Humor » Sex ed; Sex » All ages, Satire: "The Bloggess: Thirty Things You Shouldn’t Say During Sex"

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The Bloggess: Thirty Things You Shouldn’t Say During Sex

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Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty)

I don't know what I laughed over more... "“Hi, I am Chris Hansen.” or "THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!" omfg. I am dying here.

10/28/2010
Contributor: Neilochka
Neilochka  

For some reason I find the one about the glass eye kinda hot.

10/28/2010
Contributor: mllebeauty

These are seriously funny!

10/28/2010
Contributor: dixie.wrecked
dixie.wrecked  

Spectacularly unfunny, morning radio show type drivel.

10/28/2010
Contributor: RNTGirl
RNTGirl  

who invited dixie wrecked to our lunch table? ((throwing tater tot into her hair))

i'm inviting everyone over to my table for lunch tomorrow at [http://rntgirl.com].

except dixie.

10/28/2010
Contributor: the muskrat
the muskrat  

This reminds me of my days in a convent.

10/29/2010
Contributor: DRG1066
DRG1066  

"THIS. IS. SPARTA."

My life is now complete... completely DESTROYED BY LAUGHTER!!!

10/30/2010
Contributor: Blinker
Blinker  

Am I the only one who is going to try to work at least one of these phrases into sex? I mean, come ON. It's fucking happening.

11/01/2010
Contributor: Pleasure Piratess

Blinker... lemme know how it goes... I'm partial to "slow it down cowboy, you'll hurt my baby's head". My hubby would DIE!!

11/08/2010
Contributor: valky
valky  

Okay, seriously, I am totally going to try to work "This. is. Sparta." into my sex life. The boyfriend's a movie nerd, I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

11/18/2010
Contributor: Mysticdog
Mysticdog  

Is it ok if I call you Dobby? Just for tonight?

11/19/2010
Contributor: shannonre2
shannonre2  

Once when when my boyfriend was finishing he screamed "Arghh!!" like a pirate. On purpose. I still sometimes bust out laughing in the middle of sex because of it.

12/12/2010
Contributor: Illusional

My boyfriend did the This is Sparta... I died almost..

12/21/2010
Contributor: iwantyouwantingme

My ex boyfriend used to say "hey baby, do you want a fish sandwich?" as a come on line to get me into bed. It was really good at turning me COMPLETELY off.

10/20/2011
Contributor: T&A1987
T&A1987  

what's wrong with sparta? It's better than "hulk smash" (for breaking condoms. yes i stole that from smbc-theater).

01/02/2012
Contributor: subwayrailings

unfortunate.

10/06/2012
Contributor: malantha

Awesome,

10/13/2012