It's time for a New Contest!

Contributor: LilithRoseXxX LilithRoseXxX
So when I first turned 18 I went out and bought the biggest realistic doc Johnson vibrating dildo I could get..it was at least 10-12 inches. and I thought i was gonna use it...definitely did not. It was not even comfortable for inserting way to firm and large. But me and my bff decided to use it as a gag toy. Any time a boy wanted anal from us we would be like only if we can fuck you first, and we would pull out that bad boy. We had at least two boys take off running away from us with us chasing them! Best thing ever, that toy ended up being worth the money spent for it.
09/27/2016
Contributor: LilithRoseXxX LilithRoseXxX
then there is my pink furry butt plug. My bfs daughter is real into animals and like wearing ears and what not. Well she goes thru my things and found my butt plug and I get home and she is wearing it. Not in her butt thank god she don't know what the hell that bulb is for, but tucked into her pants! (also i luckily have the bulb wrapped in a plastic packing material and rubber band) But i was like ummm that one is special i'll buy you one that clips onto your pants. So awkward, luckily i avoided explaining it, but it still was the worst coming home to a 11yr old playing with a sex toy.
09/27/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by LilithRoseXxX
So when I first turned 18 I went out and bought the biggest realistic doc Johnson vibrating dildo I could get..it was at least 10-12 inches. and I thought i was gonna use it...definitely did not. It was not even comfortable for inserting way to firm ... more
I used to have a dildo like that. I would put it in the shower when I was married so I could scare my idiot ex-husband's friends with it.
09/27/2016
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by LilithRoseXxX
then there is my pink furry butt plug. My bfs daughter is real into animals and like wearing ears and what not. Well she goes thru my things and found my butt plug and I get home and she is wearing it. Not in her butt thank god she don't know ... more
I'm thinking in few yrs, she will know what it was really for.
09/27/2016
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by Sugarfina
I used to have a dildo like that. I would put it in the shower when I was married so I could scare my idiot ex-husband's friends with it.
Now what if they decided to use it instead ?
09/27/2016
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by LilithRoseXxX
So when I first turned 18 I went out and bought the biggest realistic doc Johnson vibrating dildo I could get..it was at least 10-12 inches. and I thought i was gonna use it...definitely did not. It was not even comfortable for inserting way to firm ... more
So had at least 2 run away? Any takers though? I hope you also had a bottle of lube in your other hand.
09/27/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Now what if they decided to use it instead ?
Oh lord have mercy. That thing was huge. That would be scary haha.
09/28/2016
Contributor: Lena Eden Lena Eden
I can't believe there were so many amusing stories you had with your sex toys, guys!

Is there anyone who's still keeping his funny moments in secret? C'mon, let's have a laugh together!!

I'll call the winner on Monday, so you still have time to let us know your story and chances to get the Wand Massager and attachments
09/29/2016
Contributor: AmyM AmyM
My funny story is one my neighbors shared in. I have a purple dildo that lights up and vibrates. I noticed one day that it wasn't where I normally keep it. After searching high and low, I finally asked my daughters, who where 9 & 7 at the time, if they had seen something purple that lights up and shakes in their hand. Their response was priceless. They said "Oh yeah, that's in the front yard. We were using it as the magic wand from Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney. It's really cool, Mom!" I was mortified, lol. My neighbor got such a kick out of it that she made a card for her Cards for Humanity game that simply states "Wizards of Waverly Place" and if anyone plays it they pretty much always win that round. I remember we were playing it at a party and it was played by one of her friends and we died laughing and she looked at me and yelled, "OMG, you're the Wizards lady! I almost peed my pants when I heard that!" It's now been 6 years and it's still the running neighborhood joke.
09/29/2016
Contributor: Panda502 Panda502
I don't know that I can beat the Aussie's stories, but this one is quite embarrassing too...

My ex-gf used to live in an off-campus house with about 10 other people, where everyone had their own room. One night we decided to sanitize our Strapless Strap-on by boiling it, so we borrowed the biggest pot in the kitchen. We get it boiling on the stove, dildo in the pot, when her Korean housemates come home. Being past 11pm on a "school night", we figured they would just go to their rooms and go to bed. Nope. They came to the kitchen to grab a snack and strike up conversation with us! They asked what we were cooking so late, so we had to make something up and try not to blush too hard. Luckily, they never found out what was really boiling that night!

I also once found tiny vibrators at the Dollar Store when shopping with a friend. I had to tell the cashier they were for a bachelorette party because I bought like 6. Vibrators for 99¢? Yes, please!
09/29/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by Panda502
I don't know that I can beat the Aussie's stories, but this one is quite embarrassing too...

My ex-gf used to live in an off-campus house with about 10 other people, where everyone had their own room. One night we decided to sanitize ... more
That's so cool about the tiny vibrators. I've been trying to find teenie weenies for sale for forever - tiny dildos that companies make from scraps. I was wondering if anyone knew where I could find any.
09/30/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by AmyM
My funny story is one my neighbors shared in. I have a purple dildo that lights up and vibrates. I noticed one day that it wasn't where I normally keep it. After searching high and low, I finally asked my daughters, who where 9 & 7 at the ... more
Oh my gosh. I missed this one. That is too funny!
09/30/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
I remember ages ago I had won one of those cleaner for a month competitions where you get a person to come out once a week for two hour to clean your home.

It was a team of three and so I let them have at it and they did everything.

Bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, etc. It was on the third visit that I had been in a rush to pack away the "naughty stuff" from the night before.

