College tease - pocket pussie by Cal Exotics - review by Shaelote

Add resource

"It's like wang armor!"

I just couldn't do it. My boyfriend and I tried it, and laughed our butts off. The head of his penis kept popping out the end, it kept popping OFF, and really, it just wasn't that enjoyable an experience for either one of us. If you want a masturbator, it's probably a good one - but it just wasn't our style.
Tight masturbator, easy to use once you get the penis IN the toy
Hilarity ensues if you're unable to take the experiment seriously; resembles penis armor
Rating by reviewer:
useful review


The best - or shall I say, intended - use for this toy is as a male masturbator. The "college tease" is a thick TPR toy with a "mouth" on the business end. Well, it looked like a mouth to me, but as most of the toy is clear, it was difficult to tell if it was a mouth or pussy lips. Regardless, this toy is (obviously) for a male - unless you're a lot more clever than I am! - and can be used in any situation that I can think of, unless you're in the living room with your parents. Probably best not to use it then.

Also, use protection and don't share!
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool

Material / Texture

The first thing that I noticed about the tease was the smell. It had a very heady plastic-type smell; once washed the smell faded, but it was definitely a deterrent when I first opened the box. It's a very squishy masturbator; since I don't have the required equipment, I had a few moments of wondering just how, exactly, this would be any good for a man; the squishiest toys aren't necessarily the best for women, after all. Texture's for any user, but I will say that it's difficult on the first few uses due to a bit more tightness than I'd thought (will go into detail on this later on in the review).
    • Flexible
    • Strong odor

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The design, for me and my boyfriend, wasn't anything to write home about. I had to peel apart the "lips" of the toy and push fairly hard to even get it on my boy's penis! If you let go of the toy, it easily slips right off; and not because it's too loose, but because it's tight enough that it'll pop off like a spring. If your boy is long enough and the head of his shaft can go to the end of the toy and beyond, it can stay on there with the head securing it. Hence the penis armor - it basically looked like a thick, jelly suit of armor around my boy's penis. The design of this toy made us burst into laughter and we pretty much lost the mood, but we soldiered on for the sake of reviews!
    • May be too tight for some
    • Tight fitting

Care and Maintenance

This toy, while lube-friendly, also creates quite a sticky mess when you're finished. Precome + lube + enclosed surfaces are bad enough - we didn't get far enough to test it with come, but my boy nearly needed a shower by the time we were done. NOT easy to take care of - I can't imagine how you'd clean the inside of this toy. I'd store it in a plastic bag or case, because it seems like it would get everything and its brother stuck to it quite easily (cat hair, anyone?).
    • Hard to clean
    • High maintenance
Follow-up commentary
It's just too funny for us to use. I'm sure it's a wonderful toy for a lot of people, but masturbators just aren't for us!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
Become a Reviewer. Get free toys. Enjoy Special Deals
This review was edited by
  • Jul!a Jul!a
  • Rank:
  • Edited reviews: 333
  • Graduated students: 43
Do you like this review?
  • ToyTimeTim
    TPE can become softer if you give it a good rinse with hot water, that may help getting it on the penis. Something to try, and it will get rid of anything that sticks to it.
  • Solar Ray
    Great review and some humor as well.
  • Shaelote
    Thanks guys
  • ~LaUr3n~
    lol that sounds ridiculous!
  • Xavier7
    Very very good review.
No discussions yet.
Thank you for viewing College tease – pocket pussie review page!