Defending your spouse from the "Ex"

Contributor: jmex83 jmex83
I was wondering, who out there has ever dealt with this situation? How did you handle it?

Heres my situation: Tonight, my wife wanted to confront her ex husband about the blow up that he had on the phone Saturday night with her. She was concerned about their daughter-physical issue- and he said basically "Don't tell him how to raise or take care of her-its not your problem" and she was trying to stay calm and he starts yelling at her on the phone about her "Bitching at him" and yadda yadda.

So then we get there to drop the kids off tonight and she said that she wanted to talk to him to clear the air and any misunderstandings-she was TRYING to be adult about it. She was calm (from what she tells me-I stayed in the car-not my place to get involved with this sort of mess.) and she said that he started yelling at her about how she was bitching at him and that she was not the one to make the ultimate decision about them going tot he drs and what not.

Long story short-He's being an ass. She is trying to be a good mom. They live with him during the week and we get them weekends/holidays/summ er vaca ect. She is LIVID, rightfully so. She is going to be filing for custody this week. She has had it with his neglect and righteous attitude and how he is on "His parental high horse" as she says lol.

So Im wondering-How do I handle this? Part of me wants to get involved, and tell him just what an ass he is being and totally give it to him. On the other hand, I know its not my place, other than to be there for her when he makes her upset.

So, have you been in this situation? What did you do? How should I tend to this issue?
05/21/2012
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Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I think if there is real risk of physical violence, etc... I would handle it through lawyers, the police, and so forth - people who have the legal right, duty and training to deal with those kinds of situations.

From what I've seen, these situations rarely improve through "trying to clear the air" on your own... which is sad.
05/21/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
I went through a similar situation with my ex. It got to the point where I had to go to court and file a third-party communication order. All communication went through his mom, who volunteered, so I would not get abused verbally from him anymore. Little did I know, he turned the verbal abuse on my daughter. The few times my husband got involved created issues between him and I--my daughter and him--and made my court situations a bit more difficult. So I would suggest talking to your wife about the situation and asking her advice. You do not want to alienate her other kids, sounds like they might need you. Good luck and eventually this situation improves.....the kids turn 18 faster than what you think!!
05/22/2012