Last night, while surfing a kinky social networking site, we received an e-mail. Wait! What? Aren’t we a happily married couple? Very much so! Then why are we on a kinky social networking site? Simple! Our relationship, has been open, primary partnered and with agreements, since its inception. In essence, we are poly, short for polyamorous. We like to define that as “More than one simultaneous, fully disclosed, loving relationship, where all parties involved are aware of the dynamics.” Furthermore, we are actively open – meaning, our relationship is akin to SONAR. Each of us may send out a “ping.” If it is bounced back and amplified? Then we turn that direction, focus a bit and explore the energy that is coming back our way. But let’s save that particular discussion for another article.
Anyway, that is why we were on this site last night, checking our inbox for seeking and return “pings.” More often than not, we get a fair amount of mail each day, but this one stood out. It was a well-written segment of prose from a “serious” kinky guy most assuredly looking to make new long-term friends. The entirety of the message read “New to the BDSM world would love to meet for an encounter im sexy and dominant who love submissive women so if ud like to show me what your made of or looking for a new master hit me up friends are also needed thanks:)...” Can you imagine our delight at being the special people he decided to contact? We actually get a choice. We can be his encounter; we can show him what we are made of, or possibly get a new “master.” What fun!
Unfortunately, sometimes this is what passes for a pick up line on the Internet. Don’t get us wrong, we aren’t old-fashioned or conservative by any stretch of the imagination. But to attract our interest, there has to be a slight amount of intrigue, some intelligent banter or at the very least, use the spell check! We are certainly worth the time to add a little punctuation, passably correct grammar, or even somewhat correct capitalization. Really. Whatever happened to, “Hi, my name is…?” Hell, we’d even settle for, “Those pants look good on you; I bet they’d look better on my bedroom floor.”
Whether “you’ve got mail,” or are sending it, you are connecting through a computer screen. This doesn’t mean that common courtesy has been electronically removed. As a matter of fact, it is more important to be polite online. There is very little else upon which to base an opinion. Email and instant messenger grammar, text and phrasing (along with possibly a profile and picture) are the only ways the recipient has of forming a first impression.
That initial online exchange can tell you a lot about the person who is contacting you. In the above case, the verbiage conveys this message, “I want to use you, or anyone else who answers, because I don’t really care about you as a thinking, feeling human.” In our opinion, it is impersonal to the point of complete objectification (and while that can be fun if that’s what you are going for – we prefer to know someone well, then if it is a desire of theirs to be used…we will gladly help to create that scenario).
Anyway, that is why we were on this site last night, checking our inbox for seeking and return “pings.” More often than not, we get a fair amount of mail each day, but this one stood out. It was a well-written segment of prose from a “serious” kinky guy most assuredly looking to make new long-term friends. The entirety of the message read “New to the BDSM world would love to meet for an encounter im sexy and dominant who love submissive women so if ud like to show me what your made of or looking for a new master hit me up friends are also needed thanks:)...” Can you imagine our delight at being the special people he decided to contact? We actually get a choice. We can be his encounter; we can show him what we are made of, or possibly get a new “master.” What fun!
Unfortunately, sometimes this is what passes for a pick up line on the Internet. Don’t get us wrong, we aren’t old-fashioned or conservative by any stretch of the imagination. But to attract our interest, there has to be a slight amount of intrigue, some intelligent banter or at the very least, use the spell check! We are certainly worth the time to add a little punctuation, passably correct grammar, or even somewhat correct capitalization. Really. Whatever happened to, “Hi, my name is…?” Hell, we’d even settle for, “Those pants look good on you; I bet they’d look better on my bedroom floor.”
Whether “you’ve got mail,” or are sending it, you are connecting through a computer screen. This doesn’t mean that common courtesy has been electronically removed. As a matter of fact, it is more important to be polite online. There is very little else upon which to base an opinion. Email and instant messenger grammar, text and phrasing (along with possibly a profile and picture) are the only ways the recipient has of forming a first impression.
That initial online exchange can tell you a lot about the person who is contacting you. In the above case, the verbiage conveys this message, “I want to use you, or anyone else who answers, because I don’t really care about you as a thinking, feeling human.” In our opinion, it is impersonal to the point of complete objectification (and while that can be fun if that’s what you are going for – we prefer to know someone well, then if it is a desire of theirs to be used…we will gladly help to create that scenario).
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