I am completely new to anal play. Well, at least I am almost completely new: I have been attempting to get started for a couple of weeks now since my husband has expressed interest in trying anal sex.

Sadly, however, I have had a difficult time using what many reviewers have deemed as the perfect beginner's butt plug. It seems as though I need something even smaller than the following, all of which I have tried and find either very difficult to insert and/or too uncomfortable to wear for even a short period of time (and, yes, I do use a thick anal lube and try to insert gently and slowly):

Tantus Little Flirt (seems too long for my comfort)

Tantus Ripple (the last bead is too thick in diameter and it also is too long for me to fully insert comfortably)

FunFactory Bootie (the bulged head makes it very painful to insert, even going slowly and gently, and I find it too filling to wear comfortably for long, once it is in)

I am very sad that I am not "progressing" in anal play. Are there any smaller butt plugs out there to help me ease into using -- and hopefully even enjoying -- my *beginner* plugs so that I can eventually work up to trying anal sex?

Ironically, my husband has also just started to experiment with anal play to massage his prostate and he has even been able to use our Nexus G-rider with no problem. I don't understand why I am still stuck at the *pre-beginner* stage!

Thanks for any advice! I appreciate it. less

At that price, the Plug of Lust is tough to beat. If price is not an object, then I might go for the Fun Factory Bootie instead because I think the base is better for long term wear. Another consideration if price were no object would be the Bob pleasure object. less

SS, I really love the Plug of Lust, I found it easier to use than even the "beginner" Crystal Cote silicone plug. (The Crystal Cote was just too pointy and hard when we were first experimenting with anal play, although before we got the Plug Der Lust we used it occasionally.)

I found a couple of things really help anal play progress. My Man "conditioned" me, similarly to when he taught me how to have PIV sex, decades earlier. He started with gentle fingering, no toys, just his hand and fingers lightly touching and eventually probing, all the while making sure I was happy and comfortable and eventually really aroused. This probably took a couple of weeks of just touching with minimal penetration. Then he started penetrating, little by little, until we tried the Crystal Cote....and I hated it. I ended up being able to take his penis before any toy, to be honest. His hand and fingers did the trick of training and relaxing me. this "Training" usually occurred during very heavy cunnilingus sessions, so we were both feeling very good and relaxed about the whole endeavor.

Also, we found if I orgasmed at least once or twice BEFORE attempting any anal penetration it was much easier. I was relaxed, and at that point, pretty much anything would have been OK with me. Also, being well lubed, as you know, is very important. (However, we found TOO much lube and things just get messy. You have to find the right amount and the right lube for you. I like the lube in about 1/4 to a half a vial of Astroglide Anal Shooters.) We also found that if I had the very familiar sensation of vaginal penetration DURING anal sex, it was not only easier, but I was more relaxed and aroused. We found double penetration is actually preferable for our needs to simple anal penetration alone. We usually use the Fun Factory Boss Lady for this, either still or with the vibration turned on, depending on what My Man and I are in the mood for. We've also tried anal sex with the Wahl Massager on my clit, and it is really a fun sensation. It takes about every hand on deck, but it is worth the work!

The first time we actually achieved anal intercourse, with no discomfort and a lot of arousal on both ends, he was so caring and sweet and encouraging. We had tried it once before (without enough conditioning and training) and it hurt, and I bled (I didn't even bleed the first time I had PIV sex) but this second time he just kept telling me how much he loved me, and how sweet it was and what a Good Girl I was and it was wonderful.

Now, we play this way frequently, and the plugs, at least for me, came after learning with fingers hands and penis.

Now, quite a while later, I still don't like large toys, taken anally, I prefer small ones, as I like the full feeling, but not too much stretch unless we're having actual sex. (although have no problem with his penis, there's a difference, at least to me, in living human flesh and even the best silicone) I actually like the small Plug of Lust or a set of beads during oral, but usually want them removed before I come, as that what works for me most of the time.

I, personally, never wear a butt plug unless we are having sex. I find the sensation TOO sexual and can't just sit around with something in my butt, but everyone is different, and you'll find what works for you.

Every body is different. Take it slowly. Stop if it hurts. Allow yourself to relax and enjoy the sensations, and most likely you will eventually achieve whatever level of anal play you and your partner desire.

Gentle hugs and good luck. less

P'Gell has some good advice.

I will add that when I was first starting out a vibe helped to relax my anus, no penetration just on the out side. Then move to fingers, I take this time to massage in the lube.

Remember to relax, maybe take a good hot bath/shower, then get comfy put on your favorite music or porn (if you like that) and don't forget to breath and relax your lower pelvic region. If it feels like you are tensing up try to push like you are having a B.M.

Take your time with this, I took two weeks before I was ready for a toy.

Hope this helps. less

P'Gell, Thank you so much for all the excellent advice and encouragement. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me and that I would never be able to get past this. I'm just going to quit worrying about the end result we are aiming for. I guess I'll get there when I get there!

