International Marriage Brokering

Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Now I know this is topic may become very passionate, so I just want to ask everyone to remain calm and take a few breaths if you feel the heat raise and remain civil! I am sure we will have no problems

So last night I was watching this show on the National Geographic channel, it was called Email Order Bride. It showed a few men who used International Marriage Brokers in order to find a wife from another country (in this case, Russia). One man waited for 3 hours at the air port terminal for his bride to be, I thought for sure he had been scammed, but 3 hours later she came walking in. The two would later get married.

So i am sure you all are aware of what a mail order bride is, anyway, there are a few services where men can meet women from other countries and marry them?

When watching this, I have to say I am a little uneasy with any kind of transaction involving people. When the term Mail order bride comes up, in mind, it has a lot of negative thoughts. I think of slavery, sex slavery, and the selling of human flesh. Right or wrong, those are the thoughts that pop up into my head when I hear the term. Maybe that shows a little bit about my intelligence, I don't know.

I am always interested in getting to know other people from other countries and cultures, but when you order a person on the internet that basically is there so that you can start a family with is a little bit iffy for me. At what point does it become wrong? If it were something like a dating site I could really understand that.

According to the program one of the sites worked like a dating site, and the men took trips over to the country and got to know the women. That sounds a tad bit like a dating site I suppose.

There was a story on this program about a guy, he went to another country and bought a wife. In his home videos they should, to me, he seemed to treat her like a pet. He commented on how pretty and young she was (she was 18). You could tell that the young woman was not attracted to the guy, every time he turned to kiss her she would pretty much just turn away to avoid it. The story went on to take a more tragic turn, and they found the woman's body in the woods. The guy murdered her, and his reason was "She said I was too fat, and did not want to have sex with me". So that is one story on the negative side, the state of Washington would make a state Law to help prevent this in the future.

So I think the way I feel is, getting to know someone from another country is great, but I am not sure about this whole idea. I just don't know a lot about it.

So I thought I would see if anyone else happened to see the show, and if anyone else had any thoughts or comments. Anyone been part of an international marriage brokering? Maybe someone has a story about this?

I seek knowledge and understanding, and I am curious on other peoples thoughts and experiences.
01/20/2011
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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I have the same general thoughts when I hear the term "mail order bride." I watch a lot of TruTV (formerly CourtTV) and I've seen plenty of specials on the mail order bride that didn't love her husband and ended up being found in the woods. It's really saddening.

I would be interested in seeing the special that you watched however, is there a link for it somewhere? I don't get that particular channel unfortunately
01/21/2011
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I have the same general thoughts when I hear the term "mail order bride." I watch a lot of TruTV (formerly CourtTV) and I've seen plenty of specials on the mail order bride that didn't love her husband and ended up being found in ... more
I believe this is the link to the show Email Order Bride it is NATGeo's main web site.

I won't lie, meeting woman from other places sounds great, but thats as far as I am willing to go. Meeting guys from other countries is great too! I have met people from all over the world, (Estonia, Malaysia, UK, Scotland) just from Video games. I have met some people here also. Its always nice to meet new people!
01/21/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I have seen the very same documentary, but a long time ago so I don't remember all the details. I would certainly never participate in such an activity, and I feel rather uneasy about the whole thing too. But, it seems like maybe it differs from sex trafficking because the women put themselves on the website by their own choice, and are of legal age. Whereas with human/sex trafficking the people are sold/forced into it and are generally underage.

Still though, you are putting yourself in a potentially life threatening situation, as the documentary showed. Sad for that girl, she was probably just trying to make a better life for herself.
01/21/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I think it's a fine idea if you can trust the company you're going through and don't end up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire.

If you look at it historically, this is closer to the original concept of marriage than what happens every day in Vegas: Two people entering into a binding legal contract with expectations and penalties agreed upon ahead of time.
01/21/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I watched a different documentary on mail order brides a few years ago. No one was murdered but the outcomes weren't good. I know two men who bought mail order brides. One I lost track of and the other is now divorced.

I just don't think they work in America where people expect to be compatible with their spouses. We don't have the idea of arranged marriages where you work out a system to make living together work without the expectation of being romantically in love.

My boss is from India and is in an arranged marriage. He said you're required to stay together for seven years just to make sure you put at least that much effort into making it work.

I'm definitely watching the documentary you watched.
01/21/2011
Contributor: Rarity Rarity
I saw the programme on the dating service that allows men to travel to foreign countries to meet lots of local women and find one they have a connection with. This doesn't sound so bad compared to the actual ordering of women with plans to marry them. Arranging a marriage for yourself with a person you've never met or have gotten to know seems just a tad risky.
01/24/2011