I Might Prefer Being Probed by Aliens Than This Thing...

I hate this toy. It is unsafe material, takes on colours and dyes, seems to absorb lube and can ruin other toys. I give this a 2 star rating because I cannot fault the toy for being an ok dildo when the mood strikes. Overall, it is just huge and the vibrations suck.
May be too big for some
Crap vibrations, not waterproof, better as a dildo
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


I know this is marked as a vibrator, but it really is better used as a dildo. it is meant to be inserted, as the name suggests. It can be used on the nipples and clitoris. It is a girthy toy as well as smooth to the touch. This was my first toy, but I do not recommend this for beginners because of the size. It is not the loudest of toys, but if you live in a dorm, this will not be the toy for you unless you use it exclusively in the shower where the sound can be muffled by water. I can see this as a hilarious gag gift, but not much else.

Just for reference, I somehow have a waterproof version of this toy!!! It says right on the bottom of the dial that my toy is waterproof and I have used it in the shower no problem. As such, my review will be based on the version I have. I think I was sent the wrong vibe maybe?
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • Solo
    • Vaginal insertion
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Waterproof
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples
    • Vagina

Material / Texture

Okay, so the texture of this toy is actually quite pleasant. Being jelly, it is smooth to the touch. This product has a glossy finish and is actually partially see-through. This is a realistic vibrator so it has veins, a distinct head complete with slit, however the texture is not over pronounced anymore than a real penis would be. The product does have a smell. Much like a sweet synthetic smell more than out right rubber. You need to get quite close to the toy to smell it and it does dissipate over time. However, I have had this toy for over a year and it has never gone away completely.

As I have said, the material is jelly and I will go into more detail about that in the appropriate sections, but I do need to mention that this toy can leave an oily residue on fabric and can feel like it might be oily to the touch. However, it does not leave a noticeable residue on your hands. The toy does absorb colours and dyes from fabrics and other toys if it comes into contact with them. After a year, this toy has actually discoloured a bit. This concerns me considerable and further enforces the fact that jelly is not the safest of materials. This product should definitely be used with a condom if you buy it.

Those with sensitive skin should be aware when using/handling this or any jelly toy. They contain a multitude of chemicals that can come into contact with your skin. When I bought this toy, I did not know I was sensitive to jelly and it actually took me a long time to figure it out. I never connected the discomfort I felt after using this toy to the material; I thought it had more to do with the size of the toy. I do believe that I have become more sensitive because not all I need to do is handle the toy and my hands become read and itchy.Not everyone will react to jelly toys, but please be aware of the possibility and use a condom (I cannot stress this point enough)

The vibe is firm with some give, but not too much. You can still thrust with this toy, but it is flexible. if I do so carefully, I can bend it completely in half.
    • Light odor
    • Porous
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

This toy is a realistic penis type vibrator minus the testicles. You activate the vibrations via a dial which also makes for a decent handle. This vibe is very easy to use. However, for a beginner this toy is huge! The product page states this toy is 9 inches long, but I do not think this includes the dial. From base of that dial to the tip of the vibe, I measured 10 inches. Depending on your preferences, I would say that 8 of these are actually insertable. It is also 5 inches around. I am no beginner to toys anymore, but I would still need to prep to use this toy. The sheer size of this toy can make it difficult to hold for thrusting.

That being said, this toy is not discreet or really travel friendly. It also does not come with a means to properly store the toy. This also makes travel/storage difficult.
    • Not discreet at all.
    • Realistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

This vibe is fairly simple. To operate the controls, you simply turn the dial the only way it will move and twist until you feel the vibration intensity that you like best. To turn the vibration up or down, just twist the dial accordingly. There are no patterns at all on this vibe. That being said, this toy is kinda loud, I have heard louder though. Dorm room compatible, no. But if you aren't sharing a room with anybody, then this toy would be fine.

