who should be more attractive: you or your partner?

I voted 'Compatible', but I find that an inaccurate answer...

See, my boyfriend is a dead sexy guy who works out regularly and leads an active life - he's not a body builder or anything, just with really, really, REALLY nice curves in all the right places. It's something I absolutely adore about him because I am a very touch-oriented person and love to just explore his body with my hands, lips and tongue. I don't get tired of it.

Myself on the other hand, to put it in a not-so-kind-light (because I hate softening words,) am a fat bastard. Certainly I have a lot more muscle on me than most might expect, but at the end of the day I still weigh far too much and really do -not- like my body. I am struggling to deal with my weight, but it is slow going. I don't actually like being touched and fondled because I don't like how I look...

BUT, my boyfriend there is a bit of a chubby-chaser, so he rather likes me being this big though he fully supports me trying to get healthy, even if it will be a small blow to his preference.

As it stands, as we are now we each see eachother as extremely attractive, even if I do not actually see myself as such. Certainly we are both getting what we want out of physical attraction, but it is a bit hard on him because I am unable to get completely comfortable with his fascination of my size, since I hate being this way.

Yes! Confusion, ho!

Honestly I think it's too shallow to feel a need to either be the more attractive or the less attractive. I have never put so much emphasis on looks, and my husband is the same way. Are we attracted to each other? Absolutely! But have we ever worried who was more attractive? No...

I think it should be pretty even.

My partner and I are equal in attractiveness, I think. It's very subjective though...

As long as they have an amazing sense of humor I find them really attractive.

I don't really feel like either of us should be more attractive. I picked my boyfriend because we get along well and have plenty in common. Him being cute is just a bonus.

My fiancee things I'm more attractive, and I think she's more attractive. I guess that means we're about even.

I think all that matters is that both people separately feel good about themselves and feel good about each other. I've dated some people who wouldn't be called "pretty" or "handsome" but they felt good about themselves and it translated into how attracted I was to them.

Me and my guy are comparable, I guess, but I couldn't resist choosing the a "me" variant. I'm often very insecure about myself, so that's just what comes to my mind first.

I recently heard a new story about a study that indicated that there is a high correlation between body size and compatibility. It seemed to say that as long as the man was bigger (heavier) than the woman, the size of the woman was not that important.

I know this is true for my wife - she says she dated some thinner guys when she was younger and she said 'it felt like I was hugging a girl'. Interesting

I think we should be about the same

I find I care about this way more when I'm dating a woman. With a man it's like apples and oranges, but women tend to compare themselves to other women anyway, and in the past I've been worried that people will see my girlfriend as the hotter one of the pair. Now that I'm more secure and confident I don't really care as much. As long as we get along that's good for me.

I didn't vote because I'd what my pick out of those options would be.

I tend to not think it matters within my relationships as long as I find them attractive. I learned a while back that it doesn't do anyone any good to nit pick and wonder if someone's "good looking enough for you." I've dated guys who could be models, some who I feel aren't as attractive as me and lots in between. You're either content with them or you're not.

That way of approaching it really helped me focus on the things that are REALLY important to the relationship, like personality and communication styles and just generally how good of a personal relationship you can actually have with them. You can stare at pretty all day long but that doesn't guarantee a compatible personality.


On a sidenote, I DID read a study recently that found women who are in relationships with men less attractive than them are happier. I'd have to find it again and go over it to see how rigorous it was, as those sorts of studies can get pretty questionable about methods, BUT, interesting none the less. Especially considering the one option here that presumes the only reason a women would want a man less attractive than herself is to help her feel secure. I tend to think more about how surveys looking at sexual satisfaction in relation to penis size have actually found that women who are with men with less-than-average and even micro-penises often report higher rates of satisfaction. The theory behind this is that these men are basically forced to compensate in other areas, like having a particularly talented fingers and tongues lol.

I think that we do well because we are comparable. Body-wise, I have a bit more success than he does, though he has killer legs, and being a woman, there are alot of things that I can do or wear that make me more attractive. However, if I don't do some of those things, I can look pretty frumpy. B is a good looking guy that has consistency on his side. He looks attractive in just about anything, and super gorgeous in some things. He is very much my type; a tall, broad, older guy. I don't fit his physical type, but as he puts it, "When something as unique as you comes along, you forget your preferences and go for it."

All that being said, we do have an appreciation for each other, and we get to benefit from the other person's compliments about our looks. I believe if we were strongly different in levels, then we might be less appreciative of said compliments. What we have works for us.

i put some serious time into the way I look, so I expect my partner to put some effort to match me.

We should be comparable.

He is WAY better looking than I am, I WISH we were more comparable! :/

It has to be both!

I don't care who is more attractive.

I don't know about this question. I like people I like. I would think I'm attractive to them. Other than that, who cares?

if the chemistry is there who cares

people tell me that i could do way better than my man but i dont care what they say i think my man is sexy as hell and i think we look damn good together

I think he is good looking and he thinks I'm hot. I also think he is blind and crazy!!!