot of drama I'd encountered with EX'S and there's complete trust with us. We don't chat with the oppostite sex so we have the luxury of not having to worry if the other was crossing the line and things like that. It's We apply that to every part of our lives. We still interact and talk to the opposite sex, but are VERY careful. It's worked for us and allowed us to have a peaceful past 5 years where we get to focus on US. less
It's not a perfect reason to think someone is cheating. It's not even a good indication at all. And the reason why it's so rare to find a man who doesn't "look" is because they've been evolutionarily hardwired to be stimulated by visuals and when a person they think is attractive walks by, it's an innate response to give them a once over. Glaring, leering and staring are not the same thing, mind you. That's completely different.
02/06/2012
I have always been the kind of person who cannot help but do this. I hate that I am that person and this is why I am no longer looking to be in a relationship for a loooong time.
02/06/2012
Only really when he tells me to for some reason.
02/06/2012
NEVER! Once in a while, he'll ask me to go into his phone to get a number or see when someone called him. But, I never look unless he requests it. He's entitled to his privacy. I know he never goes through mine, either.
My Man doesn't text. He's older and was born long before the Information Age and although he works in Technology, he hates Technology. He doesn't even know how to access pictures people send him on his phone and has never read, much less answered a text. He's a true Luddite. My daughters had to set up his voice mail account, because they were tired of getting a message that his account wasn't set up yet. They pretended to be him, "Hi, this is D. I'm not here. Leave a message." in a fake baritone. It was hilarious, and it's still on his phone.
On the rare occasion he does get a message on his phone, it's always the same. "P'Gell, what the hell is my password?" *sigh*
Gotta love him.
My Man doesn't text. He's older and was born long before the Information Age and although he works in Technology, he hates Technology. He doesn't even know how to access pictures people send him on his phone and has never read, much less answered a text. He's a true Luddite. My daughters had to set up his voice mail account, because they were tired of getting a message that his account wasn't set up yet. They pretended to be him, "Hi, this is D. I'm not here. Leave a message." in a fake baritone. It was hilarious, and it's still on his phone.
On the rare occasion he does get a message on his phone, it's always the same. "P'Gell, what the hell is my password?" *sigh*
Gotta love him.
02/06/2012
no,ive thought about it tho.
02/06/2012
No, it's not something I really care that much about. I trust my partner. She did cheat on me and when that was happening I did check her phone once, which didn't really confirm anything, but she was honest with me, we talked it through and I just don't want to snoop.
02/06/2012
We use each other's phones. I always put my phone in the same place so it's easier to find.
02/06/2012
No. I would be upset if he snooped around in my things, so why would I do that to him?
02/06/2012
I won't even get something out of my wife's purse if she asks me to get it (I'll just bring her purse over to her so she can get it for me)...couldn't imagine snooping through her phone/computer/etc.
02/06/2012
Nope
02/06/2012
I used to. He had a problem cheating in past relationships and his main way of doing so was through his phone. I asked him in the beginning of the relationship what he felt we should do to hold him accountable and honest. He asked that I randomly check his phone. So I did. Then a few months into the relationship we discussed it again and realized I didn't have to do that any more. The honesty was there as was the trust. Sometimes in bed he'll look through mine or vice versa (actually, I think he's looked through mine more than I have his in the past few months). Not to find anything incriminating, more for amusement. We usually end up with laughs when we look. The only 'rule' we have to looking in each others phones is that the other person has to be in the same room. That way if the lookee is upset or finds something, it can be addressed right away.
02/07/2012
Quote:
No point really...I know who they are sleeping with.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/07/2012
Never! I would be offended if he went through mine even though I have not and will not cheat. To me that is a sign of control/abuse issues and I cant deal with that again. I have used his phone for things like music/apps but never ever have I touched the text message-y part of his phone.
02/07/2012
if its ringing and she cant answer it, I will see who it is and if its important. or if I need some info or a number. but thats it. I dont care about the other stuff on her phone.
02/07/2012
Quote:
I only check her cell phone if she has specifically asked me too or given me permission too. Our cell phones are apart of our own private little world I guess? We don't feel any need to see who's messaging who. We trust each other, and unless I ask, or she wants me to check her phone because it keeps vibrating due to a text then I never really touch it.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/12/2012
It's just not right to snoop. And if you're snooping, you probably have something to hide yourself.
