Why Do Men Deny Masturbation? - from Em and Lo

Contributor: Em & Lo Em & Lo
Why do some men — single, married, in relationships, straight, gay, bisexual, whatever — deny masturbating? Religious shame ingrained in the culture? Fear leftover from 8th grade that you'd be branded a loser? Fear of being branded a pervert? Fear their partners will think it's cheating? All of the above? If you want to know what Em & Lo's Wise Guys had to say on the topic, by the way, check out their answers -- which include all of the above, and more -- here.
09/29/2010
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Contributor: Persephone's Addiction Persephone's Addiction
I've known guys across the spectrum - one who did it and pretended he didn't, one who actually didn't, and one who proudly tells me when he does!
I've heard that it bothers some women. Personally, I'm glad my boyfriend has a healthy sex drive!
09/29/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
I've never met a guy who denied masturbating. I've met plenty of women who deny it, but no men.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
I have met both men and women. It seems to be a pride thing in men.. I think in women its an embarrassment thing. I dont care who knows i teach myself a lesson TBH nor does the old man
09/29/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I've never met a guy who denied masturbating. I've met plenty of women who deny it, but no men.
I'm in the same boat. The women tell me but not their other friends, relatives, and sometimes not their partners.
09/29/2010
Contributor: timinus timinus
Perhaps, it is because masturbation is "me" time. Not all women appreciate their men are objectifying other women; thus, denying you masturbate at all deflects the conversation from the "what kind of porn do you watch" debacle. I had some exes demand to see my porn collection to make sure (get this) I am masturbating to women looking similar to them. Yes, I had that conversation, and it was awful.
09/30/2010
Contributor: iceman681 iceman681
for the same reason that in some counties its OK for women to be topless and not in others SHAME. its an environmental thing, being taught its a bad thing. and reading others answers, id say if it was not a hidden thing to began with then it wont be a problem later
09/30/2010
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
I think it has something to do with how some societies often looks down upon it.
09/30/2010
Contributor: B8trDude B8trDude
Do men deny masturbating? I think that all men (or very close to all men) masturbate.

One thing for sure, I would never masturbate. No, I just wouldn't do it. It never crosses my mind. I never had desire to.

LOL!
09/30/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
I think some men deny masturbating, at least to their wives or girlfriends, because their women don't like for them to masturbate. Some women are highly insecure when it comes to their men getting pleasure another way than from them.
09/30/2010
Contributor: beautifulpierced beautifulpierced
I believe that some men AND women masturbate SOMETIMES just for the release and its much more fast and easy than having sex or being with a partner and may not want to admit it because the partner may think maybe they arnt good enough and that their significant other prefers masturbation...
09/30/2010
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
I will deny or confess depending on how comfortable I am with the person.
09/30/2010
Contributor: Waterfall Waterfall
I've never had a partner or guy friend who has denied masturbation. However, I have had a few females friends who have.
09/30/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
I dont know about that, all me female friends will deny it if it comes up in conversation in a date or something. I also know a guy who does the same.

Then theres me teen sisters who act like its completly sick and not good when it comes to school and people joking around or something about it when in fact they come home and have viberators of there own.

I honestly think it depends who its with.
10/04/2010
Contributor: Madeira Madeira
I dunno, maybe because they feel it's indulgent? Like it's a private moment of pleasure for just them, and they feel guilty about being "selfish" or something.
10/04/2010
Contributor: Miss Naughty Kitty Miss Naughty Kitty
mine doesn't lol

he actually says that hes just gonna stick to masturbation, cuz I kinda hurt him a couple times during sex.
10/04/2010
Contributor: Yoda Yoda
I think men deny it because girls in the real world seem to be repulsed by it. Or at least they profess to be when faced with it in movies, television, and other kinds of media. In pop culture, female masturbation is often portrayed as sexy, smart, and coolly erotic, whereas male masturbation is usually seen as a perverted and slightly pathetic act that only teens and single losers practice.
10/04/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
I think it's multiple things - the expectation that you should get all the sex you need from your partner, the social idea that masturbation is a second rate substitute for expectation #1, and probably a lingering idea that it's not "real sex" (though with oral and anal we seem to be getting over it).

I wonder if couples who give each other handjobs are more open with their solo play?
10/05/2010
Contributor: CanMan CanMan
Not me I'll brag about how much I do all day if you'll listen My girl loves knowing that I jerk off twice a day and then still molest her all night when she comes home and all over my face.
12/06/2010
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I've never had a guy come out and deny that he masturbates (I don't usually go asking everyone I know though). I've had a couple of religious male friends confess it to me in a guilty manner because it was something they were ashamed of. I would be kind of surprised if a guy told me he didnt masturbate at all, I guess I just usually assume that they do it.
12/06/2010
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
I love to masturbate. I enjoy being watched by my partner while masturbating. I love to tie him up to watch. Jiminey crickets... my blog is generally speaking all about masturbating.

I hate it when he ties me up and I have to watch him.

There have been some men I have been with who actually think women should not masturbate, not own toys, feel insecure when I wanted to masturbate then have sex or put on a show after we'd just finished while he recovers for another round.

I think some men deny masturbating because they feel we find it off putting. I cannot deny that I do hope they are thinking of me while masturbating, but I know that is not always the case.
01/15/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
I think for guys it is pretty much that they feel if other guys know that they are masturbating, then they will think they aren't able to get enough sex. So, as Jobthingy said above, it is pretty much a pride thing.
01/16/2011
Contributor: cnspots cnspots
I guess it boils down to how they were raised as in strict parents or religious beliefs. I'll use me and my husband for example, he has no problem admitting to masturbating he feels it's natural and normal. He always says if you don't please yourself you can't please someone else. Where I am more reserved since I was raised Catholic I have a hard time in loosing up to masturbate. The only time I can free myself up to do so is when he's home and watching me, I can't do it when I am alone and I always have to have a toy.
01/16/2011
Contributor: Josh aka FootMan Josh aka FootMan
I don't see why anybody would have an issue with a partner masturbating, so long as it didn't mean they were getting any less action. I for one masturbate at least twice a day on average, but Jes is perfectly content with the amount of time I spend on her. We both know that when I watch porn I tend to have a much stronger sex drive, and also tend to last longer being that I've usually gotten off once already before we play.

Also, I'd say about half the time when we play, we put on a porn, usually one that she chose, just because it turns us both on and makes the sex hotter. That's not to say we need some sort of visual aid other than each other, I think she's DAMN sexy - but we're also the type of couple to get off on same room sex with others and threesomes so I'm sure this has a lot to do with our being open about the subject.

Jes and I pretty much know when each other masturbate, I think it turns us on to know one of us is getting off while the other is in the shower. It's good to have your "you" time and to be able to explore other people having sex aside from just you and your partner.
01/16/2011