This is a little larger than your typical "pocket pussy" - made out of at least two pounds of Futurotic (a proprietary skin-like silicone-based material), it's not quite portable and is designed primarily for ye old missionary style faux-fucking. We're talking basic toy-assisted masturbation, which is fine.

The design - in theory - allows for hands-free action, a definite plus in a world full of sleeves and tech geeks with RSD (no - not bashing on tech geeks who use sex toys - I'm one of you; just saying that RSD + Fleshlight = not always the most pleasant experience). So, in theory, one can just lay it down on the bed and go to town. In theory... practicality, though, doesn't always measure up.

The material is Futurotic - one of the many different skin-like materials to come out of the sex toy wars of the late 90's/early 2000's. If I had to guess, I'd say it's a silicone-derivative based on texture, though without the ease-of-cleaning factors of pure silicone. The material feels porous, which means it can absorb bacteria and virii and because it's a silicone derivative, that eliminates boiling as a sterilization method. So, the short shrift is that I wouldn't recommend sharing this toy without condom use. Then again, does anyone ever recommend sharing pocket pussies?

As for other properties of the material - when it comes out of the box, it is very oily, and has a strong smell vaguely reminiscent of kerosene. It actually gave me a headache, and so I put it in a corner of the room to air out for a day or so. Even now, a month + later, it still remains very oily, which is a little disturbing. I really wouldn't recommend using this on your bed unless you're going to be washing the sheets in the very near future, or are using an under pad if you plan on going the hands-free route. Though, given the design, I'd recommend an under pad anyway - more on that soon.

Well, back to basics - this looks like what it's meant to emulate - the vulva. Specifically, the vulva of Justine Joli, as it's molded (according to the packaging) from her own. Visually, it's actually quite nice looking, and has one nicety that most similar dual-hole units don't have - wide spacing between the vaginal canal and the anal opening, reducing the risk of tears down the road.

Internally, the anal canal and vaginal canal join into one, which is where things start to get problematic. The anal canal is straight through the device, parallel to the back of the toy. The vaginal canal slopes down and forwards at about 30-45 degrees above the anal/common canal, which means a very sudden bend in the material. That isn't terrible, just awkward. Where it gets more awkward, though, is that the canal is rather short for vaginal penetration - only about 5" from opening to clean-out hole. This means the head of the dick is constantly poking in and out of the toy on the far side. For some people, this may be a moderate problem, but it was unpleasant from my experience and also leaves questions as to cleanup, depending on how far the user "shoots".

The two most inconvenient problems I encountered were that the vaginal opening is rather small, leading to some awkward probing and slip-n-slide moments when trying to enter, and realizing upon entry that the canal has absolutely no texture. You're fucking two pounds of silicone-derivative that has no sensation whatsoever except for the friction between the penis and the canal walls.

As for discretion/hiding - we're talking about a life-size vulva. You're not going to be able to keep it in the open if you want to obscure it, and the box does little to help by displaying Justine's lovely face next to the faux-vulva. It would take quite a set of brass ones to claim it as modern art - it's quite blatant in being a sex toy. This raises the question of why we should have to hide our sex toys in our own bedrooms, but I'll leave the masturbation revolution for another review.

Again - this is a silicone derivative, and should not be assumed to be dunked in boiling water for cleaning. Odds are pretty good that from a vaginal penetration, the user will clear the common canal exit on orgasm. Still, I would strongly recommend cleaning between uses with warm water and a toy cleaner.

The manufacturer provides a small bottle of futurotic treatment to help keep the skin feeling fresh. Honestly, though, the manufacturing process leaves it so soaked in synthetic oils that it shouldn't be an issue for many uses and washings.

The packaging lacks any amount of discretion - it clearly depicts Justine and the Futurotic Pussy. It's your typical soft-cardboard outer box with a plastic shell inside containing the goods - the pussy, the Futurotic treatment powder, and a bullet/egg vibrator to insert into the toy while using it. The plastic shell isn't great, but it's not a bad way of holding the toy between uses, provided you cover it somehow. I suggest using the shell because, as mentioned above, the Futurotic material has a certain oiliness to it to start with, which may mark fabrics or paper or leave a residue on wood.

I'll admit it - I had high hopes for this toy. I've had a long-time crush on Justine Joli (back from when she still was going by the stage name "Swan"), so when I saw this toy I thought it'd be fantastic to try out.

After my initial concerns regarding the oiliness of the material (and, to be fair I should note that this is fairly common among a number of the silicone-based flesh-like materials - not just Futurotic) by putting down a towel on my bed, I attempted to find the vaginal opening. This may sound a bit odd, but the hole just wasn't visible - I only found it by feeling from the inside channel up and poking through the material. I suspect that when it was manufactured the hole somehow sealed slightly. After that initial awkwardness, I found the second obstacle - the opening was so tight, I was afraid I would tear the material. When I finally was satisfied that I wouldn't cause a tear, I hit obstacles three and four - the aforementioned awkward bend between the vaginal canal and the common canal, and the utter lack of texture.

As I mention in my profile, I have ED, so you may be able to imagine my frustration with the breaks between each obstacle where I had to work up to an erection again. I'd then attempt to use the toy, only to find another problem would crop up, or that the awkward positioning required for natural thrusting and lack of texture didn't provide enough stimulus for my package. I attempted both missionary position (which the toy *seems* to be designed for) and cowgirl, both times without anything resembling success.

Ultimately, even if the lack of texture and awkward angles and confined opening (which was about the only positive I could give the toy) weren't damning enough, the size of the toy would ultimately doom it. It's too small to naturally thrust into it, and too heavy to use like a sleeve.

I may try using the toy as a basis for teaching myself life-casting techniques, but it is sadly out for erotic purposes.