Do you believe that monogamy is natural or unnatural for humans?

i can be for some not for others

I believe that it is primal to breed therefore being with one does not breed the most. So I think that as we have evolved as a species that we have developed need to be with one. Both are natural.

Technically speaking, "monogamy" means mating for life. Realistically, more humans practice serial monogamy, in which they have one exclusive relationship at a time. (The life expectancy of marriage, for instance, is something like ten years.)

But I think the scientific evidence shows that we are wired for either serial monogamy (often with occasional flings), or for polyamory. As higher-order beings, we are capable of denying what our bodies and minds naturally crave (e.g., doughnuts. Too much of a good thing!) However, we are also able to construct complex social systems in which keeping up with each relationship becomes an important part of our lives and identities. The popularity of any teen drama will support this idea.

I don't know if I believe ANYTHING is "natural" or "unnatural" for humans... there's so much variety. Humans are complex!

I don't know if I believe ANYTHING is "natural" or "unnatural" for humans... there's so much variety. Humans are complex!

Monogamy is a man-made thing, and varies per person. I'd never want to be in a sexually closed, monogamous relationship, I'd be sexually frustrated.

I am,however, sort of emotionally monogamous, I feel the strongest about the person I'm dating right now but I do care for a friend with benefits that seems to exceed the 'friend' level.

I think its natural for us to want it but sometimes hard for us to stick to it.

Well it's a tough thing for me to say. Initially I think no, but I also think initially we had more of a 'tribal' lifestyle where things like raising children was a group effort and the weight wasn't placed on just two people. That to me does not mean that there wasn't that 'extra special' connection between just two, but it may have been not as large of an aspect.

Today it's an odd topic, firstly the only times I've seen polyandry come up on major media is when referencing a Fundamentalist Mormon woman who wanted to escape with her kids. It made it seem horrific, they made it a very victim heavy situation with that case. Then you see it in pornography and it's a very sexual thing, which many may see as immoral.

So the current general public's views on it has reasons for it to be given a negative glance. I think that keeps people from taking a step back from everything and calculating on a completely neutral base.

Then again maybe my opinion has distorted my view, the fiance and I have discussed many times if we ever met a girl we both loved and wanted, and she felt the same for us we would have a 'group marriage'. I have a friend who's in the same type of relationship, two bi-women and a straight man, they're raising two children together and are some of the happiest people I know.

Sum it up with I think it was possible to be natural, but so natural it wasn't looked at as odd. I think the way modern day portrays it makes it seem very unnatural.

In a general sense, I tend to agree with a theory I heard describing humans as "serial monogamists" (pairing with several partners over a lifetime but only one at a time) based on size.

Generally, species in which one animal is much larger than another (say, gorillas) are not monogamous at all, while species in which the males and females are of the same size (say, bald eagles) tend to be much more monogamous.

Male humans being, on average, slightly larger than female humans suggests monogamy with cheating, or serial monogamy.

I don't think it's either. It appears to be a natural drive in most people to have desire for more than one partner in their lives. It also seems to be a natural drive in most people to feel jealous of and possessive of their intimate partners.

Monogamy is definitely not just a societal construct, given how many animals practice monogamy, but it doesn't mean it's innate for all humans. It's definitely not unnatural, but may or may not be a good thing for any randomly selected individual.

i think it's very situational

No, I think in order to keep the gene pool deep, we are driven to be with one person for about 2 or 3 years, which is when the "magic" wears off, and just enough time for a couple of babies, then move onto a different partner and do it over. No, I do not think monogamy is natural.

I said other mainly because, like arguments about sexual orientation and gender expression, I just don't care either way. Everyone is free to do whatever they (consensually) want to and I don't think there is a right or wrong or better or worse or more or less natural way to be.

To me, it depends on the sex. I think it's easier for one sex over the other! Or so it seems.

I think monogamy is unnatural in the same sense that it's unnatural to be a vegetarian. If you choose it, and feel strongly about it, then it's certainly within the capabilities of most people to do it. But that doesn't mean it's easy or that you'll never be tempted by a particularly sexy slice of bacon.

It's entirely UN-natural for me. I only get jealous when my lovers (all long-distance) aren't having sex with ME! THAT is my definition of "cheating". What they do in their spare time is their own business.

I just finished reading the book Sex at Dawn. I HIGHLY recommend it. I think humans are naturally social creatures, and sometimes that desire for being social manifests itself in a desire for multiple emotional/sexual partners. It's a matter of putting aside years of societal pressure to be monogamous, not a lack of maturity, that leads one (at least me) to polyamory.

I think it can be entirely dependent on the person, though arguably that could be based more on how they were raised than biology.
I don't think it's unnatural, but I also don't think it's unnatural to be polyamorous.

I think it depends on the individuals.

Reading thru these answers and everyone has some valid points. I don't think polyamory is wrong or right. I have not experienced it and I don't care how others love.

I said other because I don't think either is natural or unnatural. I think it depends on the person in question. I also think that people's ideas of what poly and mono are aren't necessarily the same through-out the world. *shrugs*

Psychology tells us that what makes us different from animals is our judgment. We are naturally jealous beings.

Since we are living things and meant to reproduce I'd say polyamory would be more 'natural' but it depends on the person and their beliefs.

I think so-called "serial monogamy" is what we're more of less wired for. But we have free will and rational thought so we can form relationships however we want.