Lately in the media and on my Facebook newsfeed, there’s so much talk about how women should be comfortable in our own bodies and how women were so much more attractive in the 1950s because we were less skinny and curvier. It is apparently supposed to boost our confidence when men post pictures of a skinny girl next to a larger one with the words “remember when this was more attractive?”
Every time I see this, I want to scream and run for the feminist hills. How is telling a healthy skinny woman, or even an unhealthy skinny woman, that she’s not as attractive as a curvy woman going to make things better for all women? And how is the idea that men should dictate what kind of women are beautiful helping either? It’s time that all women are seen as beautiful, not just thin ones and not just thick ones, and not because a man told them they are, but because they believe they are.
The solution to the widespread low self-esteem among women is not to dictate what anyone’s body should be like, including a thin person’s. That doesn’t mean encourage anorexia, it does mean stop telling a 15-year-old girl who has an extremely high metabolism that she is “too skinny” and accuse her of anorexia or throwing up her food between classes even though she eats 1500 calories a day. There are millions of very healthy women who wear between a size 0 and 4. For those of us who are shorter than 5’4”, don’t have a lot of muscle, but also eat a lot of vegetables and little to no high-fat foods like meat, our weight is perfectly healthy and normal between 100 and 120 pounds and gaining weight would be more stress on our bodies than it would ever help us.
I understand that women who are larger are insulted much more often than skinny women, and I recognize the term fat oppression. However, this is pure sexism. It is still placing demands on women to be what society says men want, and that’s not okay. Telling me to be skinny because potential partners will like me more is just as bad as telling me to gain weight because people don’t like women as skinny as me.
I want to shift now to the opposite of bulimia, anorexia and other weight-loss centered eating disorders. There are people who binge-eat junk food to gain weight. If we shift to hating on skinny bodies, we might put a hold on the weight-loss craze, but we’re going to start a new pressure on women similar to men’s reaction to patriarchal ideas of their bodies—to bulk up. “You’re too skinny” is just as insulting as “you’re too fat.” I’m incredibly offended when someone says I’m too skinny, just as much as I was offended when I was chubbier in 7th grade and was insulted for that. No matter what we do, women are always doing something wrong. When will we just be told that any size, small, medium, large, or extra-large are all acceptable?
People who post these pictures and tell their curvy girlfriends that they’re more beautiful than the skinny girl next door mean well, and they probably don’t intentionally disrespect the women in their lives, and this is not an attack on those individuals, but enough is enough. If you are trying to make larger women feel better about their bodies by attacking skinny women, you are not helping. You might make one woman feel better, but you are hindering all women’s liberation from those same beauty standards.
Every time I see this, I want to scream and run for the feminist hills. How is telling a healthy skinny woman, or even an unhealthy skinny woman, that she’s not as attractive as a curvy woman going to make things better for all women? And how is the idea that men should dictate what kind of women are beautiful helping either? It’s time that all women are seen as beautiful, not just thin ones and not just thick ones, and not because a man told them they are, but because they believe they are.
The solution to the widespread low self-esteem among women is not to dictate what anyone’s body should be like, including a thin person’s. That doesn’t mean encourage anorexia, it does mean stop telling a 15-year-old girl who has an extremely high metabolism that she is “too skinny” and accuse her of anorexia or throwing up her food between classes even though she eats 1500 calories a day. There are millions of very healthy women who wear between a size 0 and 4. For those of us who are shorter than 5’4”, don’t have a lot of muscle, but also eat a lot of vegetables and little to no high-fat foods like meat, our weight is perfectly healthy and normal between 100 and 120 pounds and gaining weight would be more stress on our bodies than it would ever help us.
I understand that women who are larger are insulted much more often than skinny women, and I recognize the term fat oppression. However, this is pure sexism. It is still placing demands on women to be what society says men want, and that’s not okay. Telling me to be skinny because potential partners will like me more is just as bad as telling me to gain weight because people don’t like women as skinny as me.
I want to shift now to the opposite of bulimia, anorexia and other weight-loss centered eating disorders. There are people who binge-eat junk food to gain weight. If we shift to hating on skinny bodies, we might put a hold on the weight-loss craze, but we’re going to start a new pressure on women similar to men’s reaction to patriarchal ideas of their bodies—to bulk up. “You’re too skinny” is just as insulting as “you’re too fat.” I’m incredibly offended when someone says I’m too skinny, just as much as I was offended when I was chubbier in 7th grade and was insulted for that. No matter what we do, women are always doing something wrong. When will we just be told that any size, small, medium, large, or extra-large are all acceptable?
People who post these pictures and tell their curvy girlfriends that they’re more beautiful than the skinny girl next door mean well, and they probably don’t intentionally disrespect the women in their lives, and this is not an attack on those individuals, but enough is enough. If you are trying to make larger women feel better about their bodies by attacking skinny women, you are not helping. You might make one woman feel better, but you are hindering all women’s liberation from those same beauty standards.
Great review! Though, when I see the posts and everything, it's more speaking down on those who feel the need to be anorexic. Skinny or not. There's nothing at all wrong with being skinny. Being one who has been both skinny as well as thick and curvy over my years, there's def a big difference between being healthy skinny and skin and bones. And most of the photos I see saying about curvier women being more attractive are saying they look better than a girl that looks like a skeleton with some skin still attached. And in my opinion, being THAT skinny cannot possibly be healthy. But I do 100% get where you're coming from with this article. So many people are too busy bashing or defending larger women that they fail to realize what it's doing to the healthy skinny women. How I see it is as long as you are healthy, your size should not matter. Weight and size is based off structure, muscles, height, etc, not jean sizes. I have large hips, so even when I was 120lbs, I still wore a size 9 jean and was 5'3''. Good job with your articles, keep it up!
I agree with your points but reject your portrayal of these pictures being created by men. I don't see any mention of how you tracked down the creators and identified their gender. All of the attention to this meme that I have seen in my circles was put out there by women. So please lets not use this to start another gender war. Women on the whole are more critical of their own and each others bodies then men ever are. Yes we have eyes that are drawn to what we desire but we desire all sorts of body styles.
My lovely lady keeps telling me in she wants to lose some weight. I tell her if she wants to lose weight that I support her but that I think she is lovely, sexy and amazingly attractive the way she is and I will be happy with her regardless of how skinny or how heavy she is.
this is to true!!!!!
I always try to explain this to people.
I'm glad this is something people are calling people out on now.
very well put
I hate any type of body shaming but I don't think it's possible for being told you're too skinny to be as bad as being told you're too fat. Just like "cracker" will never be as bad as the N-word. It all has to do with oppression. Even though you're being told your body isn't good enough it is NOT bringing round the weight of cultural oppression where people would literally rather let overweight people die then give them access to medicare/medicaid/public healthcare. There is no such stigma against the ultra-thin. At best they are the paragons of beauty, at worst they are sick and need to get better but even though they are 'sick' they 'deserve' the care to make them 'better'. Fat people, however, must only get off their fat lazy asses, put down the fork and become worthy of being called human again.