The New Intimacy

Is BDSM for me?

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Contributor: candice8284 candice8284
I am interested in starting BDSM. What's a great way to start?
11/20/2012
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Contributor: Sharay88 Sharay88
Maybe a few beginner items. A small whip, mask, ball gag, and a paddle. This will turn your world upside down. Hope this helps.
11/20/2012
Contributor: destruction13 destruction13
Quote:
Originally posted by Sharay88
Maybe a few beginner items. A small whip, mask, ball gag, and a paddle. This will turn your world upside down. Hope this helps.
Me my boyfriend started off with simple stuff like soft whip, blindfold, handcuffs . it all depends on how much you trust your sexual partner really because if you don't trust them then its not going to be fun regardless because your going to be uncomfortable the whole time/
11/21/2012
Contributor: tunacan75 tunacan75
Well before anything else, which do you plan on being, the dom or the sub?
11/21/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by candice8284
I am interested in starting BDSM. What's a great way to start?
Well, I'd recommend getting a decent priced "kit" that comes with a little flogger and some restraints. That would be the perfect way to find what you like. I just suggested a few nice beginner kits over on this thread (and I included photos and links!) Check it out and see if those interest ya.
11/24/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
Honestly, do some reading, followed by some introspection. SM 101 and The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book are some great places to start. If you want a more extensive look, Screw the Roses, Send Me The Thorns are good too. What about BDSM interests you? Why? What roles feel like they will fit you the best? Do some homework. There's more to it than handcuffs and whips and Dom and sub. It's a widely varied world that can offer just about anything you could possibly imagine and many, many things you probably couldn't. So explore, but I'd start that exploration within yourself with a little educational help. Figure out what your fantasies and desires are and go from there.
Oh, and it also depends on whether you have a parter that is interested in trying along with you or if you are single. If your partner is interested, encourage them to read and communicate a ton and discuss fantasies and possible scenarios that interest you both.
Educate and communicate. Be honest and thorough.
Good luck and have fun!
11/25/2012
Contributor: kdlt kdlt
I definitely agree that you should start out both by reading and by asking yourself introspective questions regarding your budding interest in BDSM before you purchase any toys or kits.

Speak with your partner, if you have one currently, and see where they stand regarding BDSM. There are so many variants of BDSM play that you'll surely find something you're both interested in-- and if not, you can take turns acting on each other's interests (assuming they're within your comfort zones.) If you don't currently have a partner, the aforementioned introspection is extra important because you'll have to prepare yourself to speak openly and honestly to whoever you might end up playing with.

Be safe and always get consent! And have a good time!
11/25/2012