The large bullet that provides this toys vibrations is located at the base of the toy. While this makes the base of the toy more sturdy for thrusting, it means that the vibrations have a lot of material to travel through and get diffused considerably by the time they get to where most women need them. Even with most of the nerve ending being located at the opening of the vagina, this toy is so huge and long that I had no hope of those vibrations reaching my vaginal opening. So unfortunately, even on the highest setting, the vibes are not strong. I would consider them medium to moderate. If you use they toy on high like I had to, you go through batteries like there's no tomorrow. This makes the vibe more expensive then you would think and considering the performance, it just is not worth it.

The vibrations are even more diffused when this toy is used in water. This also contributes to my point that the toy is really more functional as a dildo.

Occasionally ladies (and men), we all just need something to fill us up and mimic the feel of actual sex. This is where this toy excels in my opinion. It is long, girthy and actually quite stable without being too rigid. You have less of a chance of bruising yourself with this toy than you do with harder materials.
    • Battery guzzler
    • Easy to use
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

Jelly is porous and therefore hard to clean and impossible to sterilize. If you buy the toy, please use a condom with it to protect yourself and your partner if you use the toy together. It is waterproof (my version anyways); I had no problem submersing it in water to clean it even after use with a condom. Because of the material, you will never fully clean this toy whether you have the waterproof version or not.

To store this toy, you can use the box and plastic it came in, but the toy is huge and so is the packaging. I had it wrapped in a blue tea towel after I let it air dry after washing and it absorbed the dye. Perhaps a plastic bag is better.

Whichever way you choose to store it, just keep it away from other toys, it can melt other jelly toys if they are stored together! Investing in an Eden toy pouch when you buy this toy may be worth it.
    • Hard to clean


The packaging is not terrible, the woman on the front is at least fully (yet provocatively) clothed. However, the word 'SuperCocks' is written in big, bold, black letters on the box. I suggest gift wrap. The packaging is one of the reasons I think it would make a hilarious gag gift. I know all of the friends I have showed it to have laughed at the sight. The packaging consists of the cardboard box with a cut out to show the toy and inside is a blister pack containing the toy. It is not discreet, but could be used as storage if you don't mind big boxes. It would make for easy retrieval from the bedside table if you wanted a quickie.
    • Good for storage
    • Not discreet
    • Recyclable

Personal comments

I actually found this toy much more enjoyable to use as a thrusting toy with a condom on because lube does not seem to help with this toy at all. Maybe because this toy is porous, it absorbed the lube like it did the colours of the towel I stored it in. But the vibrations are not powerful at all and why else would you buy a vibrator?

The material is not the safest and hard to clean thoroughly, but if you use a condom and wash before and after use then most people would be okay. I however, had a reaction to this toy and have since stopped using it.

I received (somehow) a waterproof version of this toy. Be aware that the toy currently available for sale on Eden is NOT WATERPROOF.


This toy is so huge that I cannot use it without being very relaxed and/or warmed up with fingers. If you do not like girth, stay away from this toy. Quite frankly, the vibrations suck on this toy. It makes a rather satisfying dildo if you are in the mood for a realistic, girthy toy. Lube seems to be absorbed by this toy. I found it more comfortable to use with a condom.

I no longer use this toy since I figured out that I had a reaction to the jelly. I also not longer buy any jelly toys.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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This review was edited by
  • TheSlyFox Contributor: TheSlyFox
  • Rank:
    5.7 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 134
Subscribe to comments
  • Contributor: Valentinka
    Good job!
  • Contributor: Rossie
    Great review, thanks! Glad to know you're not buying jelly toys anymore!
  • Contributor: faust
    nice review
  • Contributor: Curiouscat
    Nice review on this even though the toy wasn't quite amazing.
  • Contributor: namelesschaos
    Great review.
  • Contributor: sugar&spikes
    thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: LavenderSkies
  • Contributor: HotMilk
    Thanks for the review.
  • Contributor: Dawnie
    Thank you.
  • Contributor: MK434
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Sweet-n-sensual
    lol the title of your review is funny. love it. but sorry it wasnt a great toy. thanks for the review!
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