Inappropriate thoughts that haunt me about Twilight:
1. Why the hell am I reading the Twilight series?
2. The Twilight vampires are so strong that they can inadvertently knock someone’s head off if they aren’t paying attention because humans are as softer than butter compared them. So wouldn’t having sex with Bella be like fucking a wishing well?
3. No, really. Why am I reading these? I’m 35, for God’s sake. This is more embarrassing than that summer I had all those weird sex dreams about Dumbledore.
4. Wait, I mean Snape. Not Dumbledore. No one has sex dreams about Dumbledore. That would be disgusting.
5. Okay, fine. It was a three-way with Snape and Dumbledore. Ron Weasley was watching for some reason. That part was weird.
2. The Twilight vampires are so strong that they can inadvertently knock someone’s head off if they aren’t paying attention because humans are as softer than butter compared them. So wouldn’t having sex with Bella be like fucking a wishing well?
3. No, really. Why am I reading these? I’m 35, for God’s sake. This is more embarrassing than that summer I had all those weird sex dreams about Dumbledore.
4. Wait, I mean Snape. Not Dumbledore. No one has sex dreams about Dumbledore. That would be disgusting.
5. Okay, fine. It was a three-way with Snape and Dumbledore. Ron Weasley was watching for some reason. That part was weird.
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