The New Intimacy

Do you have a sexual fantasy that you can't share with your partner?

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Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Me and my husband are very open with each other when it comes to talking about sex and fantasies. I fulfill every fantasy that he has. But there is one, well two fantasies that I have that I don't think he would go for. In fact, I think he would blow up if I asked him about it.

So what should I do? Has this ever happened to you? How did it turn out? Should I just forget about my fantasies and go ahead and just keep fulfilling his?
04/05/2011
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Contributor: Lucidity Lucidity
Why do you feel he would "blow up" if you asked him about them?
04/05/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
I have fantasies, I haven't told him like any. Because I'm very shy. We've been together like over 3 years, but I don't know.
04/05/2011
Contributor: Madeira Madeira
Quote:
Originally posted by Joie de Cherresse
Me and my husband are very open with each other when it comes to talking about sex and fantasies. I fulfill every fantasy that he has. But there is one, well two fantasies that I have that I don't think he would go for. In fact, I think he ... more
Um, well in my past relationships there were things I was uncomfortable telling my partners, but with my current girlfriend I tell basically everything. Um, well he might have a few he's not telling you too, so um, maybe ask if he has any that he's not told you... and if he has both write one down and exchange them
04/05/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
Why do you feel he would "blow up" if you asked him about them?
Because I know he'd never go for it. And he'd get mad at me for wanting it I'm sure. He wants a MFF, and I'm totally ok with that. I'm looking for the right lady to join us. But I kinda want an MFM, but I think he'd get mad at me for wanting it. I've had one before, but I was drunk and couldn't enjoy it. I want to enjoy it with him. And there's one more fantasy that I have, but I know he'd never go for that one either.
04/05/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I have fantasies, I haven't told him like any. Because I'm very shy. We've been together like over 3 years, but I don't know.
OMG, girl, how do you do it? Has he told you any of his fantasies? What's keeping you from telling him, other than the fact that you're shy?
04/07/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Quote:
Originally posted by Madeira
Um, well in my past relationships there were things I was uncomfortable telling my partners, but with my current girlfriend I tell basically everything. Um, well he might have a few he's not telling you too, so um, maybe ask if he has any that ... more
That's a good idea. But I think he's told me all of his fantasies. I've asked him that before. But I know I get new fantasies sometimes, so I guess I could ask him again.
04/07/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
Sometimes fantasies are more fun to think about than to actually live out. I tell my hubby all of mine, but if it is crazy out there it just goes without saying that I am sharing to be open and not with the expectation we will make it happen.
04/07/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
We share all of our fantasies, even if the other person wouldn't go for it. If thats the case, we just talk about it.
04/07/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
We talk about our fantasies too. I've told him all of mine, and I hope he's told me all of his. We act some of them out, but some are more fun as just a fantasy.

I don't really see any reason for anyone to get mad over a fantasy - worst case scenario it isn't your cup of tea so you tell your partner you don't want to do it. But to actually get mad over seems odd to me. Maybe if you explain it to him the way you just explained it here? Because it doesn't sound so bad the way you explained it here. Best wishes!
04/07/2011
Contributor: EastCoast36 EastCoast36
I agree with indiglo. I guess fantasy means different things to different people, but does it have to be acted out completely or can it be something to turn you on when you fantasize in your mind?



Obviously you and your husband have discussed an open relationship, so I agree that a mad reaction from him would be odd based on his desire for a MFF. I also know where you are coming from, because I have a DP fantasy. My fantasy would only involve a toy with my wife, but I'm a little afraid to share it with her too.



Good luck. It seems you don't have too much to worry about in what sounds like a relationship with lots of open communication.
04/07/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
I tend to keep my fantasies to myself because they aren't necessarily things I would want to act out or share. Maybe someday but right now, they are little things that I keep for me and enjoy them in my own time.
04/07/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Quote:
Originally posted by EastCoast36
I agree with indiglo. I guess fantasy means different things to different people, but does it have to be acted out completely or can it be something to turn you on when you fantasize in your mind?







Obviously you and ... more
Thanks for the positive words.

I have some great news! We finally talked about it again last night, and this time about actually fulfilling this fantasy of mine. I'm so excited! So for now it's still just a fantasy of both of ours, but will be a fulfilled one some day! YAY!
04/25/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Joie de Cherresse
Because I know he'd never go for it. And he'd get mad at me for wanting it I'm sure. He wants a MFF, and I'm totally ok with that. I'm looking for the right lady to join us. But I kinda want an MFM, but I think he'd get ... more
Do you think that it's fair for him to be "mad at" you for wanting a MMF threesome if he has felt completely comfortable sharing his fantasy (and requesting fulfillment of) of a FFM threesome? That sounds like a double standard, and I think that if anyone should be mad at anyone, it should be you. I know that I would be very frustrated if I felt my partner had shared all of his fantasies with me without inhibition (as you said yours has above) but I had not enjoyed the same privilege.
04/25/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I am glad you've been able to fulfill a fantasy of both of yours. I hope you keep talking and get them all done.
04/25/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Joie de Cherresse
Me and my husband are very open with each other when it comes to talking about sex and fantasies. I fulfill every fantasy that he has. But there is one, well two fantasies that I have that I don't think he would go for. In fact, I think he ... more
As long as you are clear that it just that, a fantasy, he has no basis for getting mad. Also, it might surprise you to learn that he might have the same fantasy, again, just a fantasy, that he is frightened to share as well. For instance, perhaps you have a "force" fantasy, or a "threesome" or a whatever. You can read to each other about it, watch a video about it, or he can simply set up a scene that "pretends" to be it.
04/25/2011
Contributor: amandaco2011 amandaco2011
We share our fantasies and talk about it. The bedroom is a safe zone with no judgments.
04/25/2011
Contributor: CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
Quote:
Originally posted by Joie de Cherresse
Because I know he'd never go for it. And he'd get mad at me for wanting it I'm sure. He wants a MFF, and I'm totally ok with that. I'm looking for the right lady to join us. But I kinda want an MFM, but I think he'd get ... more
Hey, if he wants a MFF, then its only fair not to get mad at you wanting a MFM. Who knows he might think that it would be hot but didn't want to say anything.
04/25/2011
Contributor: gorgeous gorgeous
We share our fantasies with each other. Being in a relationship means being able to tell them everything and what will make you happy.
04/28/2012