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Secrets of a Sex Writer: Why I’m Taking The Year Off From Sex and Dating

Secrets of a Sex Writer: Why I’m Taking The Year Off From Sex and Dating Anya Garrett
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The last time I had sex was January 12th. Well, that is if we’re defining “sex” as physical, genital contact with another person. In January, I also had phone sex and cybersex, but since February 1st, have stayed away from all of that. The most action I’ve gotten, by choice, is a kiss goodnight on a street corner.

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Comments

Wow, this is so interesting, Rachel. People do assume that we sex writers are having steamy sex every hour of the day and night, but the truth it that we have ebbs as well as flows and relationships are complicated. We humans make love with the brain, not just the genitals, so we're not always raring to go with every possibility.

Thank you for this thoughtful and candid post. I'll go share it with others now.

Joan Price

Author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and the upcoming Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex.

Join us -- we're talking about ageless sexuality at [http://www.NakedAtOurAge.com]

03/09/2011
Lana Fox  

Yes, I absolutely agree, what a great post. And of course, something we readers and writers of erotica know is that a solo sex life can be deeply rewarding too and can certainly help us on many different levels.

Bravo!

03/10/2011

I keep thinking ... there's a book in this.

03/10/2011

Wonderful post on a topic we don't hear much about. This really resonated with me. Self-improvement and even monk-like discipline can be very rewarding. I think most everyone would be benefit from something similar to this...

03/13/2011
indiglo  

Wow, great post! Taking time out just for you is such a wonderful thing to do. I agree, everyone should allow themselves the opportunity to do it, it's a gift for yourself! Really enjoyed reading. (This is my first time to check out this area of the website, but after reading your post, I can assure you it won't be the last!)

03/14/2011

This is a great sacrifice for you, since you write about sex. I have done this before but never on purpose. I wouldn't do it by choice now thou....

03/16/2011

03/17/2011

Rachel, I just blogged about your post here: [http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2011/03/senior-sex-solo-style.html].

Joan Price

03/18/2011

This is my favorite thing that you've ever written - thank you for posting it and for being so graceful and so authentic at the same time. xo

03/21/2011

Interviews with Award Winning Author of Erotica Rachel Kramer Bussel

  • Writing quality erotica can be very tricky. As both an accomplished editor and author what do you seek out from your work that separates it from other erotica being published?

    Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York-based author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, wrote the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice, and hosts the monthly In The Flesh Reading Series, where she's booked everyone from Susie Bright to Zane. She has written for Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, TheFrisky.com, Gothamist, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, Penthouse, Playgirl, Time Out New York, and other publications. Her writing has been published in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, the Best Women's Erotica Series, Zane's Succulent: Chocolate Flava II and Purple Panties, and others. She wrote her first erotica story, "Monica and Me," about Monica Lewinsky, in 1999 and has been writing smut, first-person essays and journalism about sex and relationships, pop culture, and books ever since. Rachel has a fondness for spanking, rough sex, hotels and general naughtiness...when she can tear herself away from her computer and iPhone. She also has a unbridled passion for cupcakes which she blogs about frequently at her popular group blog Cupcakes Take the Cake.

     Read full interview

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