Virgin with questions on mastubation

Virgin with questions on mastubation

localgirl32 localgirl32
I don't really know how to masturbate. I've tried touching, rubbing, and a little bit of finger insertion, but I feel like I get nowhere. I tend to tense up and just stop because my hand gets sore.

I've been looking on this site for a toy to help me. I don't want any insertion type objects because I'm afraid of breaking my hymen. I was looking at the Lelo Siri and Nia, would either of those be a good starting point for me?
02/11/2011
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toxie m toxie m
Siri is awesome, for sure. I don't have Nea so I can't speak from experience with that, but I've also heard good things there. Really, though, you don't have to worry about masturbating. You're already doing it. Don't pressure yourself to "get somewhere" with it, just relax and enjoy the sensations and stop when your hand gets sore. Pushing yourself will probably only make you tense up further, and if this tensing is uncomfortable tensing, then it's kinda missing the point of masturbation (it should be fun!)

Here's my personal experience with the whole thing: I fretted about orgasms for a good couple years before I ever had one. I used to madly research online exactly how one goes about having one, and why couldn't I. I didn't really get what I was supposed to be doing when touching myself either. So I just did whatever. It felt nice but I never *got anywhere* - frustrating, but I eventually sort of resigned myself to my fate and just did it anyway without hoping for a big magical O.

My boyfriend at the time gave me my first orgasm, which was incredibly liberating. I still couldn't get myself off for some time after that, though. Eventually, I figured out what kinds of touches I liked best (practice makes perfect!) and got really into the excellence of fantasy and one night - voila! Fantasizing was key for me, so I say just work on fine-tuning what kinds of thoughts turn you on (or watch some porn, if that's your bag) and have fun with it. A toy may or may not help you initially - fingers themselves are a great toy but if you think something vibrating will inspire you then go for it
02/12/2011
ColorSplash ColorSplash
Quote:
Originally posted by toxie m
Siri is awesome, for sure. I don't have Nea so I can't speak from experience with that, but I've also heard good things there. Really, though, you don't have to worry about masturbating. You're already doing it. Don't pressure ...
Wow this great advice. I am as well in the same predicament localgirl32.
02/14/2011
Envy Envy
Could always focus on clit stim rather then worrying about insertables atm. i suggest checking out this bullet vibe: link Small, discreet, and can be used in the tub/shower.

If you can't always get a hold of batteries for it and want something with regular batteries, then i suggest this one: link
02/14/2011
BeautiFullFigured BeautiFullFigured
If your looking for an inexpensive option, I'd opt for something like the SinFive Eve. It's one of my personal favorites. You can use it on erogenous zones like the nape of your neck, under and over the breast, and around your inner thighs. Overall I think your focus should be on enjoying the sensations and not what the sensations are "supposed" to lead to. My own personal tip, when your ready to attempt it again, think happy thoughts...things that make you smile and feel warm, things that make you laugh and feel giddy. It should help put you in a more positive, relaxed mood.
02/14/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Could always focus on clit stim rather then worrying about insertables atm. i suggest checking out this bullet vibe: link Small, discreet, and can be used in the tub/shower.

If you can't always get a hold of batteries for it and want ...
I agree. It was much easier for me to cum clitorally than vaginally, first.
02/17/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
I would definitely focus on your clitoris. A lot of women cannot have an orgasm from vaginal stimulation, but I don't know any woman who cannot achieve a clitoral orgasm.

I would recommend a cheap bullet vibrator, not just because they're my favorites, but because you won't lose too much money if it turns out to be a no-go.

I wouldn't call myself a virgin, but I have not had a penis inside me and I find it difficult to use toys that are more than 1" in diameter. If you do decide to insert toys, just be sure to use a lot of extra lube (I like Astroglide) as you are less likely to break your hymen with less friction.

That being said, it would be good for you to break your hymen eventually. My doctor told me that I should eventually buy a bigger dildo and just break it myself. As you get older, your hymen becomes tougher and tougher. I have a great aunt who is an older virgin, and she is having a lot of gynecological problems that are difficult to treat as a result.

Have fun and good luck!
02/26/2011
fallenangelkhris fallenangelkhris
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
I would definitely focus on your clitoris. A lot of women cannot have an orgasm from vaginal stimulation, but I don't know any woman who cannot achieve a clitoral orgasm.

I would recommend a cheap bullet vibrator, not just because ...
This is a really good post - I'm 29 and still a virgin myself. I never realized your hymen would become tougher as you became older. Thanks for the input
03/04/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
When I started touching myself the first time it was relaxing.

I was exploring without any goals. I touched my clitoris, rubbed it circled around it. And with time I had an orgasm. It was a small and weak orgasm but I was amazed that I had it. I didn't know my body could do that.

I would suggest you relax, take it easy. Just explore your body and when you do something that feels nice, continue doing it. If your hand gets tired take a break, move slower or with less pressure then continue to stimulate yourself.