02/12/2012
Quote:
Thank you. I can always count on you to be the voice of reason
Originally posted by
Ansley
"Look at how women are typically treated. Not very well. I'm not saying women don't do just as shitty things as men, but let's face it, it's rare to find a man who doesn't even THINK or LOOK at another woman. If he does those
...
more
"Look at how women are typically treated. Not very well. I'm not saying women don't do just as shitty things as men, but let's face it, it's rare to find a man who doesn't even THINK or LOOK at another woman. If he does those things, why the hell wouldn't his wife/girlfriend suspect him as a cheater? Perfect reason."
It's not a perfect reason to think someone is cheating. It's not even a good indication at all. And the reason why it's so rare to find a man who doesn't "look" is because they've been evolutionarily hardwired to be stimulated by visuals and when a person they think is attractive walks by, it's an innate response to give them a once over. Glaring, leering and staring are not the same thing, mind you. That's completely different. less
It's not a perfect reason to think someone is cheating. It's not even a good indication at all. And the reason why it's so rare to find a man who doesn't "look" is because they've been evolutionarily hardwired to be stimulated by visuals and when a person they think is attractive walks by, it's an innate response to give them a once over. Glaring, leering and staring are not the same thing, mind you. That's completely different. less
02/12/2012
Quote:
nope i never have
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/12/2012
Quote:
a few times i have
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/13/2012
Relationships based on trust shouldn't need any phone checking. Mike knows if he cheats he's fucked so he doesn't even try.
02/14/2012
I do, but I know he wouldn't cheat on me. It's mostly to see if his ex (mother of his kids) is asking for money, something I fret about constantly. :-(
02/15/2012
Not my job to baby sit them
02/16/2012
Absolutely not. That would be a huge violation of trust. Anyway, I'd have no reason to.
02/16/2012
I never do, I don't have the time and I am not a cop! Trust has to be in a relationship or forget it!
02/16/2012
I trust my guy and he's done nothing to make me think otherwise. Sometimes I'll grab his phone for the time and what not. At first I used to ask if it was okay and he would just roll his eyes and say "pick up the damn phone."
Good times
Good times
02/16/2012
I check my husband's phone every once in a while just to see if he and the in-laws are planning anything. I don't want to go on another "vacation" I never agreed to again.
02/18/2012
guilty!
02/18/2012
Guilty. I did once. But only once and only because I was bored and his phone was the only thing to stare at at the moment.
02/19/2012
I have before, but not secretely, he was always there with me and I was just messing on it... he has also done the same thing before.
02/20/2012
We both do, but we're completely up front about it. We don't sneakily go through when the other's not looking or anything. If he wants to look at my phone, he picks it up (or asks to see it), and I do the same. Usually, it's just to see what kind of silly things we've shared, whether it be pictures or jokes.
02/20/2012
Quote:
he rarely answers his phone if i dont check it we could miss calles from drs or our kids
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/20/2012
i didn't want to check until all of sudden she started locking it, then it was a little suspicious.
02/22/2012
Quote:
Never. That would be an invasion of privacy. Akin to reading their diary. THAT, I dare say, would be CHEATING.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/22/2012
Yes, I don't see it as a big deal. I don't go looking for anything, but if it's there in front of me I will see it.
02/22/2012
It's not like I'm looking for something and we don't mind because we aren't hiding anything.
02/23/2012
Quote:
i have a few times
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
02/28/2012
Quote:
yes
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
03/01/2012
Don't go looking for anything. There is the occasional time where I'm reading texts because I want to see how a conversation was going when I got preoccupied.
03/09/2012
Quote:
I agree, it seems like a bit of a violation to me.
Originally posted by
Tuesday
It's inappropriate to snoop through someone else's phone even if you're in a relationship. Everyone is entitled to privacy.
03/09/2012
I would if he had a phone.
03/11/2012
No, but I have nothing to be concerned about so I wouldn't care.
03/11/2012
No way!
03/11/2012
I don't think I'd allow someone to do this to me, so I wouldn't do it to someone else.
There is a huge difference between privacy and secrecy.
There is a huge difference between privacy and secrecy.
03/11/2012
Quote:
I used to look through occasionally (with his knowledge) but not really looking to find anything, just bored. When I stopped looking is apparently when he started cheating. But I found that through email not his phone.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
03/12/2012
I just like to see what texts she saves from me.
