#99? More like #3

If you're looking for a quirky vibrator with a bit of a fun edge, #99 is probably for you. However, it's nothing too Earth-shattering, and it's definitely not an all-around kind of toy. This is a bullet in a flexible dildo package that is just a little bit more fun than something plainer.
Strong, discreet vibrations bring you to the edge in no time
The rotation is useless
Batteries have to be fresh for the best experience
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


It took me a while to warm up to #99...I picked it out at the store because it *looked* fun. Those pink bends, combined with its length, had me thinking I'd be able to get some good G-spot and general vaginal stimulation out of it. So I took it home, got down to business, and...well, for me, not too much happened. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love how #99 feels inside, but the overall sensation wasn't what I would call bliss; I'd just call it comfortable.
However, that doesn't mean the same will happen for you. I think, after some experimentation over the past couple of years, that my G-spot just doesn't react to vibrations for whatever reason.

I think the rotation on this toy is essentially useless. When it's inside you, the handle part closer to the base is what really gets moving, more than anything else. Maybe with a partner holding the toy, the rotation will operate properly, but that hasn't been my experience. When both the vibration and rotation are going full-blast, one will usually reduce the power of the other; so I just stopped bothering with rotation.

I've used this toy primarily for the vibration function and also for insertion. The vibration is quiet and very effective. Even on the high setting, the sound won't send anyone running to my bedroom to find out where the bee convention is. Yet, I can orgasm within a few minutes with the vibration even on the lowest setting.

I typically use the bullet end of this vibrator on my clitoris, but I've also used it almost everywhere else. It perks my nipples right up, and my partner can tease me by running it down my tummy and around my labia.

I love the fact that this toy is waterproof (as all of the Lucid Dreams vibes are) because that leads to some shower fun sometimes. I don't recommend submerging this toy (or any toy) because water can still get inside and ruin the mechanical magic bits.

I have, unfortunately, worn my #99 out; the bullet just gave out a few days ago after over two years of faithful use.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Hotel room
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Simple settings
    • Strong vibration
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • G-spot
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

This toy is both smooth and soft. The jelly warms easily and provides some give to allow for a little bit of bending during play, which is quite welcome. Its curves definitely move to fit you.
I actually loved putting it in my mouth, despite the slight plastic taste.
    • Flexible
    • Light odor
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

I'm not entirely certain that #99 wouldn't have been any different if it had been a perfectly straight vibe. However, if it had been, it probably would have been #1 instead of #99; a lot more generic. The curves along the shaft do allow for some slightly different sensations, but it's probably not all that different from other vibes. I believe the curves do provide for a different experience when it comes to insertion.

There are only five buttons — an up/down for both rotation and vibration, as well as one that reverses the rotation. These buttons are easy enough to learn when you're playing solo, and they're definitely within reach.

This toy is fairly large. I'm not saying it's the size of your arm or anything, but there's zero doubt as to what it's for when you look at it. For that reason, it might not be so travel friendly, depending on your method of travel. I've taken it with me on many a road trip, but I couldn't imagine packing this in my suitcase or taking it through TSA without a couple of looks.
    • Beginner
    • Simple
    • Whimsical / artistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

The vibrations all come from the bullet end of the toy, which is located on the head. The vibrations are the best part of this toy because they're discreet enough for me to not arouse any suspicions when I'm at a parents house.

The vibrations themselves tend to be strongest when using brand-new batteries, so I found myself changing them out long before it was time.

The controls are conveniently located at the base of the toy. As I stated earlier, there are five buttons, two each for the vibration and rotation controls, and one to reverse the rotation. The rotation does basically nothing except cause the base to move around. To even make the rotations do anything resembling a proper performance, I had to hold this toy between my legs.

This toy also make a nice shower buddy. I would recommend not submerging it, because water can get underneath the jelly and into the mechanical bits and bobs.
    • Discreet sound
    • Easy to use
    • Multiple settings

Care and Maintenance

The jelly material used in this toy means that it's a dust magnet. However...

Because this toy's waterproof, you won't have much trouble washing it. It has also been very compatible with every kind of lube I've tried.

You do need to be careful not to get any water inside the toy, which can still happen despite the "waterproof" tag. I recommend storing it in a drawer.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store
    • High maintenance


#99 comes in a plastic box, cradled in a molded plastic shell. This packaging isn't discreet at all, so you probably won't want to keep it around. I don't recall any instructions coming with this toy, but it's mostly self-explanatory.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet
    • Recyclable

Personal comments

I'm so sad that my #99 has passed on to another life in vibrator heaven. It was, I like to think, a very unconventional relationship. I'll be honest; at first, I hated #99. I thought that we'd never get along, but I had to grow and learn myself before I could find a better life with #99. And now...I'm not so sure I'll be OK without it in my life.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • wetone123 Contributor: wetone123
  • Rank:
  • Edited reviews: 212
  • Contributor: wetone123
    Your review left me a little confused. Did you like it or not? You say that you can't live without it now it's played out, but only give it 3 stars. Will you replace the toy? Jelly is a very porous material and should be used with a condom if sharing.
  • Contributor: Candybeans
    I liked it, but not for its intended purpose, if that makes sense.
  • Contributor: Candybeans
    And it never really blew my mind, hence the 3. 3's average. I know there's better stuff out there — I'll be more specific with those when I write, haha.
  • Contributor: Candybeans
    Wish I could edit comments! I keep realizing I haven't responded to everything. Thanks for the jelly education. Makes me glad I never shared this with anyone in a way that would be problematic. And I figure I can use this experience to help me find something 5-star worthy.
  • Contributor: Miss Anonymous
    Thanks for the reivew! I enjoyed reading it
  • Contributor: Pink Jewel
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: Danielle1220
    Good review!
  • Contributor: wetone123
    Thanks for answering. Yes, there are going to be better toys out there for you, that WILL blow your mind. Hope to see more reviews from you on some of them!
  • Contributor: Ansley
    Great job on your first review, very detail oriented! I don't understand why toys can't all be powerhouses for us "clit-o-steel" women. Still, it looks cute and might come in handy in a pinch. Thanks for the info!
  • Contributor: Candybeans
    Grr, clits-o-steel! Maybe that's my problem! Hehe.

    And thank you for all of the comments! This is the first time I've ever reviewed something like this, so I appreciate the encouragement.
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