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I have been having anal sex with my husband for like 8 years now but have never used any anal toys. Should I still start with beginner ones or not?

There are products such as Anal Eaze (or even orajel) that can numb her, however please use caution when using any type of numbing agent.

Pain is a way for your body to tell you something is wrong, so completely numbing the anus could result in an injury that won't be felt until the cream wears off.

Have you tried taking a longer time to warm her up?? Starting small (finger) and slowly working your way up until she is comfortable with your penis entering her?

No. Not if you want safe, sane and consensual anal sex. The anus should NEVER be numbed if you know what you are doing and don't want to HURT your partner.

Most do not recommend a numbing agent for anal sex. Anal sex needs to be prepared for and if it hurts... you're doing something wrong.

The problem with numbing agents is that the receiver could be hurt and not realize it. You don't want that, do you? If anal sex is done properly, it will NOT hurt.

My husband and I took a month or more to prepare for anal play. Starting with lube and a little finger just "rimming" the edge and taking our time and stopping if there was ANY pain.

You don't just "ram it in" with anal sex. You need a good NON-numbing lube and lots of preparation. I find I need to have at least one orgasm before we start anal sex, or I am not relaxed enough. We've been doing this for years, and I still need to be mentally and physically prepared. Small toys help some people prepare, but the most important thing is for the receiver to be relaxed and to WANT the anal sex.

No amount of numbing agent is going to make up for gentle and appropriate preparation, and she could end up getting hurt and not realizing it until later.

please don't use a numbing gel or lube. it will make anal sex risky for her if her body can't tell when something's wrong. the other people in this thread have great advice!!

I wouldn't suggest using a numbing Gel on anal because pain is there for a reason. It lets you know if you're going too far.

Agree with others. Don't use this.

Never use a numbing agent! Instead, use a TON of lube and work her up from a finger of yours(in a glove)to several, to a small flared toy, then your penis.

They exist, but like everyone else here, I really don't recommend using them.

It would also numb your penis. She'd be numb, you'd be numb...neither of you would enjoy it.

Proper preparation, lubrication and communication will increase your chances for a positive experience.

I agree that posts saying a numbing lube shouldn't be used in case an injury occurs. However, it annoys me when people say that it won't hurt if you do it right. Pain is relative to each person. Saying that pain is an indication you're not doing it right sets people up to feel like failures if they just don't enjoy it.

Bad plan man

My wife was very reluctant to engage in any anal play - much less sex. Like you I considered - even purchased anal-ease. However due to the abundance of caution expressed by the EF community - I pitched it.

But I did not give up on anal play. I encouraged my wife to perform anal play on me - fingers, small plugs, dildos and vibes. Once I learned what felt good - and the proper penetration techniques, I was able to assure my wife that I had learned how to give her anal pleasure.

She was still reluctant - even saying there is no such thing as 'anal pleasure'. However she allowed me to try. Long story short - she now loves anal play and sex and asks me to do it for her.

Slow progressive penetration with plenty of lube - but no desensitizing. Desensitizing actually reduces anal pleasure. Learn to do it correctly - and there will be a lot pleasure for both of you.