Texas Fu?k 'EM playing cards - adult game by Cal Exotics - review by Pleasure Piratess

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A Game Of Poker Encourages You To Poke Her.

Texas F?CK 'Em is a very fun and easy version of poker that can be played with beginners and advanced poker players, for couples or in a party setting. The game is made with quality cards and dice and will hold up to years of abuse, which is a good thing because you will enjoy playing this game again and again! Best of all, because winners chips "buy" favors, you can easily write your own sexual favors or even replace them with mundane chores when you don't want to play it as a sexual game.
Easy to play, Well-written instructions, Multi-purpose, Quality made
Does not include chips
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review

Purpose / Audience

The Texas F?CK 'Em card game is designed for 2 players (although instructions are written to include more players), and can be played in a sexual way or as a drinking game. The game itself is very loosely based on (you guessed it...) simplified Texas Hold 'Em, but rather than going home with money at the end of the night, you get sexual favors. The nice thing is that you can play this game during the middle of the day and let the anticipation of receiving your winnings increase throughout the day, as opposed to strip poker or other games where the payout is "right now".
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Drinking game
    • Increase arousal
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Home
    • Parties
  • General
    [ ? ]
    Other tags that are useful and descriptive for this product.
    • Anyone
    • Couples
    • Good for parties

Rules / Content

According to the playbook, the objective of the game is:
"Players, playing individually, try to get 5 cards which match up (by rank only) with the five poker dice which have been rolled on the table by a player who has successfully won the "bid" to roll them. The ultimate goal is to win chips or coins which can be redeemed for some naughty and sexy rewards."
The playbook is easy to understand with detailed instructions. Game play is essentially this; both players start out with 15 (or whatever agreed upon amount) of coins/chips to bet with, and is dealt 5 cards. Rounds are made and players are allowed to exchange up to two cards. Then bets are placed to determine how many rolls of the dice will be made by the winning bidder. The winning bidder gets to choose which dice to re-throw and how many times to re-throw according to how much the bid was worth (1 chip means the bidder can re-throw 1 die twice or two separate dice once each, and so on). The strategy is to control the dice so you will have the winning hand, and win the chips.

When the game is completed (one player has lost all their chips) the winner gets the pick of several mix and match sexy activities to be "bought" with the chips. For example, all 30 chips buys the winner "your lover delights you with intimate and prolonged oral sex" (or one of the other sexy suggestions) or you could "buy" two 15 chip suggestions such as "take a sudsy shower together" paired with "try a new sexual fantasy". There are many options to choose from under each amount in multiples of 5 from 5 to 30 chips, until the debt is paid.
    • Can make your own rules
    • Comes with clear instructions
    • Easy to play


This game is played with a standard deck of plastic-coated cards and 5 dice, all of which are quality made and will hold up to years of use. And fortunately, when the cards do eventually become worn, they can easily be replaced with another standard deck. The cards do not have erotic pictures on them and are rather plain. The face of the cards are pretty standard, just numbers with corresponding suit symbols. The back of the cards are white with a small magenta border and the words " Texas F?CK 'EM, Where Sex Is A Sure Bet". So, even though they aren't pornographic, they aren't quite discreet either. The dice are white and labeled in pink with the values 9, 10, Jack, Queen, King, Ace.

The game comes in a small cardboard box with a picture of a woman's navel and a royal flush tucked into her panties. The dice can be kept together in the small included zip bag, but you will probably want to put a band on the cards to keep them together in the box. Coins/poker chips are not included.
    • Attractive design
    • Travel friendly

Personal comments

I have never played poker before and was surprised to find that this simplified version was easy enough for even me and my partner to pick up on. We thought the instructions were very clearly written and I loved that the game can be taken outside of the bedroom and used as a drinking game (although specific instructions to turn this into a drinking game weren't given, I'm sure they would be easy to improvise). I can even see this game being used in a swingers club where the winners would be able to "buy" sexual favors from different players than their respective partners. It is a very fun and relatively fast-paced game you will want to play again and again.
    • Bachelor party
    • Bachelorette party
Follow-up commentary
Still enjoy playing this game. I've found it easy to teach to others, and since I just switch to a regular deck when we're playing with other people, they have no idea it started as a sex game. The more you play, the more you can even manipulate the rules to suit how long you want the game to last, what the rewards should be, etc. I really like that this game is so multifunctional it applies both in and outside of the bedroom and I think others who enjoy card games will find that this game will outlast the initial novelty.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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  • ~LaUr3n~
    This sounds fun! Added!
  • petite-n-sweet
    Im glad you addressed my main concern: is it easy to learn ~ I read poker and thought, "ugh, this is going to be complicated..." LOL
  • kck
    Haha, same here, msblackpetite. All I know how to play is Go Fish
    Thanks for the review!
  • deadpoet
    great review
  • Selective Sensualist
    Good to know it is not complicated. I've never been a card player! Great review.
  • Lady Neshamah
    thanks for the review
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