03/16/2012
Don't worry about anything so I don't check her phone.
03/17/2012
I have in a past relationship and I felt awful because I found what I was looking for. It shouldn't be that way. Trust should be enough.
03/18/2012
Quote:
I have but it's out of insecurity. I've been hurt badly in the past and it's something I'm starting to overcome. I think I have finally found a decent guy. If I could just get my self-esteem back I don't think it'd be a problem. I just have crappy self-esteem and I feel like I'm not good enough....for anyone...
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
04/02/2012
I don't. I'm a huge proponent of personal privacy in almost every context including this one.
04/02/2012
Very seldomly.
04/10/2012
If I had to check it, she wouldn't be my significant other. But then again I have been twice married and deceived.
04/12/2012
Nope. I trust my guy.
04/16/2012
My boyfriend and trust each other and we both have access to each others cell phones and laptops. He uses my laptop to watch shows online because my screen's bigger and I play on his because it's a mac. As far as cell phones, we have the same phone so we know exactly how to use each others and feel free to at any time. We have a lot of mutual friends who have a habit of texting or calling only one of us because they assume we'll let our other half know what's up and it's easier to just say "oh, Michael was asking about our plans this weekend, go read the texts" than to try to explain a long conversation. Aside from that, we don't check each others messages often unless his family is involved. We're only 20 minutes away from his parents and have dinner with them often. He'll forget what time his parents said to meet them and when we're getting ready, it's usually easier for me to check myself.
04/18/2012
Nope. I haven't felt a need to.
04/20/2012
i never do that and i would never want for him to do that to me. everyone needs some sort of privacy.
04/23/2012
Don't need to. She never has it on.
04/23/2012
No, I wouldn't,
04/23/2012
i do everyday, but not to see who texted him, just to see if he has any new adult jokes on it xD his friends sends him these adult things, and he knows i get a kick out of it.
when he gets a ton in a day he actually hands me his phone and says, "have fun."
when he gets a ton in a day he actually hands me his phone and says, "have fun."
04/23/2012
Phone, no. Facebook, yes. But I stopped looking at his Facebook for my own sanity.
04/24/2012
yes because she would look at mine. i would leave my cell phone a certain way on the table go take a shower and come back and can tell it was moved/touched.
04/24/2012
I have once or twice, but just to make sure it was turned off or when she was in the hospital and I was coordinating with her parents.
04/24/2012
I personally don't see the point of looking through someones phone unless there is a trust issue. No one can say they were just curious, because just curious wouldn't make you invade anyone's privacy.
If you have to look through their phone, you're basically already doomed.
If you have to look through their phone, you're basically already doomed.
04/24/2012
I don't feel the need to do that. I trust my man
04/24/2012
nope
04/24/2012
We no longer have cell phones, but wheen we did I felt no need to check his. I trust him. That's why I married him.
04/24/2012
Absolutely not, I think that is an invasion of privacy. I wouldn't BE in a relationship with someone I couldn't trust!
04/24/2012
Quote:
I have, but it's not habit. It's generally like, "hey grab my phone and look up so and so" and then if I see something that makes me curious I'll check, but it's never at all with the intent of catching him doing something bad, because he's not like that at all and I trust him completely.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
04/24/2012
Quote:
I do not, unless he asks me to.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
04/24/2012
I voted no, but I do if he asks me to pick it up and respond for him. He's lazy like that lol
04/25/2012
Quote:
ooohhhh i wish i could but he doesn't want me to
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
04/26/2012
Never have, never will. I think it's a terrible invasion of privacy. A relationship requires trust.
04/30/2012
I'd only check it if he asked me to. We don't have anything to hide from each other, but we also don't snoop around.
05/17/2012
I chose other because he doesn't have a cell phone, but even if he did, I wouldn't. If I felt like I couldn't trust someone enough and I had to check their cell phone, that would be the point when i would end the relationship.
05/18/2012
I never snooped his cell phone (he lives 5000 miles away from me, so I suppose that would be somewhat difficult), but I used to be pretty bad about checking his Facebook. He tends to have more female friends, and at the urging of my best friend, I checked his Facebook frequently to make sure that he was only having friendly--not flirty--conversation with these girls. I found nothing incriminating, and I was really embarrassed. I asked him soon after to please change his password and not to give it to me. This has exponentially helped with our trust issues, and I now know I have nothing to worry about.
