Mermaid masturbator - pocket pussie by Cal Exotics - review by OhMy!

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Looks like an Avatar reject

This one has one big problem - you won't want to use it!

Why? Because it's poorly constructed, difficult to fit, and doesn't really get the job done.
None - other than figure of woman provides place to securely grip
Too tight for almost anyone. Not stimulating. Awful smell. Read my full review for details.
Rating by reviewer:
useful review


The mermaid is yet another hand-held men's penis stroker/masturbator for solo or couples use in the bedroom, living room, or any other place you may want to play with it. It is best accompanied with a decent amount of lube or else you might get your wang ripped off!
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Masturbation
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly

Material / Texture

When I first took this out of the box, I couldn't help thinking "this looks like a bustier version of an Avatar character", so I was immediately amused by the blue color. The second thing I noticed were the exaggerated features of the "jello-like" woman - which certainly did nothing for me in the arousal department. I kept wanting to flick the breasts with my fingers as if I was going to kick a field goal with them. The final thing I couldn't get past was the immense petroleum smell. This got even worse when lube was added during use - but more on that later.

Overall, the consistency is ok, and felt pleasing...until I slipped inside it.
    • Flexible
    • Strong odor
    • Textured interior

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The design is less than impressive. The figure of a woman on the front is, for the most part, intrusive and certainly not worthwhile. The only benefit is that it does give you something to securely grab onto, unlike others that have a smoother or more streamlined exterior.

Fit is yet another issue. While we all want the most stimulation from our toys, this one takes it a little too far. While I'm certainly not a magnum-membered man, I felt like I was trying to cram a jackhammer into a pinhole with this toy. Even after attempting to pre-stretch this on a cucumber and the use of lube, I felt like I was getting the circulation of my penis cut-off every time I used it. No matter what size wang you have, this thing will grab it and not give it back!

The stimulation factor also gets a failing grade. The texture is not very pronounced, and adds even more discomfort when combined with the overly-tight fit. Honestly, I think my left hand does better.
    • Whimsical / artistic
    • Too tight

Functions / Performance / Controls

Most masturbators can be used virtually anywhere and there's obviously no batteries required. As for moving parts - that would be your department. It moves as fast as you can...if you ever use it.
    • Not very stimulating

Care and Maintenance

Since I only used this product a small number of times before discarding it, I can't fully comment on the best use and care of this product. That said, it is always wise to thoroughly clean your toys as soon as possible with soap and water, or toy cleaning products.

Personal comments

Horrible product. There are many others that outshine this piece of junk. I have owned two Fujiko Velvet Touch Masturbators (Product code SE094611) and have been much more pleased for the money.
Follow-up commentary
Let me check....

Yep, still awful. Shop around for a better choice - you won't be disappointed. Unless you buy this thing!
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Do you like this review?
  • Sammi
    Sorry this was such a disappointment.
    Nice review!
  • Pandahb
    Great review!
  • DeliciousSurprise
    Good review, sorry this didn't work out so well for you.
  • catalunalilith
  • Menarae
    Nice to know it's uncomfortable. My shop sells a lot of jelly sleeves with super-tight holes, but I lack the equipment for proper testing. I'd always wondered how the average-sized guy would feel in one. Great review
  • OhMy!
    Probably not going to be a "best seller". The Fujiko Velvet Touch, among others, are probably better bets.
  • Top Living In A Lie
    thanks for review!
  • Allstars316
    Thanks for the review!
  • Falsepast
    think i'll pass on this one
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