My wife has finally decided that she wants to try pegging. I actually initiated the discussion and after some thought she liked the idea. We're kind of going through our own little sexual revolution together lately. We both purchased new dildos recently and just ordered nipple clamps, a strap on harness, suede flogger, light restraints and a cock ring. We are both very excited about the new toys and trying them out on each other. The one only thing I'm nervous about is the pegging.

I'm very experienced with anal toys and alone, I can use a dildo or other toy and orgasm with no problem whatsoever. With her using a dildo on me by hand, not so much. I tend to go limp almost immediately and seem to tense up and often feel kind of embarrassed, which makes no sense to me. Actually, anytime she goes near my ass I get nervous, which is odd because I use anal toys by myself almost daily. And it's not because I fear not being clean down there. I always do a small enema and shower before hopping into bed. If I could, I'd have a few drinks to loosen up but that is out of the question.

If anyone has suggestions on how to relax and enjoy the pegging, I'd appreciate it. I really want to do it and be able to have a good time. I've been waiting for years to try this.

Thanks everyone!
Bill less

As mentioned, it's not uncommon for men to lose their erection during anal stimulation. My husband will usually go limp pretty quickly if he's receiving anal/prostate stimulation alone. That said, the fact that you find yourself going limp soon after your wife begins may not necessarily be related to the embarrassment or tenseness you're experiencing.

I'm not sure how enjoyable you'll find pegging if you're still unable to relax while your wife plays with your ass with toys and fingers. I'll second the advice that you take it slow - even take a step back and let your wife play with you more so you become comfortable (or at least no longer get so tense or embarrassed) before you try pegging.

I'm curious to know what feedback you've received from your wife - both verbal and nonverbal. Could some of your nervousness be a response to her body language, technique, attitude, etc.? Have you tried different positions while she is playing with you?

My husband has gone the opposite route. He's engaged in practically no solo anal play to speak of and not a whole lot of experience with me using my fingers and toys on him - but we tried pegging for the first time almost three months ago. We're still trying to figure out what we like and what works for us - maybe a dozen sessions so far - and right now my husband is really enjoying riding cowboy. He says it's a comfortable position (no maintaining leg positions) and he can easily vary the angle of penetration as well as the thrusting depth and speed.

Bonus: Being on the bottom is very comfortable for me which means all I have to concentrate on is using my hands. less

As mentioned, it's not uncommon for men to lose their erection during anal stimulation. My husband will usually go limp pretty quickly if he's receiving anal/prostate stimulation alone. That said, the fact that you find yourself going limp soon after your wife begins may not necessarily be related to the embarrassment or tenseness you're experiencing.

I'm not sure how enjoyable you'll find pegging if you're still unable to relax while your wife plays with your ass with toys and fingers. I'll second the advice that you take it slow - even take a step back and let your wife play with you more so you become comfortable (or at least no longer get so tense or embarrassed) before you try pegging.

I'm curious to know what feedback you've received from your wife - both verbal and nonverbal. Could some of your nervousness be a response to her body language, technique, attitude, etc.? Have you tried different positions while she is playing with you?

My husband has gone the opposite route. He's engaged in practically no solo anal play to speak of and not a whole lot of experience with me using my fingers and toys on him - but we tried pegging for the first time almost three months ago. We're still trying to figure out what we like and what works for us - maybe a dozen sessions so far - and right now my husband is really enjoying riding cowboy. He says it's a comfortable position (no maintaining leg positions) and he can easily vary the angle of penetration as well as the thrusting depth and speed.

Bonus: Being on the bottom is very comfortable for me which means all I have to concentrate on is using my hands. less

I can maintain an erection while being pegged--but only up to a certain size. So far the biggest toy I've actually enjoyed was about 7" long and 1.75" in diameter (Vixskin Johnny). I can insert bigger toys, but I don't tend to stay hard. Johnny's the biggest we've tried for pegging and it feels GREAT. We started with the Vixskin Goodfella, which is 5.5" long and 1.5" wide. It felt great, too.

I'm sure a rubber dildo can be just as comfortable for you if you find the right size (small to start with).

Something I really enjoy is being inside a masturbation sleeve while she pegs me from behind (I'm flat on the bed or bent over the edge). That was, I can thrust along with her and get off at the same time. I just got a fleshlight flight and I'm looking forward to trying it during pegging (maybe tomorrow, yay!).

To make pegging more fun and less stress, I always give myself an enema a couple of hours before we're going to play, and then I lube myself and warm myself up with a toy a little bigger than my wife's going to use on me later. When it's time to play, I just have to re-apply a little lube on me, put some lube on my wife's toy--and enjoy!

I hope it goes well for you and your wife. less

Try the fleshlight; I think you'll like it! My wife pegged me last night, but again with the slipinside sleeve. Which as awesome!

I didn't try the fleshlight last night because I'd tried 'fucking' the fleshlight solo between two pillows and didn't like it much. Today, I tried it without the pillows, just me lying flat on the bed with it under me, and it felt AMAZING! Can't wait until the next pegging session to try it.

If you can stay hard with a dildo that large, it's probably tension/nervousness keeping you from staying hard when you're wife's wielding it. Maybe if you're receiving some 'penis pleasure', it'll be easier to lose yourself in the moment and just go with it. less