05/19/2012
I don't
07/08/2012
We kind of have a shared phone except it is more his than mine.
07/08/2012
I don't go through my boyfriend's phone.
07/08/2012
I do not do it. Only cause I don't know how to work it.
Actually I just don't, but I might would if I had a good reason.
Actually I just don't, but I might would if I had a good reason.
07/08/2012
We basically share phones. We're horrible about keeping up with phones in general. But we share the same friends, and neither of us is suspicious of the other. So if I happen to be using his phone, it's because mine is elsewhere, and vice versa. But we've never snooped on one another.
07/09/2012
Not often at all. He also has my permission to look through my phone whenever he'd like.
07/09/2012
Absolutely not. I expect him to respect my privacy, and in return I respect his.
07/09/2012
Not checking in the sense of snooping. I have no reason to do that. But if he gets a text from a friend of ours I'll read it aloud if he's got his hands tied (hehe). We know each other passwords to get in our phones and everyone thinks were crazy... I think we just trust each other and have nothing to hide from each other.
07/09/2012
nope
07/13/2012
nope
07/13/2012
I check it when he gets a text or someones calling and he's unable to answer or to see if he has any new fun games
07/19/2012
On occasion, but mostly just be nice and relay a message to her
07/20/2012
Not a chance. I value my privacy above most things, it's not something I'd want broken myself. So I respect his. I'll occasionally read a text over his shoulder or something like that, but that's it. He's used my phone when it's convenient or vice versa, but I don't consider things like that snooping.
07/20/2012
No, and I think if you have to, there's a trust issue going on.
07/20/2012
Unless one of us is intentionally showing the other a funny text or photo or something, we don't look at each other's phones. I would never snoop through a partner's phone. In any case, we're polyamorous and have fairly open boundaries, so there's not a lot she could have on her phone that could count as "incriminating" in the context of our relationship.
07/20/2012
I do not check her phone, no.
07/23/2012
never need to
07/24/2012
Quote:
plus 1
Originally posted by
SubmissiveFeminist
No, and I think if you have to, there's a trust issue going on.
07/24/2012
I don't "check" his phone, but his phone is way cooler than mine & i play games on it and whatnot. If an e-mail or text comes in while its in my hands I may look, but I tell him first & I know I can trust him enough to not have to check it.
07/30/2012
If you have to "check" it's not a healthy relationship. There's no trust...
07/31/2012
Quote:
No, but I am curious. He deletes his messages immediately, so all I would really find is the phone #s of whoever is in his phone.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
08/01/2012
No I have not done this.
08/01/2012
Never
08/01/2012
Only occasionally, and usually it's because he's driving and asks me to check it for him.
08/05/2012
I don't check or go through his phone. And, since we finally upgraded to smartphones last fall, we don't even have to look for phone numbers (or photos or shopping lists) in each others phones since we set up our phones to share via the iCloud.
08/07/2012
there's never any reason for me to look through his phone
08/11/2012
I trust my partner implicitly. I don't check their phone.
08/11/2012
I check when I need to grab a number.
08/12/2012
nope
08/12/2012
I occasionally look at my bfs phone. I have no fear of him cheating on me but I was cheated on that way with my ex husband. My bf now and I talked about it when we first got together and agreed that we had no secrets and both our phones were open to the other when ever we wanted. It's not a trust issue, sometimes it's just curiosity... there are times he grabs my phone to read what my friend and I have been talking about or asks and I dont want to tell him it all so I just tell him to read it LOL and vica versa for me
08/12/2012
I don't anymore, but I used to. She had a friend who would send her rather racy texts, and I was jealous. I talked to her about it, and she honestly didn't realize her friend was coming on to her.
She checks mine though, because she's nosy, and I often forget to tell her plans/what's going on, haha.
She checks mine though, because she's nosy, and I often forget to tell her plans/what's going on, haha.
08/16/2012
Never. Always scared of what I might find.
08/23/2012
Oh would not do that, SOO uncool and no he hasn't checked mine.
08/23/2012
I don't and don't really have a reason to.
08/23/2012
Yes with my ex I check his cell phone and call numbers back and text people from his phone acting like him only because it would go off a lot and I had a feeling he was cheating on me and he was.
08/23/2012
I don't.
