Wow. I cannot imagine how tough of a position that is! I want to say though, you're clearly brave and strong already for being able to see that something is not right and be able to know that you need to go on. That's brave, my friend! I so hate this for you. I think it's really mature of you though, to go about it like this. I mean, to be so considerate of his feelings still and acknowledge that it needs to end. I get that you're stuck at the actually how to end it part. I would be too, but it seems like you've really made it a long way already. I cannot say I know what you're going through because I do not, but I can only imagine how difficult this must be. I know it'd have me torn apart.

Another thing, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with guilt and "I told you so's." In my opinion, it's never OK to do the "I told you so" when someone is hurting.

By the sounds of your tone, it sounds like you're at an Ok point. What I mean by that is, you don't seem angry or like you're overreacting. You seem to be looking for a real way to handle this up front, honest and with maturity when it'd be so easy to just run away or find an easier way out. You aren't looking for someone else to come fix things, you acknowledged that you have to do it. That's so good of you. Most females I know would simply go out and cheat right in front of the guy just to have their marriage ended. I'm not joking either. I've SEEN it happen a few times with females I know around my age.

I think clearly, you sound like a good, kind hearted person.

Also, I am terribly sorry about your miscarriage. Jesus do I know what that's like. I lost both of my children and my OB/GYN said I won't ever be able to carry to full-term. Somethin' in me still can't believe that and write off any chance 100%, but I accepted it and we ended up with lovely children who aren't ours biologically, but ours nonetheless.

Sorry, I stray from one topic to the other so much.

I know it's gotta be so hard, but I hope you can somehow find a way to not let what your relatives say critical wise, hurt you. The last thing you need right now on top of this is someone to put more of a guilt load on you or make you feel even more wrong. Honestly, I understand guilt, but you're handling this the RIGHT way by deciding to do what's right for you, and I surely wish your relatives would just praise you for that rather than put you down. I guess family has a way of doing things though.

Is there any way you could avoid spending a lot of time with the critical family members? I have a fam member who has nearly killed me, and I finally had to distance myself from her, as badly as that hurts. It's awful, but in situations like what you're going through, it may be best to avoid the people who are hateful to you until you've gone through with your situation. Maybe you could make plans for each day you'd normally be around your parents. Maybe plan to only be around them for an hour and then run off with a good friend. The pool? Tanning bed? Shopping? Those are things that help me out a lot when I'm overly stressed. Something about the tanning bed is like meditation for me. I can be a mess and come out of the tanning bed a new person. Find something that relaxes you and make a plan to spend a day or some time doing that. For some people, like me, during a very hard time, keeping busy, surrounding yourself with people who are happy, really funny and understanding is really helpful.

It sounds like you have a big heart and really care about what your loved ones think. I'm the same way. I couldn't care less about what most people think, but when it comes to my loved ones, they can cut me down quicker than anything with simple words. I know it's so hard to not worry about how they are going to react, but I hope you're able to put yourself first this time. It will make things easier on you.

What do you do for fun, to blow off steam? You could spend some time throughout this process to do some of those things. It can be hard to finally get motivated and just do, but you really might feel much better. For me, a writer, when I'm very upset or going through something devastating, I'll bury myself in my work. If I'm hurt or angry, I attack my fitness pole until I'm exhausted to blow off steam. It won't make this go away, but on the days where you're really overwhelmed, there may be something like that that can calm you a bit.

You will be in my thoughts. I wish you the very best with this and I sure hope you're able to think of yourself throughout this. Find the right time to tell him. I know it won't be easy. And worry about you and only you for a while. Try to be civil and possibly still be friends if that's something YOU want. I hope all works out well.