Tantric Sex is a lifestyle, not a magic fix!

Not knowing Kavida Rei, I looked her up and found her web site. She is a writer, a musician, a composer, a sex therapist and a qualified Tantric guide. Similar to most of us, she began her life trying to find how she fit in the world. She found personal peace through music and acting. After a brief marriage, children and friendly divorce she learned more and more about healing, counseling and eventually Tantra.

This book is a fantastic book for anyone that has heard about the practices of Tantra or Tantric sex and is curious, wants to know more or a deeper understanding. "Tantra is an ancient Indian practice that is still relevant today. It celebrates the body and sexuality, teaching that the sexual act epitomizes your divine nature, and can lead to enlightenment. Tantric sex can bring vitality and intimacy to your relationship. In tantra we honor the divine in everyone and everything. You will begin to see beauty in the world around you in places you never even knew existed." This book is not geared for those that are want to explore tantra / Tantric sex as a "quick fix", a new sexual practice, or because they have heard how it can leave you multi-orgasmic.

If you do a google book search for "tantric sex" you will get "The idiots guide to Tantric sex", "Life's Too Short for Tantric Sex: 50 Shortcuts to Sexual Ecstasy" and "The Art of Tantric Sex" along with many others. This book places an emphasis on respect, time, sexually meditative practices,communication and a individually healthy lifestyle.

After explaining what tantra is and that a healthy body is at the center, it moves onto the importance of an "opening ceremony." This is some form of a greeting in a ritualized or meditative (sexual or peaceful in this context) space and a "Namaste" greeting with means "I bow down to the divine in you." This is emphasized throughout the book.

The book moves into a section called "The art of Tantra" which includes "The Sacred Body," "The Sacred Relationship," and "The Sacred space." In this section there is an understanding of what the seven chakras mean, the relationship between male and female chakras, honoring your body, how to nurture your love relationship and positively release emotions.

Later sections include information about creating a Tantric space, ritual objects, altars, self exploration and self pleasuring. There is an explanation of why tantra practices ejaculation control because spilling one's seed is considered "leaks the seed of life, but also cuts off the energy flow around the sex center." There are sections that talk about waking up your sexuality, waking up your senses in a sexual context, sexual dancing - naturally, laughter, play and touch.

The last part of the book is about "engaging with your bodies." This begins slowly with breathing exercises, kissing, and erotic massage (without pressure for sexual performance) It moves to genital massage, oral pleasuring, sexual union.

When flipping through this book the first thing that you'll notice is the pictures. They are gorgeous and on every page. As you read the text though, you'll find that the pictures actually match the text. In the section on increasing sensory pleasure through "taste" you'll find a picture of a woman being fed a strawberry. There is a full page close up of almost just the lips in the section on "Kiss exploration." Almost all of the pictures are complete nude, but they are from a practical and realistic perspective rather than a pornographic or photo shoot scene. The models are in good physical condition, but are not the usual extremely attractive models. They look like real people, and there is a mix of younger and older couples.

The book also has a table of contents, resource section and index. It's actually a DK book - for adults.

There are a lot of people who have heard "something" about "tantra" and how it will improve your sex life. This book is easy to read, easy to understand, and offers a fantastic understanding of the philosophy behind what Tantra means. I feel that I now understand it on many levels. Yet a lot of it is some pretty basic material - respect your body and treat it in ways that ensure good health, respect your partner and treat him/her with respect that borders on worship. Learn methods of non-verbal communication. Awaken all your senses. Allow all of your emotions and sensations to be felt and expressed. The difference is that in Tantra all of this is done as part of one philosophy rather than individual pieces.

The Tantric practices take both time and commitment and the willingness of your partner. This book will provide an interesting education and maybe some useful tips but if your life is busy, harried, and has sexual problems this book will not provide easy solutions. Forget the advertising - "tantric" is not going to make you multi-orgasmic. It won't without the true commitment to time and each other that is inherent in both Tantra and a good relationship that is unaware of Tantra.

This book would be ideal for a new, young couple that can still build into the patterns of their life extra time and rituals that are ideally suited to strengthening any sexual relationship. From a practical standpoint, I don't see how a lot of the busy, adult, sleep-deprived couples of our chaotic modern society could work towards a Tantric relationship without a deep commitment towards it. Not everyone will believe in chakras or spiritual energy or the relationship between sexuality and divine. Some people might actually want the wild and sometimes brutal sex that comes from the ability to say "I want to fuck you now!"

This book is purely a male/female couple oriented book. The sections about self-pleasuring or exploration might be appropriate to those in other relationship status, but this book simply assumes that the male/female chakras attract each other and ignores other relationship dynamics and types.