08/23/2012
I don't. I trust my partner and have no reason to go through his phone.
08/24/2012
In a case like HotMilk's where you had strong suspicions, it makes sense to check. Find out what you have to find out, then break it off.
But for the most part people, please, don't go checking your partner's cell. If you don't want them doing it to you, don't do it to them. It isn't nice and if they knew you were doing it, it would probably hurt their feelings.
But for the most part people, please, don't go checking your partner's cell. If you don't want them doing it to you, don't do it to them. It isn't nice and if they knew you were doing it, it would probably hurt their feelings.
08/28/2012
Aside from the breach of trust, I feel like checking a partner's cell phone is a mark of trust issues in the relationship, at least on some level, whether because you're mistrusting or because your partner gives you reason to.
08/28/2012
I'm not very technically advanced! I'd be lost trying to check up on him!
09/02/2012
nope, never, it's his phone and I have no reason to snoop
09/02/2012
I have no reason too, I trust him completely
09/04/2012
Never.
09/28/2012
Augustxsins
Nope. I could, since I have his passcode, but I don't really feel the need to. He's never given me any reason to distrust him. I would think less of myself if I violated HIS trust and snooped through his private things. He affords me privacy, and I give him the same consideration.
I might feel differently if he actively hid his phone or I didn't have access to it, but I do and he doesn't ever act weird about me being near his phone/knowing the passcode. His behavior is open, honest, and trustworthy. I try to be the same.
I might feel differently if he actively hid his phone or I didn't have access to it, but I do and he doesn't ever act weird about me being near his phone/knowing the passcode. His behavior is open, honest, and trustworthy. I try to be the same.
09/28/2012
No, never.
09/28/2012
Never!
09/28/2012
Never. It's an invasion of privacy. I wouldn't snoop around like that just like I wouldn't snoop on his computer. If he needed me to find something on it and asked, sure I would. But otherwise no.
09/29/2012
Quote:
i just spy on his friends
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
09/29/2012
bsgs
i have done it a few times, and shes done it to me
09/29/2012
i have my reasons to do it and thats the only times i do
09/29/2012
I have I think once before. I saw something I didn't like. I'll never check another boyfriends phone.
10/03/2012
Only if I have a logical reason for doing so. I have in the past when I was with ex's that were suspected of cheating. And I mean in the sense as I could smell girls on him (and NOT their perfume) and another ex would go out drinking til 5 AM and once came home at 930am with hickys on his neck. Yeah, I checked his cell alright.
10/19/2012
We dont have anything to hide so he can check mine all he wants and I can check his whenever I want.
10/19/2012
Yes, occasionally.
10/19/2012
Quote:
Um, same here.
Originally posted by
froggiemoma
I have because of suspision and found exactly what I was looking for....
Two months I would have answered "never". I never had reason to even think about it. But for a short while I knew something was up, I could just tell. You know, that woman's intuition. Anyhow, he forgot his phone home one night. I stopped myself a few times but I couldn't resist. I had to.
10/19/2012
I would never check his phone. I don't care what he has on there. I trust him and it would be wrong. He does like to play around with my phone and change my wallpaper to stupid things and stuff like that while we're bored together, but he doesn't read through my messages either.
10/19/2012
Quote:
Nope, never have.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
10/24/2012
Quote:
Same here!
Originally posted by
froggiemoma
I have because of suspision and found exactly what I was looking for....
10/24/2012
Yes. I will admit I do it, usually when he is sleeping.I have major trust issues!
10/24/2012
i have. but I'm not proud of it. i don't plan on having any future relationships where i would feel the need.
but...if you get a message and i go to pick up your phone and you panic...then we have a problem. so i guess i should say that i would check, but not secretly...to see who its from. but i think reading the actual text is a violation of the privacy of the person who sent it. i know couples who read each others emails, and i take offense to not having that privacy when emailing them
but...if you get a message and i go to pick up your phone and you panic...then we have a problem. so i guess i should say that i would check, but not secretly...to see who its from. but i think reading the actual text is a violation of the privacy of the person who sent it. i know couples who read each others emails, and i take offense to not having that privacy when emailing them
10/24/2012
I get on her phone to play angry birds, maybe go into her pictures and see if she took anything cute lately, but that's about it.
10/25/2012
regrettably yes but this is because he would frequently basically lie to me and i liked knowing what he said to certain people.
