Gummy boobs - gags discontinued by Pipedream - review by Jul!a

This is certainly not the first time I've seen gummy appendages, and I'm positive it won't be the last either. These gummy titties are a cute gag gift for anybody who likes boobies and gummy candy.

The box itself is very obvious, but it's meant to be. The front has a cutout in the shape of a pair of breasts that lets you see the bag of candy inside. It says "yummy gummy titties in three fruity flavors" on the front, and on the back it has nutritional information and ingredients. Each box contains about 5 servings of about 5 boobies at a time for 102 calories per serving. The ingredients are glucose syrup, sugar, modified corn starch, citric acid, artificial flavors, gelatin, carnauba wax, and artificial colors (including blue 1, red 40, and yellow 5 & 6). These are obviously not for a health nut, but are fine as a random snack.

The bag that holds the gummy boobies is kind of hard to open and should probably be cut open. Inside you'll find an assortment of gummy boobies in 3 different colors, which in the candy world also usually translates to three different flavors. There's the yellow pair, which I really can't decide what it tastes like. After somebody else telling me that it tastes like peaches, I can see that, and the aftertaste has a definitive candy peach flavor to it. The green pair has a green apple candy kind of flavor to it, and the red pair tastes a lot like strawberry flavored candy. You know those gummy fruit snacks with the different fruit shapes in them? The red boobies taste just like the strawberries from that.

They do have a bit of a grainy texture to them, but that's some sugar that's been sprinkled on. If you prefer not to take in the extra sugar, you can rub a good portion of it off. They have a great consistency right out of the box. That perfect chewy consistency that you can chew on all day. I'd compare them to Dots gummy candy. After a few days of being open, they do get harder to the touch and harder to chew (like pretty much all gummy candies). I'd recommend trying to finish them all in one sitting (with a group of friends so you can laugh at eating gummy boobies), but otherwise you can keep them in a ziploc bag to help seal in freshness.

Showin' you some of my titties:


Each set of boobies is about 1 1/2" across, and while not totally realistic in appearance, they look enough like boobies to figure out that that's what they're supposed to be. That means that no, they're not very discreet, and you shouldn't take them out in public unless you and I have very similar personalities.

I love getting random gags to share with my friends. I got these and the Penis gummies and had a grand old time making jokes with them all night. They'll ultimately end up with my one friend who's catch phrase actually is "show me yo titties." He says it when my husband answers the phone at work, he says it when we're out at Denny's, he says it in front of my mom. He was the first person I thought of when these made their way into my cart.

For the price, they're not something I would buy on a regular basis, but they tasted yummy enough that I would eat them if they were around.