I just shoved a whole lot of glass toys into a box and left it under my wooden dining table.

So I go outside and come back in two hours later and here is one of the girls polishing my wooden table.

And artistically set up in the middle of said table, was all of my glass toys.

It looked kinda good, as none of them looked phallic in anyway whatsoever.

But there was a line of butt plugs, several tall dongs like candle sticks and and a massive bubulous glass ripple as the centerpiece.

I couldn't wait to get them out of the house that day and they seemed none the wiser.

On the fourth visit I made sure everything was away. The however did ask what happened to all the glassware. I told her "I only put it out for special private parties".
10/02/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Chess

Vibrator chess anyone?
10/02/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
I remember ages ago I had won one of those cleaner for a month competitions where you get a person to come out once a week for two hour to clean your home.

It was a team of three and so I let them have at it and they did ... more
Oh my goodness! That is one hell of a story! Were they foreign workers?
10/03/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy


Vibrator chess anyone?
Those chess sets really are so cool. And that's so much of what your story reminded me of! Or like a sex toy "tea party" Haha.
10/03/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Sugarfina
Those chess sets really are so cool. And that's so much of what your story reminded me of! Or like a sex toy "tea party" Haha.
Has a sex high tea party once. No joke.

Everyone was naked, tea and cake (scones with jam and whipped cream).

It got messy but I sold a heap of sex toys.
10/04/2016
Contributor: Lena Eden Lena Eden
Woohoo!

So many stories, so much laugh with you, guys! Thank you all for the most amusing sex toys' stories ever.

Believe it or not, it has never been so tough to choose the winner. That's why this time I've decided to have 1 main prize plus 2 runner-ups.

And the winner is (drumroll!!!) - TheToyGuy (we all know why, right?)
I would also love to give $10 gift cards to symbiasin and Panda502, as your stories are also amazingly funny!!!

Congratulations

Well, if I could I would have given a prize to each and everyone of you, guys. Makes me kind of sad that I can’t!

Love you all and good luck in other contests!

BTW, we have a #September Rumble running right now...
10/04/2016
Contributor: DancerKittyKat DancerKittyKat
Quote:
Originally posted by Lena Eden
Woohoo!

So many stories, so much laugh with you, guys! Thank you all for the most amusing sex toys' stories ever.

Believe it or not, it has never been so tough to choose the winner. That's why this time I've decided to ... more
Congrats to TheToyGuy, symbiasin, and Panda502!
10/04/2016
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by Lena Eden
Woohoo!

So many stories, so much laugh with you, guys! Thank you all for the most amusing sex toys' stories ever.

Believe it or not, it has never been so tough to choose the winner. That's why this time I've decided to ... more
Had a swell time reading your escapades, all of them ! Not just the 3 prize winners !
10/04/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Congrats symbiasin and Panda502.

Wow. Was not expecting that. Some really good stories here. I must be a hell of a perv... admirer of beautiful things.
10/04/2016
Contributor: symbiasin symbiasin
Gee...make a story out of this. I literally never win anything...now I win something here and I can only brag to you guys about it.

Congratulations Toy Guy and Panda502!!!

It was fun reading everyone's stories.
10/05/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
Gee...make a story out of this. I literally never win anything...now I win something here and I can only brag to you guys about it.

Congratulations Toy Guy and Panda502!!!

It was fun reading everyone's stories.
Don't feel sad. Just tell your friends "OMG I totally won this internet competition the other day." and if they ask what the comp was you say "Oh I forget, but I won."
10/05/2016
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
Gee...make a story out of this. I literally never win anything...now I win something here and I can only brag to you guys about it.

Congratulations Toy Guy and Panda502!!!

It was fun reading everyone's stories.
just post it on your fb page or Mafia Wars. What's there to be ashamed of ? Everybody, well almost everybody likes sex ! And they know you done it before. After all you do have kids right ?

"Hey everyone ! Guess what ? I won a prize of EdenFantasys for telling about one of my sex escapades" !
10/05/2016
Contributor: symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
just post it on your fb page or Mafia Wars. What's there to be ashamed of ? Everybody, well almost everybody likes sex ! And they know you done it before. After all you do have kids right ?

"Hey everyone ! Guess what ? I won a ... more
Sure OH!! When pigs fly!!

Lena...I must say I have never laughed so much at a thread. encore encore!!
10/05/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
just post it on your fb page or Mafia Wars. What's there to be ashamed of ? Everybody, well almost everybody likes sex ! And they know you done it before. After all you do have kids right ?

"Hey everyone ! Guess what ? I won a ... more
Isn't it sexcapades?
10/06/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Has a sex high tea party once. No joke.

Everyone was naked, tea and cake (scones with jam and whipped cream).

It got messy but I sold a heap of sex toys.
That sounds like it was a lot of fun!
10/06/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Congrats symbiasin and Panda502.

Wow. Was not expecting that. Some really good stories here. I must be a hell of a perv... admirer of beautiful things.
Congratulations, you guys! You really told some great stories!
10/06/2016
Contributor: Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Don't feel sad. Just tell your friends "OMG I totally won this internet competition the other day." and if they ask what the comp was you say "Oh I forget, but I won."
Haha, best response ever!
10/06/2016
Contributor: Panda502 Panda502
Quote:
Originally posted by Lena Eden
Woohoo!

So many stories, so much laugh with you, guys! Thank you all for the most amusing sex toys' stories ever.

Believe it or not, it has never been so tough to choose the winner. That's why this time I've decided to ... more
Thank you!! This was a great topic and a humorous group! <3 <3
10/06/2016