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How To Say No To Sex

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I realize that this article is supposed to be about having sex but chances are that if you’re sexually active you also need to know how to say “no” to sex.


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Contributor: Brenna

“Spaghetti. Rhinoceros. Whose hippo is that?”

That one's my favorite! It would totally work. Totally!


Contributor: Cat McManus
Cat McManus  

“I totally would but there’s a chipmunk in my vagina. I’m really into deforestation issues so I let forest animals live in my vagina as a living protest to them losing their homes.”

That so needs to be on the next set of Christmas cards or on a t-shirt.

Oh how about Christmas card of Wil Weaton wearing that shirt... Aww but he doesn't have a vagina. *Pouts*

Contributor: Jamal

If all else fails, combine some of them "I'm sorry, but theres a chimpunk with a raging case of Gonoherpititis and explosive diarrhea living in my vagina."

Contributor: Katinedinburgh

”Sorry. I stopped wearing earrings for a year and my piercings grew over. The same thing happened to my vagina.”

Almost spat out my coffee!

Contributor: remittancegirl

I have to strongly disagree with the premise of your second paragraph. Women are much more culturally armed to say 'no' to sex. Men are never taught nor are they expected to say it. In fact they are brainwashed into believing that real men never turn it down.

Contributor: chestyleroux

The only excuse I ever used that worked was AIDS. I don't know, I was getting annoyed and just blurted it out. I told him I was only joking afterwards, but it worked a charm... he didn't insist again.

Contributor: Jennifer Nguyen
Jennifer Nguyen  

"I'm just not emotionally and vaginally available. And my grandma is stuck in the oven and I need to get her out."

Contributor: Phoenix77

If all else fails, combine some of them "I'm sorry, but theres a chimpunk with a raging case of Gonoherpititis and explosive diarrhea living in my vagina."


Also, I almost want someone to try to insist just so I can tell them I have a chipmunk living in my vagina, for no reason. Brilliant

Contributor: The Blue Muse
The Blue Muse  

"I'm really into deforestation issues." HA! Love this post.

Contributor: Invisible Friend
Invisible Friend  

I once headed off a proposition by saying that I faked orgasms (not quite sure how I snuck that into the conversation).

Contributor: obsidian

Heh. In Clerks 2, there's this scene...

We never get to meet the girl, not in the bits I paid attention to anyway, so I was never sure if /she/ actually believed she had a pussy troll or if she just said it to get out of sex.

Contributor: hotcoktail

why should some one say no to sex?

Contributor: SMichelle

this was a fun read

Contributor: iwantyouwantingme

hmmm how about... "Im actually having a discharge problem right now, it smells like an infection, will you smell it for me and give me your opinion?" hm. I may be a sick fuck. Oh well.


I totally agree with you love your blog

Contributor: britanny0620

I've read a ton of your articles in the past few days and I must say, I love your attitude. In addition, I love the amazing way you combine fun, silly, sarcastic things into a situation that is OH SO SERIOUS and still end it on the PERFECT NOTE. Thank you for being you, Jenny.