Joque Yourself Off

Though this harness is completely made of washable fabric, don't think it doesn't stay in place. This thing is made out of sturdy, long-lasting material. I was skeptical at first, but it turns out that the design and fit demonstrates careful engineering that is highly customizable and extremely comfortable. This isn't a harness that is made to LOOK amazing, because it's more about function than form. Though I don't think it looks frumpy, either.

This piece is made with a variety of materials: velcro, elastic straps (that feel smooth like bra straps), lycra, and a built-in O-ring. If anyone has sensitivity to materials like elastic, this is probably not a great choice, because there is a lot of stretch to this harness. The piece is fully machine washable, which is great if things get messy! Most harnesses are made of leather which is not as easy (or practical) to keep clean, so the cloth construction is both an advantage and a potential issue. The harness smelled a little "factory fresh" upon opening the box, but, being fabric, it will take on the aroma of whatever it's around. So if you wash it with your favorite detergent, it will take on whatever smells you subject it to.

The harness is designed to fit a wide variety of body shapes and sizes, which is great - this harness can be worn by folks with 50-inch hips or smaller, so that gives a lot more options than the average leather harness. The engineering of the piece seems a little excessive at first, but when you try it on and see how well it fits, you can forgive some of the overbuilt-ness. Its straps are mostly pretty soft, but you need to make sure the velcro doesn't scratch along your sides, or it can be uncomfortable. Since the straps either tighten like bra straps or adjust with velcro closures, it's extremely adjustable. Toys can be attached by threading them through the 'adjustable' O-ring that is embedded into the front panel. It's stretchy but doesn't stretch very easily. Standard-shaped toys with a diameter of 1 1/4 - 1 1/2 should be fine, but things smaller or larger than that might pose a logistical problem.

When I put this on, I was a little disoriented, because it fits really snug but kind of high. Where I've had other harnesses that really hugged my hips around them, this hugs a little further up for me. I think it reduces how sexy it looks, but I have sexier-looking harnesses that lag way behind in terms of comfort! It fit me great, and though I'm not a huge person, I have some curves. I think if you lacked curves it would still work, though - this can be tightened down pretty far and not get uncomfortable. I think that a wide variety of body types, shapes and sizes can utilize this harness.

I imagined that using this would be a little bit unstable, floppy, or otherwise flimsy-feeling, but it's not. It feels like a tight, low hug, and things pretty much stayed in place! It was comfy (but watch out for errant velcro straps). Once I had it adjusted to my size, it was really easy to get it off and on, and I didn't have to adjust it again, surprisingly. Getting toys into the harness was a slight challenge because the ring is covered with fabric, so they didn't slide with as much ease as a bare metal or plastic ring, but it wasn't impossible, either. Since the cloth portion had a flap, it can either protect your pubic area from sweaty silicone, or it can open to allow the insertable end of a double-ended toy to poke through. The pouch can also hold a small vibe if that's your thing.

It's cloth, which means it can be washed! Hooray! However, washing it can be a delicate operation. You might want to wash it with something gentle or designed for spandex (like what you'd find at a sporting goods store).