Urban Tantra - book discontinued by Celestial Arts - review by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)

Barbara Carrellas is not only a fantastic author, but also a sex educator to back it up. She runs award-winning workshops on Tantric sexuality. She's written this book and a few others, been featured on HBO's Real Sex series several times, has her own audio program, and is the author of a large amount of literature out there on Tantra and other related subjects. On top of that, she's a theater artist which comes through in her engaging writing. She's witty, humorous, and has a wonderful way with words. There wasn't a second while reading this book that I felt lost or incredibly bored.

Unlike other Tantra books out there that only seem to be relevant to male-female couples, this one takes all orientations, preferences, genders, and tastes into account. Carrellas does a wonderful job of emphasizing this in her writing and I'm very pleased that she wrote a "one size fits all" guide on tantra. As a bisexual I can appreciate this because I'm not always with the same gender, so I need information that works on both sides.

The title, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the 21st Century, assures you that this book puts a modern spin on Tantra, and accomplishes this very well. All of the information is incredibly useful and relevant to the daily life of the reader.

Let's take a look at what's inside:

The foreword is courtesy of Annie Sprinkle, PhD. She acclaims Carrellas's work and leaves us with this hilarious mantra that sets the tone for the book:

Om shanti panty
Ha hari hairy
Tit pat tooshie
Just say ya ya yaaaaaa
Taxi sat samosa
Va va voom voom
Jaya juicy ju ju
Thy cum be yum
Oh ma ma me-ah
Nookie nir-va-na
Yum yum yum
Om. Welcome home. Om.

(If you don't giggle at that you have no sense of humor!)

The Introduction is, well, and introduction to Tantra. It dedicates the first section to explaining what Tantra is, but it never fully defines it. My idea on it is that Tantra is the act of embracing the life (sexual in this case) energy that flows through you, and allowing yourself to experience a pure unity and connection of the mind, body, and spirit. It's far beyond emotions and physical sensations. It involves the deepest reaches of the soul and allows you to experience the highest level of pleasure attainable. This section also dispels some of the common myths about Tantra. It's not a religion, it's not just man and woman, it can be about fucking, it doesn't take forever to do, you don't need a partner, and yes, a book like this is really a book about Tantra.

Part 1: The Basics
Key Ideas:
-Tantra is about ecstasy, not pleasure. Pleasure is a physical sensation, while ecstasy is the pinnacle of spiritual bliss.
-Be here now. Clear your mind. Accept everything as it is. Make no judgments. Look for a peace and purity of mind. (This is right out of some Buddhist philosophy. I can get down with that.)
-Learn about the different chakras and how to listen to, channel, and harness the energy of each.
-Learn basic techniques for meditative states that calm the mind and focus the attention inward.
-Learn about 20-minute consciousness boosters that help to get the mind into the encouraged states of this chapter.

Part 2: Tantra for One
Most books on Tantra lead you to believe that it's something only couples can do. If you're single, dammit, you can have that ecstasy too! It's all about energy here, and not just someone else's. Learning how to harness and experience your own energy will only benefit you when with a partner. The chapter covers the different "types" of energies you can awaken. They explain orgasms (just in case someone doesn't know). Then they lay out orgasm tips for "male-bodied" and "female-bodied" people. The rest of this chapter is dedicated to solo practices that can help you awaken your own sexual energy. There are several techniques that are simple and easy to do. They don't require anything too fancy. Most of what they ask you to do is mental. I briefly practiced some of these techniques during a nightly solo romp and it was a much more powerful experience. The key is to just focus on the sensations; your breath, the feelings pulsing throughout your body, and the pleasure you feel in your loins. Riding that peak of pleasure through moving slowly and flirting with orgasms but not letting it just happen right away will turn a normal orgasm into a soulgasm. It's a good time.

Part 3: Tantra For Two: A Tantric Ritual (This is a really fun chapter!)
The start of this chapter is what you'd expect from a book on Tantric sex. It goes over ways to set a nice spiritual atmosphere with music, candles, lighting, props, and all that good stuff. Next, it introduces some great relaxation techniques that will help you to clear your mind so you can really tap into that sexual energy between your partner and yourself. Next, we find advice on exploring touch, how to share and balance your energy with your partner, Tantric-style positions for love making (without showing or explaining different ones, but making suggestions for positions that will open up that energy), and then we come to the "Tantric Fucking" section of this part. Not something you'd expect to see in this book, right? Basically, you don't have to sit there for hours and hours barely moving and not getting off. You can fuck to your heart's content and have it still be Tantric. What does that mean?

"-It means you are breathing.
-It means that your focus is on intention. If your intention is to pleasure someone's clitoris, you stay focused on the clitoris and your partner's response to each of your touches.
-It means that you are present in the moment and not focusing on some orgasmic goal.
-It means that you are fucking at the Resilient Edge of Resistance - whether your fucking is wild, hard, and loud, or soft, slow, and delicate."

That's what Tantric fucking is. Amazing.

After this it takes you through different ways to soak up the last of that sexual energy in the afterglow. Tantric post-coital cuddles.

The second part of this whole section is dedicated to touch and massage, but not that whole full body massage that so many of these books spend ages covering. No, this massage is the "erotic awakening massage". In other words, it's a bunch of fun tips for playing with your partner's junk in a more spiritual way. We are taken through fun things to do a vagina, and then BAM! The 'Filled With Love' move. Yeah, it's fisting. Spiritual fisting. Bet you didn't expect that? After this there are techniques for rubbing a penis in nice ways.

Part 4: Tantra for the Adventurous
So if spiritual fisting and Tantric fucking wasn't adventurous enough for you, this part will be fun for you. The first method for adventure starts out with BDSM. The philosophy behind it is explained, the myths are broken, and the connection between Tantra and BDSM is shown. It's a rather short and brief look at BDSM, though.

After this we're given an Erotic Playsheet to fill out that outlines our boundaries, needs, wishes, and what techniques you're feeling into that evening. It's a great place to start with a partner because it helps to open the lines of communication and get both on the same page. Hell, the way this is written makes it a great idea for BDSM play, too. We move on to Tantra in a group setting and how powerful of an experience it can be. The final chapter in this section is about "Sex Magic" which basically emphasizes the magical powers of sex (obvliously). Sex magic refers to the ability that sex, masturbation, and orgasms have to make us relax, feel better, heal, and nice stuff like that. Good to think about.

I love everything about this book. If the info wasn't enough, it's thrown together in an incredible way. The illustrations apply to everyone regardless of their orientation or gender. The hetero, lesbian, and gay illustrations are in sections that cover the general information, not just couple specific, which is great.

The book is also of wonderful quality. The cover is quite rigid and durable which is something I appreciate because I'm going to put this phenomenal tome of Tantra to good use.

Here, it's pretty, see?

This book has seriously opened my mind and was an amazing compliment to the studies I'm currently doing on Buddhism and the mind-body-spirit connection. It showed me so many things I wasn't aware could be applied to sex even though I'd been applying them to all of the other aspects of life. I debated which Tantra book to buy because it was something I was curious about, but I didn't want all of that out there fluff that these books can sometimes overdo. I really couldn't imagine a book that could be more perfect than this.

Sadly, at the moment, it got discontinued and that makes me horribly sad. It's one of the best I've ever read sex-related or not.