If you are interested in getting yourself a toy, I would also get a cheaper bullet type toy as Eden C. recommends. I have the Siri and enjoy it very much but start with something cheaper to test if you enjoy vibration and how you enjoy it and if it works then you could invest in soemthing of greater quality.
03/04/2011
Waterfall Waterfall
When I first began masturbating, I didn't have a "goal" of where I was trying to get. I started with rubbing on my clitoris and this felt good, so I continued to do so with variations in movements. I would say to focus on getting to know what feels good to you instead of trying to get somewhere with it.
Like many other people have said, I would suggest a nice clitoral vibe for experimenting at this stage. I would say go with something cheaper while you are still trying to figure out what you like
03/04/2011
fallenangelkhris fallenangelkhris
I just recently got the Slender Tulip Wand from here. It's really small, so even if you do insert it, you should still be fine (I'm also a virgin and I didn't have any problem whatsoever with this toy). It's also a fantastic clitoral stimulator - it has adjustable vibrations and it's really easy to hold on to and maneuver.

No matter what you use, just make sure you're relaxed and try to clear your mind. If you think about it too much, you're going to psych yourself out. Just focus on how good it feels and you'll be surprised at how you can feel
03/06/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Waterfall
When I first began masturbating, I didn't have a "goal" of where I was trying to get. I started with rubbing on my clitoris and this felt good, so I continued to do so with variations in movements. I would say to focus on getting to ...
This is great advice. Just get to know your body. This includes what feels good to your breasts, your thighs, your rear, and other erogenous zones. I would say that, unless you are very aroused and very wet, to explore your vaginal area with lubricant. If you're not adequately lubricated, it won't feel as good. Don't just focus on your clit, however. Focus ALSO on your labia and touch the whole of your vulva. You might be surprised how good this feels.

Inexpensive clitoral vibrators that I would recommend (and have tried):

Posh
Little Honey

Expensive Clitoral vibe I would HIGHLY recommend:
MiMi And I recommend it for a beginner because it goes from a very low rumble to a very intense vibration and has patterns. It's silicone, so you can disinfect it and that frees you up to trying it stimulate different areas of your body (however, do not insert this anally).

I haven't tried this one, and it's a little pricey, but not too bad:
Mia

Some inexpensive ones I would recommend but have NOT tried (I'm recommending because they seem intriguing to me):

Waterwhirl
Petit Ami
03/06/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
This is great advice. Just get to know your body. This includes what feels good to your breasts, your thighs, your rear, and other erogenous zones. I would say that, unless you are very aroused and very wet, to explore your vaginal area with ...
Mia was one of my first clitoral vibrators. It's a great little vibe, super cute and discreet. The good thing about it is that it's a well made product. A lot of people recommend really cheapo toys to beginners which I think is a real shame. I'd go with Mia by LELO or MiMi by Je Joue. I prefer MiMi to Lelo's Siri. It's completely waterproof and has more vroom.
03/06/2011
ddd masturbator(bye all!) ddd masturbator(bye all!)
I started masturbating at a young age. I think you have to not expect an orgasm, but just focus on touching your body wherever it feels good. You might also want to try other househould items to rub between your labia (make sure you clean well before and after).

Also, make sure you are doing something to turn yourself on first. If you're not wet, then things will be a lot more difficult and you will tire yourself out because your hand won't move as smoothly. I like to read romance novels or other people's masturbation stories.

Don't be afraid to just try things. I'm also curious why you're afraid of breaking your hymen...
03/11/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by ddd masturbator(bye all!)
I started masturbating at a young age. I think you have to not expect an orgasm, but just focus on touching your body wherever it feels good. You might also want to try other househould items to rub between your labia (make sure you clean well before ...
household items such as?

Personally, I would not recommend putting anything in your vagina that is not designed to go into your vagina. Or your labia. I say this because even if you wash it, if it's not a sterilizable item, you may inadvertently transfer bacteria. Not to mention, things around the household are not crafted with sensitive areas in mind. Seams could scratch or cut.
03/11/2011
ddd masturbator(bye all!) ddd masturbator(bye all!)
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
household items such as?

Personally, I would not recommend putting anything in your vagina that is not designed to go into your vagina. Or your labia. I say this because even if you wash it, if it's not a sterilizable item, you may ...
I see your point, thanks for the check on that! I used different items in the past that were smooth, but I guess I knew what would and wouldn't be a good idea.
03/11/2011
girl next door girl next door
Another great one is MiMi by Je Joue. It is a bit pricey, but worth it. As a fellow virgin who is not into insertion. The mimi is amazing for having an orgasm through clit stimulation. I highly recommend it! It is my go to vibe and it is not intimidating. If you have anymore specific questions let me know. As a fellow virgin who is a bit of a clitoral toy collector, I would be glad to help
03/11/2011
DTV88 DTV88
Quote:
Originally posted by localgirl32
I don't really know how to masturbate. I've tried touching, rubbing, and a little bit of finger insertion, but I feel like I get nowhere. I tend to tense up and just stop because my hand gets sore.

I've been looking on this site ...
bath tube jets. just saying.
06/09/2011
ddd masturbator(bye all!) ddd masturbator(bye all!)
Quote:
Originally posted by DTV88
bath tube jets. just saying.
touche! great option... clean too
06/18/2011
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Unique posters: 15