Helping A Friend

Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
A very good friend recently confided in me about something that has been bothering her with her sex life. It's a bit sensitive and I wasn't sure quite what to say, which is a first for me. So, what better place to get some helpful advice than right here!

She has been with her husband for well over 30+ years and during general fondling he has never brought her to orgasm. When he touches her, she describes the strokes as almost uncomfortable. Like he doesn't know her body or what she responds to. It gets to the point where she just wishes he would hurry up and move on because it's just not a pleasing feeling. The same can almost be said for oral Since they have been together FOREVER she has no clue how to fix it without crushing his ego. After all, this has been his method their whole lives.

I just listened sympathetically and said I needed to give this some careful thought. I wanted to be sure to guide her adequately I honestly felt do sad for her but knew this was going to be a bit delicate.

Anyone able to help? Any men, if a woman felt this way about you (god forbid) what would make this situation easier??
08/09/2015
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Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Can she suggest "something different"? What I mean is detailed instructions on how she wants to be touched and caressed. Or perhaps watch a movie with her husband and "take notes" on how the actors are touching each other.

If I were her, I wouldn't be all, "I hate the way you touch me. It makes me feel like Chris Hansen should be interviewing you on To Catch a Preadator." I'd be a more delicate about it.

Can she show him during foreplay? That's a time when he should be paying attention.
08/09/2015
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
Can she suggest "something different"? What I mean is detailed instructions on how she wants to be touched and caressed. Or perhaps watch a movie with her husband and "take notes" on how the actors are touching each ... more
I got the feeling that she had held her thoughts in for so long and repeatedly that she was afraid of what she might blurt out.

I love your Catching A Predator lol. That's a bit how she described it lol.

I tried suggesting that she make little suggestions to him. Maybe in the form of showing him herself but that seemed a bit out of her comfort zone and she was very flustered at the time. So, I just kept lending an ear, knowing I was going to run here for some insight
08/10/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
That really is a sad situation to be in. If she is unwilling to communicate her feelings to her husband, how is she expecting to change the outcome? Men don't read minds and
Women don't either. At some point she will need to say something to better her situation. I hope for her sake she says something soon. As I mentioned before that is a terrible situation to be in.

I would like to offer my condolences to your friend.
08/10/2015
Contributor: Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Check your inbox.
08/11/2015
Contributor: Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
That really is a sad situation to be in. If she is unwilling to communicate her feelings to her husband, how is she expecting to change the outcome? Men don't read minds and
Women don't either. At some point she will need to say something ... more
She may not be comfortable telling him what she wants, but maybe she could print out a few ideas that Vnessa shares with her if she doesn't have any of her own, or combine her with the ones provided to her. That would take the pressure off her, but still let him see a few things that could help improve their sex life.
08/11/2015
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Lvstoplay
She may not be comfortable telling him what she wants, but maybe she could print out a few ideas that Vnessa shares with her if she doesn't have any of her own, or combine her with the ones provided to her. That would take the pressure off her, ... more
Those were all very good and we'll written suggestions. It could be very useful for them, especially after being together so long. It will help them to maybe even turn it into a little pleasure game. The help is appreciated.
08/11/2015
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
That really is a sad situation to be in. If she is unwilling to communicate her feelings to her husband, how is she expecting to change the outcome? Men don't read minds and
Women don't either. At some point she will need to say something ... more
Yes, very sad indeed. She's not as adventurous as we are and a bit close minded. I think my stories shock her a bit lol. I also think my openness is what made her feel ok talking about this. I'm hoping to open her mind a little so that she can feel comfortable enough sharing with her husband that she needs to be handled a little different. I just tend to be on the brash side when I don't like something so the words that were coming to my mind were not very well thought out and needed to be much softer. I tend to tell my husband straight up, that's not working....I don't like that! Probably not the best approach but at the moment my mind is saying STOP, my body is saying NEXT, and my mouth is just rambling it's time to try something else.
08/11/2015
Contributor: Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
Those were all very good and we'll written suggestions. It could be very useful for them, especially after being together so long. It will help them to maybe even turn it into a little pleasure game. The help is appreciated.
You're welcome!
08/12/2015