The New Intimacy

If you found your partner's old sex tapes..?

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Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
If you stumbled over your partner's old sex tapes what would you do?

What if you found them along with a video camera and you suspected that your partner had been watching them?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Wouldn't care, leave them
1  (2%)
Watch them
13  (31%)
Hide them
Throw them away
2  (5%)
Confront your partner
20  (48%)
Other
6  (14%)
Total votes: 42
Poll is closed
02/03/2013
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Contributor: SydVicious SydVicious
I would always ask my partner before I jumped to any conclusions.
02/03/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by evie.amor
If you stumbled over your partner's old sex tapes what would you do?

What if you found them along with a video camera and you suspected that your partner had been watching them?
I would definitely confront him. Considering we've been together almost 7 years, it'd be real strange for him to hold onto ex's tapes like that. I'd have expected them to be tossed, but I think I'd be less furious than if I found actual pornography in his posession. I mean, an ex is a real person who he is linked to in some way, so if it was in the beginning of our relationship, I would confront him for sure, but not be as worried as if he'd held onto them after years of us being together.
02/03/2013
Contributor: ginnyluvspotter ginnyluvspotter
Mine doesnt have any old tapes
02/03/2013
Contributor: everydaypassion everydaypassion
I want to be as honest as possible and say that I would be pretty upset. After being in a relationship and living together 6years now with no kids, I think it would be a little painful for me to confront him, and hear his answer. Then the other part of me is like......call her and tell her to come over and lets three have fun..... It would probably be akward, and i probably would feel self concious but if its what hes into i would try to be open and include myself in some way.
02/03/2013
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Hell as opposed to upset, I'd want to ask my partner if we could watch it together.
I don't have a problem with my partner having had a life before me. For that partner to still have positive feelings for an Ex is an indication that she is a good person. Having feelings of hatred for your Ex(s) is not a good thing.
02/03/2013
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by SydVicious
I would always ask my partner before I jumped to any conclusions.
Me too. I would bring it up to him, but not in a confrontational way. I would want to spark conversation/communica tion rather than an argument.
02/03/2013
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by evie.amor
If you stumbled over your partner's old sex tapes what would you do?

What if you found them along with a video camera and you suspected that your partner had been watching them?
I'd watch and think it's kinda hot.
02/03/2013
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
I would watch them, then talk to them about it.
02/04/2013
Contributor: The Vixen The Vixen
I'd be upset if my husband had been hanging onto something like that. I'd most definitely have a talk right away.
02/04/2013
Contributor: bratcat bratcat
i'd confront my partner about it and figure it out from there - weather to get rid of them, watch them together, or see why they feel the need to watch them if he had been.
02/04/2013
Contributor: Cowgirl-Cutie Cowgirl-Cutie
I'd confront them. I'd be angry at first so I'd have to really calm down before I did it.
02/04/2013
Contributor: FLIPxMODE FLIPxMODE
confront her then throw them away
02/04/2013
Contributor: Mrs.Tee Mrs.Tee
Quote:
Originally posted by evie.amor
If you stumbled over your partner's old sex tapes what would you do?

What if you found them along with a video camera and you suspected that your partner had been watching them?
I would definetely watch them and then let them know that i watched them
02/04/2013
Contributor: joiedejouets joiedejouets
I would watch them and then tell them about it
02/04/2013
Contributor: DixieDoo DixieDoo
I would ask him about why he still has the tapes, did he watch them, and if so, why did he watch his old tapes.
02/04/2013
Contributor: CountryPrincess CountryPrincess
I would probably get fairly upset confront him and get rid of them
02/04/2013
Contributor: jr2012 jr2012
I would definitely ask about it, in the interest of full disclosure. Truthfulness is very important to the both of us....but we don't need to have a fight over it!
02/04/2013
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Dunno what I'd do, but I'd probably ask her about it
02/04/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
What if you've been together for a couple years and when you asked them about it they said "its not like they're something you can just throw away"

I guess I feel like if you're serious about someone you should get rid of your old tapes and make new ones.
02/05/2013
Contributor: Rory Rory
That is a funny thought!! My husband doesn't have any if he did I would know because I would have been in them.
02/05/2013
Contributor: Munko Munko
It was a huge deal to me when my SO was ready and able to ditch mementos of his ex (none were sex tapes, he unfortunately isn't into that kind of thing! )

I think if he held on to them, and made it an issue of letting them go, I'd be concerned. I understand exes are parts of life, however there are many ways to keep memories of them in your life (cards, pictures, whatever) graphic sex tapes, especially if hidden in secret, would be a red flag to me. I'd feel as if he were still hung up on her, and unsure about us - I feel if you're completely comfortable and committed to someone, you no longer need to hang on to those reminders of the past.
02/05/2013
Contributor: petlove0311 petlove0311
id watch them
02/05/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
First we would have a discussion, and then I'd probably asker her to destroy them. The thought of watching them is hot, but not sure if I'd want to.
02/06/2013
Contributor: Cosmonaut Cosmonaut
Watch them with him then show him mine, haha.
02/06/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
Talk to him about it. It would give me clearer insight to his fantasies even more so than just talking. Then I would watch them with him, there might be something I'd like to try that he has on video.
02/06/2013
Contributor: Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by evie.amor
If you stumbled over your partner's old sex tapes what would you do?

What if you found them along with a video camera and you suspected that your partner had been watching them?
That would be a conversation worth having in my opinion.
02/07/2013
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
I voted confront, but I would just bring it up. Why make assumptions when I can open my mouth & ask?
02/07/2013
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
Quote:
Originally posted by Cosmonaut
Watch them with him then show him mine, haha.
I like that answer..lol
02/07/2013