Those kinds of relationships do seem unhealthy to me, but I guess (like you said) it's none of my business. Still... I know several couples that are like that, and I really dislike it. It would be considered abusive and wrong if the husband were the controlling one, and I don't see any reason to think of it differently just because it's the wife & not the husband who is controlling their spouse.

I think it's unhealthy, and most of the husbands with wives like that (that I know, anyway) eventually start to look like they've had the life drained out of them.

My man and I have promised never to treat each other that way. Now, if something traumatic just happened, and one of you needs a little extra care and support that's different - but for those people who just like to pick at each other and control things for no real reason... yeah, it's very unhealthy and not good.

Meh. I wouldn't put up for a curfew, but some people put up with things if they think it's more important to appease their partner. That's really up to them. I mean, if he's unhappy, he should talk it out and leave if she refuses to give him some freedom, but that's between them.

Every relationship is different and there may be some behind the scenes issues that you know nothing about. If this woman is doing this for control issues, why would it suddenly start now? Why is she saying you are 'sinful' after knowing you and being your friend in the past? Could she be insecure about fidelity from her husband and maybe he has pushed boundaries in their relationship. I am just supposing--sometimes things happen to change the relationship and others are left in the dark.

On the other hand, maybe she likes to choose different areas of their life to control and run and if her hubby goes along with it and does not stand up for himself, then part of the blame has to fall on him as well.

Just a side note--I am the main driver in our family since I like to drive and find it relaxing. About 3 years ago I decided out of the blue I was not driving home anymore. My hubby was going to drive us. End of story--I would not change my mind. There was no reason except for me being uncomfortable about driving the way home. I obviously would when I was alone coming home from work, but hated every second of it. 4 months later I had a near fatal accident that was not my fault. It was on the way home at a dangerous intersection. Maybe this is going on with her? Now it does not bother me to drive home. I do not know what to think about the whole thing--but it was one experience I have had.

"to let..."

This is my whole point. If I, a 30-something year old woman, were to decide to walk out the door at midnight to go to a bar and hang out with my friends, that is my choice. Same with my husband. If he were to decide to go out and hang out with someone at whatever time, I'm okay with it.

If we don't have a sitter, and both of us have plans, then one of us has to postpone our plans. Or, if one of us has been out several nights during the week, we might voice a desire to have the other stay home. But the concept of ALLOWING one person to do something or not do something is ridiculous to us

Sadly, I suspect that for many controlling spouses, a big part of it is mental illness.