I'd Rather Fuck a Tin Can

The item isn't worth it due to the inner bumps. A short shaft and wide lips on a pocket pussy doesn't necessarily make it a poor product; but harmful, almost needle-like bumps do.
Published:
Pros
- vibration remote control with adjustable power
- removable bullet
Cons
- lips too wide
- shaft too short
- vibration too weak
- inner bumps digging
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review

Use

The best way to use this product is to chuck it in a trash compactor and compress it like the Shredder's helmet in the live-action TMNT. Really though, the object in question carries a nasty scent and some horrific innards, the likes of which can only be found in something like the 33rd circle of HELL.

In reality, one sticks their member inside this hardened pocket pussy and proceeds to toss their nuts off. There's a wired vibration remote. The level of pleasure can be adjusted via dial, but it isn't even worth it. The best thing to do with this part is to take the bullet out of the fat lips and use it on yourself or your partner. The hand held device stimulates all parts of the penis, but in the worst possible way.

This toy will, however, work very well for anyone wishing to leave slight injurious fissures in their shaft. So if you like it really rough and painful, maybe you'll have a grand time.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly

Material / Texture

This poly vinyl chloride toy comes with a unnaturally-infused cherry scent reminiscent of some of the worst medicine I remember from my childhood. The additional pathetic volume of cherry lube doesn't help this hardened vagina either. There's no addition of stimulation or any thing good for that matter. It's hard, rough, and...mean. It's like an angry beast that lures you in with a sign saying "Nice Doggy, I Swear." Don't buy it. Just...stay...away.
    • Rigid
    • Strong odor
    • Textured interior

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The design of this toy is pretty poor. It's got a long shaft...but not long enough. It's got lips...that one doesn't need to push through. They're about two inches apart. This is the furthest thing from realistic I have found on this site or any sex shop for that matter.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The whole thing is terrible!

Care and Maintenance

As long as one separates the attached remote control from the pocket itself, it's easy to clean with soap and water. Be sure to fully dry your toy after cleaning.

Any lube is usable with this product.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Personal comments

RUUUUUUUUUUN!

Experience

It hurt.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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This review was edited by
  • married with children Contributor: married with children
  • Rank:
    6.4 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 187
Comments
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  • Contributor: Jimbo Jones
    Wow, your review makes this sound downright scary. I may have to get it just for curiosities sake. The interior nubs were too hard regardless of the presence of lube? Thanks for the warning!
  • Contributor: Breas
    My partner got a product that had nubs like this... even with the lube it's brutal, so we totally know what your talking about lol thanks very much!
  • Contributor: melissa1973
    Ouch!!! Thanks for sacraficing yourself for the team, great review!
  • Contributor: Beck
    Oh my, thanks for the warning.
  • Contributor: Ansley
    LOL Love the review, sorry it was such a terrible waste of effort and time.
  • Contributor: Mike Honcho
    Great review. 33rd circle of hell... LOL.
  • Contributor: haha
    Ouch!!
  • Contributor: Fun with Dick & Jane
    Sorry to laugh at your pain but your review was great. Thanks for the brutal honesy!!
  • Contributor: laceypanties
    Thank you!!
  • Contributor: locomotion
    great review, thanks so much
  • Contributor: MistressDandelion
    Sounds scary... Let's make an horror movie out of this
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