10/25/2012
Quote:
No, I do not.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
12/04/2012
I try not to.
12/04/2012
Not in the slightest. This is an invasion of privacy. If I feel like I need to find something out, we talk. Plain and simple.
12/04/2012
When I was with my cheating ex, I stole his cell a lot and checked his texts all the time. I was so insecure in the relationship it was terrible! I caught him flirting with my friends and that only re-enforced the insecurity! When I FINALLY ended it with that asshole (he was my first bf so I was naive), that habit transitioned a little to my next guy. I am happy to say that I am happy with the man I am with now and never feel the need to look through his cell phone.
12/05/2012
I can't believe how many people said yes! That's such an intense invasion of privacy, I'd be enraged if my partner did that. I'd feel horribly guilty if I did that to my partner! I can't stand invasions of privacy like that, even if you suspect someone is cheating, talking is WAY better than invading someone's personal space. Just TALK, COMMUNICATE with your partner, don't be invasive :'(
12/05/2012
No way. I trust him, there's no reason for me to snoop. If I felt like I had a reason to I'd talk to him, if it went badly I'd probably have to really think about the relationship.
12/05/2012
no i trust her
12/05/2012
Quote:
no. I'd find it creepy.
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
I do occasionally hijack phones of my girlfriend and friends to change the language.
01/11/2013
nope dont need 2
01/12/2013
I do, but not like, creepily taking his phone and going through it. I check his phone when he is driving and says, "Honey, can you see if my mom texted me back?" or something similar. I trust him completely. I know he wouldn't ever cheat. And because of that, we aren't anal about his phone either way. I never feel the need to check it, he never feels the need to hide it, so it just so happens that I check his phone. For very different reasons.
01/12/2013
No way, and I would have some major black out rage going on if a partner did that to me. Such a violation of privacy.
01/12/2013
Quote:
Well said
Originally posted by
K101
I have to add something here. The whole "OMG my partner thought I might've been cheating! I NOW have the right to go ahead and do it." thing is not an excuse to do it.
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME ... more
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME ... more
I have to add something here. The whole "OMG my partner thought I might've been cheating! I NOW have the right to go ahead and do it." thing is not an excuse to do it.
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME point where you wonder if they've thought about cheating or came close. Everybody has those thoughts, even if you're 100% sure they did not cheat, you wonder. However, there is a huge difference in being controlling and checking your partner's text messages one time. There's also a major difference in not trusting and being over stressed or insecure and paranoid every so often. Look at how women are typically treated. Not very well. I'm not saying women don't do just as shitty things as men, but let's face it, it's rare to find a man who doesn't even THINK or LOOK at another woman. If he does those things, why the hell wouldn't his wife/girlfriend suspect him as a cheater? Perfect reason. However, I do think trust should be a top priority and some people have trust issues and insecurities and if a partner is kind and understanding enough to reassure their love, that's great. Snooping can be really bad, but what's more important than critisizing the snooper is why the snooper snoops. Is it because the bastard's cheated before? If so, I would urge anybody to leave. However, if you have broken trust with your love then you have to own up to the consequences and if you expect them to stay with you after breaking trust, you better be ready to prove yourself sometimes IMO.
Beside that, I don't check on my partner. He doesn't check on me. You know why we have it so easy? Because neither of us EVER get involved with the opposite sex. Nope. Unless it's family, we don't cross those lines, those boundaries. That's another thing that should be top priority in a relationship. Boundaries and sticking to em'. I've answered his cell before when he asks me to and he does mine some, but rarely. I'm weird about answering anybody else's phone calls anyways. He tends to leave his LOUD phone in the bedroom after work and usually I'm doing work or school work so I when he gets a lot of calls, I'll see who it is and write it down and turn his phone off and tell him who called later. We usually read our texts to each other anyways if it's interesting. However, we made an effort to keep our phone numbers to a minimum. Mostly family and close friends get our number and we don't use the phone or internet for anything that would be crossing the line.
