Buck Angel Columns

One of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time was to make a video for Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” project. When I found the project while doing my daily work on the Internet, I was so impressed. I'd been getting pretty pissed off about all the bullying and hate surrounding gay kids, and the suicides that resulted I'd been reading about in the news. It made me remember how the same bullying happened to me when I was in school. It was so fucked up when the other kids would laugh at me and make fun of me because I acted like a “boy.” I would then proceed to kick someone’s ass. I got into a lot of fights—always with boys, and I always won. That got me into more trouble because a “girl” was not supposed to win a fight with a boy, right? So, when I see the same crap happening 30 years later—the same exact thing—I am just blown away. How is it possible that things have not changed by now? How come some young boy or girl is still getting teased about being “gay” at the age of 10? How come there is no tolerance? It’s totally unacceptable. I can understand...

Not that I wasn’t a very sexual person before my sex change. It’s just more about how comfortable I am expressing my sexuality, both personally and with others—well actually, with the whole world, if you really think about it. I had no problems getting laid or finding girlfriends before I started taking testosterone. I loved sex. But I never was comfortable getting penetrated vaginally. It always felt very female to me, or maybe more as if I were being weak. I don’t feel that way anymore. It seems weird to admit it now. The thought that I even had an issue with my vagina seems so far away, I can barely remember having those feelings. Many of my girlfriends or sex partners wanted to penetrate me, but I was always too afraid to go there; afraid of what it would make me. Butch dykes are conditioned never to go there. That is a bad place. Of course, back in the day, there were no FTMs, so the only community I fit in was the Dyke community. I knew I didn’t really belong there, but it was the place that made me feel the most “normal.” This is one of the reason...

I love working in the adult industry, but let me tell you it has been a huge challenge. Some of the stereotypes you hear about porn are true. Like the fact that it is full of guys who basically lack sound business practices and even when you sign a legal contract with them, they have no intention of honoring it. That may sound harsh, but it has actually happened to me three fucking times! It has been a total nightmare! I like to be honest, and I can say that I am a man of my word. But when you keep getting screwed…it is REALLY frustrating. Let me give you a couple of examples. When I was starting out, I signed a movie deal with the company that released my very first film, Buck’s Beaver (which earned me my first AVN nomination). Well, after three films, they stopped paying me. I had signed a 12-picture contract with them, but they did they care? Not even. At first, I'd felt very confident that this was going to be a good situation, and the first two films actually went pretty smoothly and I was pretty happy. Then, all of a sudden my payments stopped, and...

Recently, there’s been a very major obscenity case in the U. S. courts. I’m not sure how many people know about it, other than those of us who work in the adult media world. Lots of the public isn’t even aware that there are laws that hinder us in so many ways as artists. It’s one of the many reasons I moved to Mexico. John Stagliano and his company, Evil Angel Productions, were recently taken to court on seven different obscenity charges. The counts against him included “crimes” like sending DVDs over state lines, and having porn that is downloadable to your computer. If convicted, he could have been sentenced to 32 years in prison and have to pay $7 million dollars in fines! Fortunately, the case was dismissed earlier this month, thanks to a woefully inadequate case by the prosecution. The FBI ran a sting operation to get this guy. They pulled agents off terrorism task forces and devoted something like five years to making this porn case. They ordered a DVD and had it sent to one of their offices. They also downloaded the porn to their computers. Yes f...