Personal experiences

My wife had a similar experience in her 40s. She called it a 'revelation'. She decided that rather than resist my nearly constant advances, she'd begin to enjoy all the attention I was willing to give her.

Once the ball got rolling I taught her how to have g-spot orgasms, blended orgasms, a-spot orgasms and of course multiple orgasms. It didn't happen right away, but after a couple of years - she gave in to anal sex and has never looked back.

At least in our case - it was all about the mental approach.

For you it may be the same - or hormonal. If they did not test your testosterone levels, they didn't look very far. My wife is on HRT using bio-identical hormones for menopause - so she gets tested frequently. They always comment on her 'above normal' testosterone level.

She asked if the high-T is a problem, they assured her it was not. It would help her stay focused and exercise more - a win-win! less

Yup I’m in my 40’s and menopausal. I believe, but I’ve never been tested, that I have and always have had a higher testosterone level. I’m not on anything for menopause.
I know what a gspot orgasm is, havent had one as if yet...it’s a project I’m very diligently working on. I’ve Never heard of a blended or a-spot orgasm ... please tell....and I’ve never had more then one orgasm during sex unfortunately. I’m jealous
I would totally enjoy my REVELATION it if my partner was more cooperative lol but we’re discussing that in another thread .....
my first sexual experience was anal. I was so naive ,( sex was not discussed in the home, never had the birds and the bees conversation, Jesus would not have approved )that I didn’t realize it wasn’t my vagina and I hadn’t actually lost my virginity that when I actually did lose my virginity to the same guy, I was absolutely shocked at the pain lol. I was 14 and I have loved anything anal from that first time til now. I will take anal over vaginal any day. less

Ok - here's the scoop as I have learned from research backed up by empirical results. Who says nerds aren't cool

Everyone knows about clitoral orgasms - for my wife they were sharp and intense. They made her too sensitive for additional play - which was not good from my perspective.

Next on the list is the g-spot orgasm. At first my wife could not achieve a g-spot orgasm without also stimulating her clit. In some circles its referred to as a 'Blended' orgasm - others refer to it a 'Combo' orgasm. The big difference for her was that she could now continue playing to achieve multiple orgasms. She says that sometimes she can't tell if she's having a long 'rolling' orgasm (her description) or a series of closely linked events.

My wife has learned to have g-spot orgasms without clitoral stimulation and more often than not, this brings on some fairly copious gushing - much to my enjoyment!

As for the A-spot...
I noticed that my wife would be very turned on and juicy in the cowgirl position - I attributed this to grinding her clit onto my pubic bone - but also noticed the same effects using one of our larger dildos. During sexual arousal the vagina elongates - prompting her to ask me to push the dildo deeper.

Doing some research on the phenomena I came upon a description of the "Anterior-Fornix Erogenous Zone" (you can Google it) which is shortened to A-spot. Anatomically the fornix is where the vagina and uterus meet and anterior section is where the front wall of the vagina meets the uterus. It's in line with the g-spot but quite a bit deeper - leading to the misnomer 'deep g-spot'.

These days when my wife wants to gush - she aptly asks for 'The Gusher' aka the Njoy Pure Wand. It is truly a g-spot seeking miracle! When I have her really primed for a 6-or so orgasm night, I'll use one of the larger dildos - or the 'Big Gusher' aka the Njoy Eleven.

Although my wife comes to the anal party much later than you - we've only been doing it about 5 years, her most explosive orgasms now include her vibrating butt plug or a couple of fingers. The fingers are actually more effective because I can curve them up to massage her g-spot or add upward pressure on the Gusher or dildo.

Sorry if this is too much information - she's out of town and the separation is driving us both crazy!

BTW - if it's a g-spot orgasm you are looking for, there is no better choice the Njoy Pure Wand. less

Dear Gunsmoke, maybe there are some specific dildos or other toys you can recommend for the A-spot stimulation? We rarely discuss it on Eden, sadly, because most women are just happy about deep stimulation, without committing to namely the A-spot. WOuld love to have some input from you - may be, we should do a guide about the A-spot and how to reach it? less

I posted this information on another thread - but since the question has come up 2x - I'll post it 2x:

Off the cuff - I'd say my wife's go to toy for a-spot stimulation is the Vixskin Maverick. It's got the right girth for her and the slight curve works for hitting the anterior fornix.

However, sometimes just fat and long will do the job. The Vixskin Outlaw gets used a fair amount and we have some others that I dare not mention

Although the Pure Wand is a g-spot magnet, she will occasionally ask me to go deeper - but the Eleven is better for deeper stimulation than the Pure Wand.

Last thought - what ever toy I'm using is more effective with a finger or two inserted anally. This allows me to push up on the vaginal toy creating greater pressure on the top of her vagina. She has even had g-spot orgasms from anal fingering - that's a little off-topic, but still interesting! less