The New Intimacy

He wants to "use a toy" on me.

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Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Ok. So my sweetie does't wanna have sex before marriage and he said he would rather use a toy on me.. meaning one of my dildos. I have two so far.. my favorite which is softer is rather thick. Should I go for the thinner dildo as to not intimidate?

I could always buy a new one between now and then which an average girth.

What do you guys think? Is your man intimidated by a dildo which might have more girth than him?
08/07/2011
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Contributor: potstickers potstickers
Perhaps ask him to choose which toy he'd like to use on you? Talking about it could also lead to a conversation about other fun things you could do together.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Fuck it. Fuck it.
Mine doesn't get intimidated by any of my toys. I'd talk about it and let him pick one. Try both, even.
08/07/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
Never experienced that one, but if he is, and ya'll don't mind spending a good amount on a new toy, I'd say you might wanna look into the Lelo Liv. Very non-intimidating size, but still 'filling' enough for the user.

Usually they've just been so excited to use the toy on me that they didn't care what the toy was like. LOL. I know some people can really feel threatened by them, though, which I think is silly because we all know nothing compares to the real thing, but I know about when you gotta be mindful of your partners emotions.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Thanks for the comments. I'm going to sit him down and have the conversation with him. I'd rather have a slightly above average toy but I don't want to intimidate him at all.

I basically had a guy in the past when talking about toys he said..

"If it is wider or longer than me, I am throwing it away."
08/07/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
My boyfriend has never been intimidated by them, although he always compares them to himself when he uses them on me. We had a talk in the past about how I like my dildos slightly bigger because it doesn't have all of the perks of being a real penis and he understood. I would talk to him about it and show him what you have and let him choose.
08/07/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by potstickers
Perhaps ask him to choose which toy he'd like to use on you? Talking about it could also lead to a conversation about other fun things you could do together.
Yeah, I agree with this. Talking about it is the best way to go, especially since your guy is the one who brought it up! Hope all goes well!
08/07/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
Go with your favourite. No point holding back and limiting your enjoyment for his sake. Besides, he's going to find out sooner or later.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
He seems pretty cocky (hehe) about his size so I doubt he can be phased with stuff. I havent seen it so I can't compare that well but we'll see I guess.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
He seems pretty cocky (hehe) about his size so I doubt he can be phased with stuff. I havent seen it so I can't compare that well but we'll see I guess.
So how did it go? Which did you choose?
08/25/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
My man uses my vibrator on me sometimes. I like it more when he does it than when I do.
09/08/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
Ok. So my sweetie does't wanna have sex before marriage and he said he would rather use a toy on me.. meaning one of my dildos. I have two so far.. my favorite which is softer is rather thick. Should I go for the thinner dildo as to not ... more
Why would a thick toy intimidate him? My Man likes to use toys on me that I enjoy using. A mature man will not be intimidated by a sex toy, no matter what the size.

Don't create a situation where you are always on eggshells trying not to "offend" him. Sweetie, it's no way to start a marriage or anything healthy for a relationship. If he's worth having, he will be mature enough and care enough about YOUR sexual happiness to use any toy YOU think is the most fun.

My Man is not intimidated by any toy. He knows I love him and that the toys are just tools. He's just happy to make me feel good, as I am to make him feel good.

You are setting the foundation for your future marriage NOW. Don't tip toe around, or you'll be tip toeing all your life. If he's a man (not a little boy) he can take it and it won't bother him. HIS main concern should be YOUR happiness and sexual satisfaction. If he's intimidated by a large sex toy, I'd investigate what other areas he isn't mature in.

Good luck.
09/08/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Why would a thick toy intimidate him? My Man likes to use toys on me that I enjoy using. A mature man will not be intimidated by a sex toy, no matter what the size.

Don't create a situation where you are always on eggshells trying not to ... more
Yay! Thanks P'Gell. We did have the talk and he doesn't mind thick toys but also his trip was delayed a month, sadly. We're also talking about not expecting to be sexual on the first meeting because it might set a tone for our relationship.. he is very religious and he didn't want anything to get between us. Gonna try and take it slow.

I think the thick toy would intimidate because he says he isn't that thick. I haven't seen it so I don't know. But You're completely right.. Though sadly all the points kind of say a lot about my relationship as is.. I do always walk on eggshells around him cause of his huge temper but he's getting better about it.
09/08/2011
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Ok - never been in this spot as I'm married to the first guy I ever kissed or have been with!

But if it were me - I'd probably show him my toy drawer and close my eyes and say "pick and surprise me"...
09/29/2011