During/After pregnancy low sex drive

Contributor: hspence hspence
hspence
Related to: 
I don't know what to do right now. I figure this is the best place to post it. I never thought I could have kids honestly. But I got pregnant back in december and immiediately lost my sex drive. I did end up havin a miscarriage but I still don't want to have sex. Anybody know what might be going on?? or experienced it??
03/19/2012
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03/19/2012
Contributor: hspence hspence
like I don't even want to be touched... is that normal??
03/19/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Hormonal issues can cause a problem where one skin feels like it's crawling when one is touched.

A lot of women feel guilt (they shouldn't feel this way) when the lose a pregnancy, and that can translate into a lack of drive. Also, some pregnancies can mess up your hormones to the point where you don't have enough estrogen or testosterone to have a sex drive.

You need to see your OBGYN and have your hormones tested. If you think it might be guilt or resentment (I know women who have lost pregnancies and then felt resentful that they were pressured to have sex during the pregnancy and then when they lost the pregnancy, blamed their spouse. Some women don't even realize they are doing this until they get into therapy.)

I've been pregnant 5 times and miscarried twice. I never lost my drive (although I did for a short period of time after the babies were born. But, I needed rest more than sex then.) I think a professional could help you.

Good luck. I'm sorry you lost the pregnancy. It hurts for a while (emotionally) and then gets better.


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03/19/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I agree with P'Gell that it could be hormonal, but I also think that you may have slipped into a depressive state without realizing it. Finding out your pregnant when you never thought you could get pregnant can be extremely shocking to the system and then to lose the pregnancy on top of that is probably more than anyone should ever have to bear. If you can, get yourself set up with a counselor who understands the situation and the things you're going through and work through them at your own pace.

I wish you the best of luck!
03/20/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I wish I could do more than second what these ladies have already said, but I just don't have anything else that I feel I could add. Except to give you lots of and wish you all the best of luck.
03/20/2012
Contributor: wildorchid wildorchid
So sorry to hear of your loss. I don't have kids, but I do have experience with counselling and am with these ladies in recommending it. Don't be afraid to talk to someone, you would be amazed at how liberating it can be. Being proactive (as you are doing) is a great first step Virtual hugs from Canada, I hope you feel better soon. If you have questions about counselling, message me by all means.

Oh! And if you are interested, I have a friend who knows of some web communities dedicated to dealing with miscarriages and advice etc. I would be happy to get you the links if you want.

Good luck!
03/20/2012
Contributor: Intrigued Intrigued
How heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with all the posts. Take your time, talk with a professional. You've suffered quite a loss and need time to process your feelings. Miscarriages are common, but each of use process our emotions differently. Good luck to you.
03/20/2012
Contributor: CindyH CindyH
soory that bad get some professional hep
03/20/2012
Contributor: hspence hspence
thanks you guys... ur worse of encouragement are very welcomed and appreciated!
03/30/2012
Contributor: hspence hspence
Quote:
Originally posted by hspence
thanks you guys... ur worse of encouragement are very welcomed and appreciated!
sorry, words*
03/30/2012