Perhaps I should just quit worrying about the plugs and just do fingers for now. Oh, and I will look into the Astroglide Anal Shooters, too. I am not familiar with that. We currently have the cherry-flavored Anal Lube (from this site). less

I am completely new to anal play. Well, at least I am almost completely new: I have been attempting to get started for a couple of weeks now since my husband has expressed interest in trying anal sex.

Sadly, however, I have had a difficult time using what many reviewers have deemed as the perfect beginner's butt plug. It seems as though I need something even smaller than the following, all of which I have tried and find either very difficult to insert and/or too uncomfortable to wear for even a short period of time (and, yes, I do use a thick anal lube and try to insert gently and slowly):

Tantus Little Flirt (seems too long for my comfort)

Tantus Ripple (the last bead is too thick in diameter and it also is too long for me to fully insert comfortably)

FunFactory Bootie (the bulged head makes it very painful to insert, even going slowly and gently, and I find it too filling to wear comfortably for long, once it is in)

I am very sad that I am not "progressing" in anal play. Are there any smaller butt plugs out there to help me ease into using -- and hopefully even enjoying -- my *beginner* plugs so that I can eventually work up to trying anal sex?

Ironically, my husband has also just started to experiment with anal play to massage his prostate and he has even been able to use our Nexus G-rider with no problem. I don't understand why I am still stuck at the *pre-beginner* stage!

Thanks for any advice! I appreciate it. less

Wow, I am so amazed, overwhelmed, and INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for all of your advice -- every single one of you: Jimbo Jones, Kindred, P'Gell, Dwtim, ScottA, Annemarie, Victoria, Rockin' with a Cock in, and Carrie Ann (I hope I didn't leave anyone out). Each of you have offered very helpful advice and I am feeling so much more encouraged now! I will certainly look into all of your suggestions until I find something that works for me. Thank you all again so very much! less

Wow, I am so amazed, overwhelmed, and INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for all of your advice -- every single one of you: Jimbo Jones, Kindred, P'Gell, Dwtim, ScottA, Annemarie, Victoria, Rockin' with a Cock in, and Carrie Ann (I hope I didn't leave anyone out). Each of you have offered very helpful advice and I am feeling so much more encouraged now! I will certainly look into all of your suggestions until I find something that works for me. Thank you all again so very much! less

Wow, I am so amazed, overwhelmed, and INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for all of your advice -- every single one of you: Jimbo Jones, Kindred, P'Gell, Dwtim, ScottA, Annemarie, Victoria, Rockin' with a Cock in, and Carrie Ann (I hope I didn't leave anyone out). Each of you have offered very helpful advice and I am feeling so much more encouraged now! I will certainly look into all of your suggestions until I find something that works for me. Thank you all again so very much! less

At that price, the Plug of Lust is tough to beat. If price is not an object, then I might go for the Fun Factory Bootie instead because I think the base is better for long term wear. Another consideration if price were no object would be the Bob pleasure object. less

I just received the Lelo Bob today in the mail after ordering it for my husband. I sterilized it and got it ready for its "maiden voyage" when he got home from work. However, when he got home, he convinced me to try it instead. For some reason, this toy seems to work the easiest for me out of all the toys we've tried: the Tantus Ripple Small, the Tantus Little Flirt, and the FunFactory Bootie. It's a good thing there are so many shapes out there to try! This one seems to be my fit (and I never would have thought it would be until I saw it -- it is so very slim and non-threatening).

Now I want to order the Happy Valley Pleasure #1 that was recommended to me by a couple of other people!

Thanks again, everyone, for all the advice! less

I am completely new to anal play. Well, at least I am almost completely new: I have been attempting to get started for a couple of weeks now since my husband has expressed interest in trying anal sex.

Sadly, however, I have had a difficult time using what many reviewers have deemed as the perfect beginner's butt plug. It seems as though I need something even smaller than the following, all of which I have tried and find either very difficult to insert and/or too uncomfortable to wear for even a short period of time (and, yes, I do use a thick anal lube and try to insert gently and slowly):

Tantus Little Flirt (seems too long for my comfort)

Tantus Ripple (the last bead is too thick in diameter and it also is too long for me to fully insert comfortably)

FunFactory Bootie (the bulged head makes it very painful to insert, even going slowly and gently, and I find it too filling to wear comfortably for long, once it is in)

I am very sad that I am not "progressing" in anal play. Are there any smaller butt plugs out there to help me ease into using -- and hopefully even enjoying -- my *beginner* plugs so that I can eventually work up to trying anal sex?

Ironically, my husband has also just started to experiment with anal play to massage his prostate and he has even been able to use our Nexus G-rider with no problem. I don't understand why I am still stuck at the *pre-beginner* stage!

Thanks for any advice! I appreciate it. less