If you have worries like this, going the route we did isn't a bad idea if you're both happy that way. We made the decision to stay totally away from specific things that would cause problems and that was 5 years ago. It cut down on a lot of drama I'd encountered with EX'S and there's complete trust with us. We don't chat with the oppostite sex so we have the luxury of not having to worry if the other was crossing the line and things like that. It's We apply that to every part of our lives. We still interact and talk to the opposite sex, but are VERY careful. It's worked for us and allowed us to have a peaceful past 5 years where we get to focus on US. less
If you're in a long relationship, there will be SOME point where you wonder if they've thought about cheating or came close. Everybody has those thoughts, even if you're 100% sure they did not cheat, you wonder. However, there is a huge difference in being controlling and checking your partner's text messages one time. There's also a major difference in not trusting and being over stressed or insecure and paranoid every so often. Look at how women are typically treated. Not very well. I'm not saying women don't do just as shitty things as men, but let's face it, it's rare to find a man who doesn't even THINK or LOOK at another woman. If he does those things, why the hell wouldn't his wife/girlfriend suspect him as a cheater? Perfect reason. However, I do think trust should be a top priority and some people have trust issues and insecurities and if a partner is kind and understanding enough to reassure their love, that's great. Snooping can be really bad, but what's more important than critisizing the snooper is why the snooper snoops. Is it because the bastard's cheated before? If so, I would urge anybody to leave. However, if you have broken trust with your love then you have to own up to the consequences and if you expect them to stay with you after breaking trust, you better be ready to prove yourself sometimes IMO.
Beside that, I don't check on my partner. He doesn't check on me. You know why we have it so easy? Because neither of us EVER get involved with the opposite sex. Nope. Unless it's family, we don't cross those lines, those boundaries. That's another thing that should be top priority in a relationship. Boundaries and sticking to em'. I've answered his cell before when he asks me to and he does mine some, but rarely. I'm weird about answering anybody else's phone calls anyways. He tends to leave his LOUD phone in the bedroom after work and usually I'm doing work or school work so I when he gets a lot of calls, I'll see who it is and write it down and turn his phone off and tell him who called later. We usually read our texts to each other anyways if it's interesting. However, we made an effort to keep our phone numbers to a minimum. Mostly family and close friends get our number and we don't use the phone or internet for anything that would be crossing the line.
If you have worries like this, going the route we did isn't a bad idea if you're both happy that way. We made the decision to stay totally away from specific things that would cause problems and that was 5 years ago. It cut down on a lot of drama I'd encountered with EX'S and there's complete trust with us. We don't chat with the oppostite sex so we have the luxury of not having to worry if the other was crossing the line and things like that. It's We apply that to every part of our lives. We still interact and talk to the opposite sex, but are VERY careful. It's worked for us and allowed us to have a peaceful past 5 years where we get to focus on US. less
01/12/2013
Quote:
I'll check it if it goes off and he'snot around
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
01/12/2013
no, I trust my partner.
01/15/2013
No, I never do that. I know I wouldn't find anything and I would just feel guilty about doubting him. There is no appeal to it for me.
02/25/2013
Quote:
no that is something that i have never did before really dont see any need to
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
03/11/2013
No and I never even thought to. The only time I open it up is if he needs help checking his voice mail.
03/12/2013
No, I don't.
03/12/2013
Quote:
no, we are trusting
Originally posted by
Badass
Do you, if so, how aften?
03/12/2013
I have open access to her phone and she to mine. We check each others phones as needed to help each other out (she's always forgetting hers!) but not to snoop.
03/12/2013
I don't check his phone, but I have access to it, as he has to mine and I use his phone at times. But why would I check it? I trust him completely and know that there is no reason to ever doubt him
03/12/2013
I don't go through his phone, to go through his phone. If I'm using it, I'll check out pics, because sometimes he gets good ones of our son.
03/30/2013
No way. And I'd be uncomfortable if he did it on mine without asking. The only reason I'd go through it would be to play games on it (if we agreed that was okay, which we have) any thing else I would find to be an invasion of privacy.
03/31/2013
Without permission from my partner? No way. It's a violation of privacy and trust.
03/31/2013
Only if he asks me to read a message to him. It's his phone, and if I want to use it (to google something or use the GPS) I'll ask his permission.
03/31/2013
The only time I even look at his cell phone is if he either asks me to or if I need to use it. I am of the belief that if you feel the need to start snooping around for possible incriminating evidence then the relationship is already over. Same goes for e-mails and browser history, I never check them either.
04/01/2013
No, I don't. Granted he doesn't even have a cell phone anymore lol, but when he did I didn't look through it. I've always trusted him. (:
05/13/2013
Total posts: 187
Unique posters: 181
