My partner has to get up before dawn, but I work from home. I'm a night-owl and prefer to stay up. Sometimes he's too tired for sex, or sometimes I don't feel completely "done."
Either case, I tend to masturbate before bed. I have chronic insomnia, so it helps me relax.
We are in a D/s thing, so I always tell him when I do. He sleeps like a rock, so I can honestly take a small quiet vibrator or just manually masturbate right next to him and if he wakes up, we have sex. If not, I am satisfied and I know he'll be ready for me when he gets off work.
Unless it was a D/s situation, I would NEVER be able to handle someone who was upset by my self-loving. It's a physical need like eating. People can be really irrational, and I mean both men and women, about this topic.